Silencing voices in our head

 

When we are tested against our will to know. We wre all subject to interpretation. Therefore, understanding is very much a feeling between what is alive vs miscomprehension. Into what becomes knowledge.

It can even be described as a dream state. Your responsibility is not based on what you say because it would be self centered. If everything you ever said in life was true then makes it impossible from which to lie. Think about it this way. Everything is measured ostensibly.

Can God not be rational...

 I am a super tolerant individual carrying a naturally occult eye for worldly things. It gives me a feel into sharing things as they are.

Candle 🕯 Maker

 There is only one.

One.
One holy ghost.
And people get lost in the fact
Like some jelly donut.

Identifying the cathartic element:

Its role in the transcending of psychosis....

If you are living in gods given freedom and by the grace of God you also believe that only god makes the rules. The question always is... can you break them. How do you act above the law in God's eyes. What answers to God? Can you fake your own death in the eyes of god, if you've failed playing a role independent into living the good life.

the hereafter vs the thereafter

 I feel I am not good enough. My biggest obstacle.

My life is not a lie. I've removed myself from self doubt into a plane of consciousness that trusts my natural instincts.

The real question is... if I don't feel good about myself; how am I suppose know when I am good enough. The hereafter vs thereafter.

"If you’re not (good) enough without it, you’ll never be enough with it."

I'm not a thief... I just cheat while keeping myself honest... like everyone else should.

Is branding yourself as a character actor an act of God?? The answer is in faith and renewal....

What makes competition: is it based on a conditional or is it a spiritual journey based on.

Realist vs downplaying the voice in my head which criticizes judges and makes me feel stuck in mud vs acts of conformity.

What does it mean to be seen vs not being taken seriously vs being taken for granted

Can learning how to act only be substantiated by silencing the voices in your head and being present in your body. Is acting an art of dispelling the diseases of your minds elasticity. The capacity in which you silence the inner critic through learning how to dismiss or negate what you edit (the mind) from filtration of what is truth vs. Ones personal infiltration of what is not truth. I am arguing in favor of how acting may be true or false vs gullibility of the observer to be aware of their realist tendencies. The actor is to therefore serve the lie after which everything else is true as a tactical yet satirical evasion to which the observer is in total disbelief. This the medium saying acting conveys a message 💀 (truth) via a messenger (actor). Acting is to be aware if both a common denominator: that the nature of duality may all so both exist simultaneously. Only aware of the human condition from which they stand upon.

There is no memory of "the all." The all implies the obsever independent of the truth.

I cannot prove the existence of God I can only prove my belief in the existence of God. Huge difference

God, Freedom and its unitary wager

 I often wonder if people define war through its visionary aims. I found this interesting. I am of the belief that all war is sacrilegious. It can mean two things where lines are blurred: that the very act of committing yourself to the cause of war is courageous. That the very cause of war is legalizing mass murder to which you are blind to. We are taught to believe that the truth in Valor to man or woman serving his or her country is of the highest order. I just wonder based on clearer definition of what war represents; how would you entail your personal belief in it. I think I screen the cause of war as follows: I am not suggesting soldiers should be murderers. (Mercenary) I am suggesting that the means of war is a legal use of the cause murder creates on a global scale. Also, I believe in my faith as a human being who reserves that faith in the name of God. That being said I am not against being a soldier depending on the cause. That is to say I find it sacred in the name of God I trust. I will fight for God. Fighting in the name of god is the ultimate ideal. I am more curious about how the typical soldier of war is programmed based on his or her occupation to the idea of war and its main purpose. What drives a solider. What motivates them. This also means to which ends the method of war is based if there exist class conscious of mercenaries. All war... all of it is designed to fit modern day warfare. Western civilization which follows a code... 1- a class conscious struggle between the defeat of our civil liberties so eliminating a primary conscious awarenss in ourselves and 2- the ideals associated with mainting equality of status quo across a universal spectrum. The outcomes in both 1 to 2 respectively replay the same end result in favor of war. Not the soldiers elementary aims.

Rescued Eyes

If it were make believe that water can make memories.

Then I am one to travel to places through which waterfalls are created.

Like the birth of my baptism from where
all my memories followed.
They flow from a holy trail of thoughts and words upon words where my world would be shaped.
And for some strange reason...
nothing appeared to me other than salvation.
What am I accused of in this dark
sanctuary.
Me in my parish.
Where I can feel how the sun takes me home.
The dilation of the mind and its struggle.
The science of purging dreams.
How music fills your heart and soul...
Tears upon tears fueling memories.

Obligation is the prize

 What if God faced you with a proposition that would absolve you of everything you have ever done right or wrong in return for nothing other than your peace of mind. However, you feel that the opposite were true. That even in God's eyes you had such a conviction where you felt so strongly about something you just cannot let it go. Would you surrender to gods acclimation or would you think it is too good to be true and thought highly in favor of yourself, in truth, you would govern your own life with or without gods perdition. 

What would you do.

I would choose to surrender. I would surrender so utterly and completely. I would do that. Simple.

If I were a Mystic

If I were a Mystic....

There are rules to follow.
It is here are basis of games without rules.
Competition vs calculation
No no nonsense.
Every minute is a minute of nostalgia.
I listen to my inner self.
I feel my inner body.
As through the inertia of a giant....
What it is brought to life. (Is brought to life.)
I possess a psychology!...
A secret standard.
I hold onto it with a razor sharp focus.
The pinball keeps rolling...
In every which direction.
I keep going.
Then come back for it.
Like chasing an aroma.
Both ancient and magical.
I reject the ball.
There are no rules of measurement.
There are no rules.
I play with intentions;
Only if you play like you play scrabble.
That sense of a vocabulary which just hits you.
And a Tetris on words combine into meaning.
Pointing the arrow like a weather vain.
Until the mind caves in.

Lost in Evasion

A well rounded character...

The contest is in being present....

Onto breaking rules of convention

I don't plan.
I am in favor of Equality
In the Moment
Naturally interesting
Mutual understanding of a social contract...
I refuse to allow someone policing what I say or do.
I do what the fuck I want.
To help set boundaries....
I don't like being tested for what I truly feel.

To possess a High threshold of tolerance:

Intuitive vulnerability
Authentic volatility
Organic in truth
Raw yet private

Avaliable emotionally
Awareness to your self promise of honesty.

Accessing Vocabulary in a meaningful way.

Soldiers of God

Human error can be an absolutely fatal thing.

It leads to accident.
And by accident you come across,
Your suspension of disbelief.
Thanks be to the soldier of god
Who I came across as a homeless man.
He commented on my vibration.
And this was to me my power.
The issue is I have this force of nature
And I correct the problem of human error.
I want to go to the place I once died.
It is there where I am unafraid.
So unafraid.
And so to embark on this journey,
I feel a terror inside.
Once I thought such stupor...
Is my power.
And somehow now I am unafraid.
It is a war in my head.
Where living in a world I feel disarmed
Is a rarity to me.
Too much of a good thing
Is not a good thing to waste.
And that's what makes us all soldiers of God.
That this accidental death of us all would one day
Mark human error.
What are laws without punishment of this primative pastime.
I like feeling in my comfort zone
Looking out the window....
A contender!

This my retreat into faith.
Sparks flying and my ears I feel are burning.

The legend of Sacrement

It is a parody of particual judgment,

That in any of ones affairs ones compass points toward
Calculated movements.
As these movements become conspicuous.
So conspicuously crafted into mind,
That these mind tunnels take you through a
well thought out conscious effort
as how to get carried away.
My imagination pronounces its disappointment.
To break through the barriers of racist ideology.
So not purged upon.
But how intent you are to correct the kind of thinking,
That has no true religious aspect of it.
Religion has its own purpose to intervene with how the mind should function.
It is my personal philosophy that seeks truth however!
And even or odd,
Odd or Even...
Off or not on.
On or not off.
I think I saw her ingenuity in a heartbeat.
The virgin mother never dies in us.
We are always present in our mother's loins.
So through all of this.
I don't know what to say.
All I do know is my father who art in heaven,
Travels upward on this Hill - not down.
And as I reach this pinnacle.
At the height of this hill.
It rains like milk from heaven.
Expect this milk is not white in substance.
It rains black.
It rains in black.
And cleanses me.
My skin feels rejuvenated.
My soul feels it even more so.
And all of the sudden you go cold.
Cold in the milky substance that rains.
Back to a time you will always remember,
How your tears were made by God's hand.

I refuse to be purged upon for being racist, sexist or prejudice.
What connects all these things?
Not that we are consumers of god's unearthly image.
What is class conscious.
I will not be treated minimum wage.
I will not fear being discriminated against as second class.
What I pray for is to be a creative class conscious of individuals.
I will only tap the surface of the forehead.
It is a forceful nature hidden beneath the shadowless recess of my mind.

The Puzzle Factory

I feel a touch incandescent in the mastery of my comfort zone.

Alone in the recess of love.

I think of clues - in the crossword of life
All so uncarelessly crafted.
Struggle vs suffering
Is drudgery.
The drudgery of my misbehavior.
My skull starving for salvation...
My phantom Juliette (is what I call her....)
To whom I feel emptiness on the inside.
I just can't describe.
This monkey on my back,
About a secret unclaimed.
Magically magically present in my loneliness.
An Angel falling...
Falling...
Cheating gravity.
In this the place I am at peace.
Where nothing torchers me.
Where time passes as time terminates my fears.
Light spent all my own.
My mind combining my spirit with memory.
Finding a cemetery to land.

Beauty in the dark nature of romance

You can fake everything but your feelings.

I feel I've been going blind.
Because I regulate everything.
Even when depression hits.
It's a protest of hostility hidden deep inside of me.
How does one find the pretensious world as it surrounds you.
It is a cause of perpetuity.
Where everyone wants to last forever.
It's a toxic environment filled with a host of black flies buzzing around...
They make those zooming sounds.
Zooming zooming around.
Dead in your ear drum.
You could swear they just die in there.
A rotten death.
Where flies enter never to come out again.
So how I regulate things is not by death.
But by mourning.
Somberly so.
Such striking design.
Where intelligence meets its end.
And nothing appears equal.

We are all this shallow and you don't know how.

How alive you can be without necessarily feeling it.

Or isn't it another propositional form.

How can you feel alive without everyone else agreeing.

I am unsure which of which is more alluring.

Maybe never.

The smell of Brandy or your refined taste of (romantic) language in thought.

The small yet skinny fortune of your physical figure.
The luxury of a dollar store and everything in it.

Fire flies in the face of reason dancing at night, defining the recession of your true god like nature. I like it here.

And the abnormal nature of dying...
What is alone living your own heroic death without romance...
Are the final thoughts of my final resting place will be...

(Though I wish everyone knew it.)

This the hearts of hopeless romantics...
A sadder story never told.

My mind is drunk on it.

Against a psychic that won't lie.

Immortality in accusing gods imprisonment

If we are not all prisoners of God in God's mind then what is which you see makes you relate to that stated prejudice. My answer is we are aimless according to a phantom blueprint. There is no master plan. Only your self wonder.

Everything you outwardly express travels inside-out into your brain's circuitry. Therefore, this is true of how you impress your disbelief in the things you attribute to real life. What we fail to perceive as God given.

My disbelief in God would appeal to a prejudice in that our God would struggle with. Would it not.

To be gods prisoner if God experienced a life on earth. Makes us all mortals. If we are not affiliated to gods purpose then prejudice is man made proposition. Such is logic and dialectic. Divinity is that we are gods prisoners in God's mind. As if we were imprisoned.

The divine dialect can only be driven in pursuit of a liberating god. One that imagines god in prison for a crime god didn't commit. This is no different than informing yourself of prejudice to gods name. You are not a lie in gods imagery of that nature.

Mr clairvoyant

I have an ear ache.

My grandmother is here.

In my ear.

She lives in my ear.

In fact she has, lived in my ear since its birth.

The ear is a fascinating place to be.

Especially because it never leaves your mother's womb.

The most defined part of where it hurts the most. What it feels like to cry because it hurts so so much.

The aforementioned state of my personal psychometry.

My grandmother gave this to me. 

She was born with telepathy from the gods. 

Forever my Birthday

 I am the stranger you never met.

If you're playing dead ...

Are you not reading my mind.

There is no psychological disturbance

Because all I do is stimulate 

You.

Stimulating me.

Stimulating you.

As I sleepwalk through the day.

Void of all inhibition.

The last decimal

 

Sitting in the hot baked grave,
Deep beneath the hot hot sun.
The great waves upon waves echoing.
As it echoes in my ear drum like a spiraling
Masterpiece of sound shaped like a sea shell.
I hear everything I can.
The traces of my mind linger.
In this house built without windows.
Where would I be without you under a different solstice,
Where the past consumes me....
Where the future rests.
And the eyes of the Holy ghost preside in me.

NeoLiberal feminist ideology

I found this to be a good working definition of right wing feminism.

Nature of language vs racing thoughts

If that nature of language exists in a vacuum.

Autocracy 🇺🇸 2020 July

If I had the skills to combat the evil autocracy that trump has imposed under martial law I would. What these cowards in uniform are doing not without obeying Trumps orders is abhorrent and shamefully exorbitant. How can these militants look in the mirror for these actions. These are peaceful protestors for an honorable cause.

Unbelievable. The excuse using Military action is that protesters cannot use equal force. Which is besides the point. What Trump is doing is illegal.

the as if

Acting is cathartic.

What you perceive intellectually is a spell you are under. The impression of an intention you inevitably invariably internalize a dialect. The goal is to experience it into an emotion.  You learn to maneuver through it while living the part.

Manipulation and its perverse reality ¥ predicating the spiritual as visible

Divinity in nature is predicting the invisible or impregnating thought predates knowledge.

Psychic activity is logic dictating everything god wanted you to know about.

Our consciousness/perception evolve through story.  When a person writes a story (living the part) they are emulating the method of nature.

We have character (that is you) the character arc (change of your perception of reality) caused by the conflict in the plot (your life).

Yes. Nature ¥ (you can call it gods will) creates the conflict.

How does one question the achievement of desire....equate to the acquisition of divinity in nature.  Can gods will be free of conflict. Is that the force of which nature becomes.

My own desire is not only to know myself but to lay in it while I wait for the blueprint to dry.  That defeats how my personal slavery is a lie born to freedom from design which is honored. That means if our desires were calculated or prewritten in stone my slavery would atone for it.

With respect to salvation, the spirit, its believability... The one

The same purpose to commit murder can be found in an act of suicide or perhaps the basis for philosophy can be as morbidly thought in attaching the position of a philosopher's. Can salvation  be defined as such. The very purpose of how salvation is interpreted into transforming your third dimensional life into a forth dimensional form of being. Transcending the idea of heaven as you walk among the clouds.

There is no answer. The answer to provide purpose itself can only be in the capacity that you find salvation. All growth is is salvation working around you. Reality you present is a conspiracy no one else sees but you.

So this is the best working idea or definition of what salvation is not.

To no end

I am the face. The power of God. I use my mask to cover it. But I only choose carefully to reveal it from time to time. I recently found out about a serious issue surrounding my uncle who has been diagnosed with cancer. He taught me what the true meaning of being one with God is.

In all of that he unmistakably showed me what my life is worth simply by the love he carried for me (found only in his heart.)  He put the fear of God in me. He made me feel weak based on the kind of love he had empowered me. To no end. And because of this I know all of it as true.

My favorite uncle! His name is Anibal Martins. His fire as fierce as the heart of a lion's. I possess this on most days. The heart of such flesh and blood. His worst  enemies were too afraid to admit they were and if you crossed that line between him and God.

It is a line you better be prepared to cross.

An approach to Feminist ideology

Feminists on the far right typically use austerity only to make members of the opposite sex feel oppressed and unimportant. It is not an example of a feminists ability to manipulate or persuade who they target. Feminists in this case make victims under their own false pretense.

Once a feminist has an agenda that agenda changes every moment they feel uncontrollable neutrality. This absurdist hot take on feminist agenda is based on their marriage to tolerance and inequality.  To take responsibility for their own actions which makes for extreme division.

The instinctive approach to feminist ritual is to seek individual worship in place of resistence toward them. These are tactics or strategically placed signals that combine a feminist ideology of its far right approach.

I am an anti feminist by nature although a true feminist fight in search of equality. It is a non existent lie. Equality is unconditional and should not be associative of gender based bias. That is a definitive difference to change culture of one's mind.

On Trump's dictatorship ( a synopsis into Martial Law its misuse)

Trump is threatening his own people using martial law. Funny if he even realizes what taking that action means. He literally wants to incite violence. It's martial law that strategically is useful to haphazardly influence respect to common law where use of force is prohibited.

Canada has seen this intent used in situations like both the Oka crisis and October crisis in Quebec. Canada does not purport to violence as a means. Trump's blindness is what is scarier to be witness.

Allow me to clarify: common law is what strictly prohibits the use of force as a means. This I think in terms of Martial Law should Martial Law be invoked should not enable violence to the public domiain against its own citizens criminally reprehensible due to false cause.

This means in no way should governmwnt intervene using martial law with a ploy to legitimize violence against its own people.

Martial law is all about who blinks first and in what fashion. The FLQ were a home grown terrorist group from which Pierre Trudeau invoked martial law (war measures act) during the 1970 October Crisis. It is curious to me as to what motive behind placing martial law is a faction.

If I understand martial law which marks its use in the disguise of absolute force on its intended targets. Follows martial law which is synonymously linked to impose lethal force if in case necessary. This is highly questionable under what provisions martial law is exhibited.

Trump's aims are violence at any cost which implies a breech of laws in order to be upheld will not be recognized by due justice under a judiciary. The causation from which martial law is implemented has to do with the authority which upholds it.

So instituting martial law can be deemed as criminal in the hands of unilateral action based on the underlying motives from which it is enabled. Trump is acting as a criminal in welding such spoiled tactics.

Epistemological equity

I think Trump is the least charismatic unreal untrustworthy scoundrel that anyone supporting him typically associate themselves as criminals who have the right to vote. The constitution of the 🇺🇸 are amendments not rights.

This means people that characterize themselves as equal toward others care about their rights of each individual. Whereas amendments allow for bureaucratic alternatives through a scope of provisions that only project sovereignty onto its populous.

Not necessarily to uphold your right under law as equals. That is a huge discrepancy according to how people behave and conduct themselves under a constitution made of amendments. Therefore, it is flawed. Amendments are NOT classified as rights which are protected under laws are.

The Canadian Charter of Rights & Freedoms give a guarantee that should each individual have rights they are held as equals where you can act as a free individual. The amendments of the US constitution has no such thing and limits or contradicts your understanding of basic rights.

It is because of this contradiction that US bases its laws insofar as it dissents.

There is a good argument to be had in favor of Canada's model to a constitution which was drafted under Pierre Trudeau's watchful eye. It is singlehandedly the most visionary piece of working laws that motivate the human condition. Conservatives and Republicans are the same.

Democrats in the 🇺🇸 are basically liberal minddd individuals incubated into a bad model known as amendments. Democrats fight for your freedom to choose. Republicans fight to maintain status quo on no uncertain terms. In other words they take advantage of what the weak can't have.

Amendments of the 🇺🇸 constitution was drafted so not to displace the powers that be so they can act according to wealth as opposed to virtue.


Happiness is not a virtue nor is it a choice made according popular belief. Happiness gravitates if and only if there is a positive element that occurs. The truth of which should be regarded as equal but not equal to its basic form.

Basic happiness is a dualistic version of sovereignty. Sovereignty denotes happiness. Happiness can only occur as result of how individuals treat others as equals. Hitherto the same holds true or false on what classifies as happiness.

What can be true for you may not be true for others and vise versa. What can be true for others may not be true for you. This debatedly acquires knowledge as happiness so as if each individual is granted their free imunity to act as equals.

An observation manual

How do I know.
What makes me think of myself as an expert.
Where did I acquire this type of self awareness.
Have I imagined it all.
Is it only a lie.
How do I live to tell it if not real.
There are no simple answers into
Conducting a greater reality.
A higher state of consciousness.
Why would possess this kind of knowledge.
When does the good future reveal itself to me.
That is the difference between a phenomenological
Perspective and the nature of being.
You can try to tell a story with a bad ending.
Something tragic that happened in the back of your mind.
But you keep it private.
Because only you can weigh the scale or dream state
That translates the minds chaotic order from disorder.
All of this will make perfect sense that sleeps.
And once in this higher order
You decide to decode the world am I surrendering too.

That the object you conceal from the rest of the world
Is far more greater then what that vibration gives off.

I speak of ambiguity.

I change the pattern of thought entirely to suit
My own needs of recollection to the story.

It is how you build that story with clues about observation.
And that that observation provides proof of nothing ordinary.

It just comes and goes as it perspectively announces your arrival
In a secret form.

That's right....

You arrive in a secret form on the same day you were born
And the story of that day interfered with your mothers.

A very very powerful perspective.

One that specializes in coming to live life's miracles.

What is the object you provide observation to.
What miracles with you did you possess in transforming yourself
Without changing the same story you've imagined.

Where in the story didn't mention a lie.
The lie of living your best life,
Have you lived it as.

You imagined all of it.

Adding science to a fault.
Where your inhibitions deviate and gather prejudices
Of your mind kept hostage.
Your body in a make believe cage.

Where is your castle.

That right there is a question worth asking.

You built yourself a cage instead of a castle.
The whole time you are carrying the key.

In game theory we presume our own innocence.
Because competitively we may not survive.
So we block ourselves completely benevolent of cause.

This is the higher state of consciousness.
Where you may have experienced solutions to problems.
Only may.

To think objectively is not to make example of critical thinkers.
Critical thinkers are simply sinners gone past a method of inquiry.
The family of thinkers that preceded you.
Where the object interferes with no clear experation day.

You live to tell your story as an ambassador to the greater
Wealth of those that you take advantage of.

You must not take for granted fear from falling.

No one likes being taken advantage of.
Much like the narrative I am in explanation of here.

There inverting my own certainty,
Where logical formulations lead to definitive conclusions.
And then there uncritical thinking.
The kind that thins into detail of diabolical self illusions.

To speak abstractly is a gift that radically transforms your mind.
You learn to descramble language in a way that maneuvers.

Certainty vs critical thinking...
Which one is not up to you.

Is it true or is it false.
They are different.
One concerns validation.
The other may be something more or less abstract.

This is not unimportant.
Because these are things which demand inquiry,
On some level thoughtful in mind.

How the nature of everything that's intended
Is whether or not related.

Game theory is a theoretical question which demands
A processing of induction.
Logical in principle
To help you explain conclusions which are probable
Based on the evidence itself.

What is wealth.

Solar Circuitry

If my mind were poisoned
And that causes words to lose
All their meaning.
Where is this well of magic to help
Reinvigorate the senses.
At what point could any language become
So obsolete.
Where you brand the worlds wisdom 
As esoteric by trade.
Like a corn at the ball of your foot,
Or thorn on your side.
As I silently observe from outside
My purple box of emotions.
What will I not see come the future.
What will I be missing.
Again asking what would be of names
If words had no meaning
And that those words carry codified
Information.
Have I said too too much or too little.
My brain is scrambled.
With what is safest way to remain silent.
What sound does a great secret kept
A great secret make.
I would say bringing art to life
Is about seeing life in the art.
And to observe how one operates.
Where we are or who we are
Should never really matter.
Even in a world without 
borders.

Are we not all just a bunch of persuasive
Puppeteers
Hanging on to suspense and intrigue
That we turn into great masters
Of words that have no meaning
Understood only as in basic information.

What is in store for us when we wander.
That is the only real explanation to everything
Even if not gods creative intent.

Not are we slaves to reason like the ancient philosopher's
Once thought of.

Instead, what if the language we've learned to decipher
Were merely symbiotic.
What if we thought of words not as we mean them,
But were magically described to us as if by the very 
Same nature or structureless idea of God given
Intention.

As if to speak of worship but without relationship to prayer.

And what if words just disappeared,
Not to be forgotten but ceased to exist
Into an abyss of emotions where your mind had
No control over.

Wouldn't that be lovely.

The habit of self destruction

I am not a bad person. 

That each good bone in my body, 

Wanders.

Even so, if I have on a good day, 

Nothing to hide. 

My own self reflection is visceral. 

Of an antiseptic nature. 

The practice of wisdom 

Which I am not waterproof 

That my mind and body 

Melt away. 

I am the great flow of energy 

Much like the sun beaming 

How so is my spirit. 

My fire burning. 

I sleep in around the fire.

Where my dreams are made. 

I am the fire. 

I am the earth's wind land and water. 

I am the energy that flows through me. 

I am rapid. 

But - but please baby please

Don't worry. 

Because that is when I feel things get 

Blocked. 

Only happiness ensues. 

I feel beauty to this.

It's not hard to do.

It's adult time

Stay in touch with your creativity.

Come join me for some wine.

And I'll stay in touch with mine. 

No Mind

No mind
Hidden truth
Hidden language
It all will make sense.
I am.
I have the ego to be an actor.
Look at me sideways, 
A type of high voltage
To think of as art.

Stones & God's love

Vintage Krishnamurti

The Ego

J Krishnamurti

How do I look

Do you pass virtue without seeking judgment.
The safest distance between us.
I guessed wrong so what happens to me now,
what's suppose to happen next.
I had almost saved her life...
Although now it's the silence that's different.
How honest the effort.
How comforting the approach.
How appealing that step forward.
Count me out.
Such novelty.
The noble lie.
Please - please -  please
Don't count me out.
It's all kept buried inside me.

Dark Crystal

Efficacy
Fear based reality
The deformity of love
Machine guns...
And the incredulous inner critic.
All in the uniformity of life.
Probability and disambiguation.
What if all the angels just disappeared.
And you landed on a planet with silver skies,
Where there is no fear of whether or not god exists.
I am a man of the cross,
And all those who make that sign,
I will follow.

Acting notes

August 28th 2019

Social anxiety masked
Choices
Visual vs Auditory learning

Edgy
Not faking happiness
Tune me out
Refuse to go where I may want to but feared it instead.

Horse riding concept
Details authenticity

Surrender

September 11th

Defense mechanism (feeling is the gift of perception)
Release your inhibition
Are the words coming out from you real. (Internalization)

September 18th 2019

Intent
Knowing the role you portray

September 25th 2019

Owning the moment not living in it.
Holding space through freedom and openness
Professionalism
Emotional sophistication

Act like you know who's watching you.

Intent is not thoughtlessly

October 2nd 2019

Believability of choices
Intent courage bravery
What is acting
What is magic
What is wisdom
Living in your body

October 9th 2019

Patterns shifting
Compromise

Out of comfort zone

Revolutionary Manipulation

Centered freedom
Comfortable in your own skin
Cutting strings

Living in Winnipeg is thinking outside the box.

November 6th 2019

Self conscious
Being present in the moment
Being in touch with your child self

Authenticity
How do you get to belief in the character

Acting is not pretending to be somebody else having an actors experience.

November 13th 2019

Comfort in your skin
Coming from a place of truth
Fakery
Being scared of auditioning

Everything is new. Nothing is stupid.


December 4th 2019

Intensity
Internalization

Being present in time supersedes judgment.

Unapologetically me.

Selling out to alpha country.

You have nothing to prove to anyone.

Chip on shoulder, some people need to be knocked off their thrones.

Manipulate. Shift. Master yourself.

Authenticate.

Lose control.

December 17th 2019

Defense mechanism
Shutting down
Insecurity
Conscious of mental states in shifting

Coping mechanism
Intellectually internalizing

Focus on humility

Faking it
Moving energy
Centered in truth

December 18th 2019

Connect
Be in your body
Commit

Raw power
Monster energy when you think of a mouse.

Strengths
Weaknesses

Neurotic

Being instinctive is being
Social cues

Acting is being greatful for what you have.

As real as real gets.

January 29th 2020

Authenticity vulnerabilty
Dramatizing

Personal space
Boundaries
Safety in expression

Fakery is false only when you stop make believing it's true.

Artistry in self expression is sacred as much it is ancient.

Heroic personality
Eliminate the need for a comfort zone.
Do not cheat the feeling. Chase it.

February 5th 2020

Personal growth
Breakthroughs


February 12th

Emotional availability
Listen
React

Image
Expression
Response

I'm not going to feel bad about myself in things out of my control. I'm just going to keep bettering myself in my ability to create.

February 18th 2020

My anxiety shuts me down.
John Bernard
Sean Garrity
Gary Yates
Noam Gonick
Guy Maddin

Dave Brown is the gun safety guy who tries too hard.

How do you learn to break patterns of convention or rules based reality.

The power of intention needs to be human.
The power of an intention that feels human.


Making a difference is far different from just being useful.

Killer sexuality or psychosis

Denial from freedom.

Hope is a psychic type of retrieval unworthy of something that is never going to happen.

Acting is a diabolical illusion in the form of a power dynamic.

The feeling between being used and having loved is where true freedom lies.

February 25th 2020

Look at me I'm out of control. Good or bad.
I want you to like me.
Let it go.
Realign
Celebrating life what is the secret to it.

April Wine

When my intelligence is insulted 

It is only because I have the solution

That No one else knows about. 

I feel sick hiding behind 

The real nature of my intensity. 

Catch and release

My fragile shadow
To abide and to edify. 

Emotional Pausing

What if I were to fake my death.
Upon which comes a time,
Where nothing else matters.
As if we are all just cartoon characters,
In this happiness of mind.
Where I miss your wisdom.
The shapes and sounds of how
Well I listen.
Empowering me to live life as a decree.
There are no fluffy parts...
None good or bad.
That the most rational cause for success
Is that there is none.
There is no moral absolute.
No antidote freedom from which freedom creates.
That to survive courage,
Is not the courage to survive.
Unlike the cowardly lion.
Such a poor poor metaphor.
For real life is only an
Anomaly.
Once it is done.
You too are gone.
Awaiting your nemesis upon arrival...
But never does.
The absurdity of a secret so profound.
Only punishable by moonlight.
Shoes I love to wear.
That is the art of the dance.

Press Enter

What is magical thinking.
It seems to go unnoticed.
Those superficial motives.
The kind where that killer ego,
Says I am and you are not.
The kind that connects the dots,
In some state of delirium.
That tells you nobody is better.
That tells you how extrodinary you are.
It's not about saying or doing.
But looking at the stars and
Searching for freedom between them.
Am I in control or without.
Am I unlucky or not.
To live in vain is to exhibit your character,
In some way that the soul has adopted
Wisdom as a choice.
And that wisdom is unbroken unchained.
So next time I think I am better for it.
Will it be because I offered my virtue
Ahead of my own unfound denial.
And my love for sweet
Champagne.

Act till you die

The words are coming so here is more:
TRUST
When the eagle flies he doesn’t first wait and wonder if his wings will support him. He simply launches upwards and trusts, knows, believes he will take flight. And he does.

So many times we hover in fear, dwelling upon the what ifs. Giving great power to the fear. Allowing it to direct our lives and hoping we will be safe.

It takes great courage to trust, in the universe, God, life, fate, whatever you wish to call it. Even greater courage to believe that you are okay, you are taken care of. Maybe not always to your liking, but you are.

Take the time to be still, meditate in your way, go inside and ask the questions that concern you. Listen. The guidance and help you need is all there. Deepen into your Self and knowledge will flow.

Often, it takes a lifetime of challenges, conquering fears, falling victim to them, before we come to a place of knowing. All is as it should be. We are okay.

The ability to trust is a real thing that we must embrace. It comes to us when we have ceased to try to fix things with our mind and allowed a greater knowing to be present and move through us.

Trust is the antidote to fear.

Currated by Shea Hampton
Suported by DAG

Sounds of the Afterlife

I no longer hear the sound of frogs in a distant past. 

I can no longer hear the frog. 

Ribbit 

Ribbit 

But how has language become what we know of it. 

And how is it different. 

What will change us. 

Wherever the end of the light is. 

That is where I'll be. 

If time were a gift

If time were a gift... 

Nearing the dark recess of my mind. 

I would tell people how I love. 

How intent I am. 

How my dreams are made.

It would tell of a great many things, 

Surrounding the heart. 

And in my heart of hearts, 

Everything feels new. 

Like a renewed sense of faith. 

The kind of unconscious absurdities you strongly 

Strongly believe in or not. 

I, a certain type of character 

This world will never truly know. 

Interesting find circa 2013ad

Anamorphic Identity

How you chase god is a magical question.
What if we are already at the end of time.
What purpose does that serve.
Is god our equal or are we not equal.
Is all that god is our intentional being,
Where many of us are dreamers,
And whether or not equal to gods intention.
I make mention to this question,
That if God is our intention are we his equal
Or simply independent of god.
Does God see, and if god does see us....
Are you independent of god or does god consider you an equal.
Can I consider God as my equal.
As true as true to my virtue.
To God's intention as true as true to my intention.
This is where God must dwell.
This is where God passes judgment.
This is where I dwell.
This is where God whispers in my ear.

The ultimate of God's anamolies....

Does God think of us as an equal or independent.

My hypothesis is if you consider yourself as independent from the will of god you also do not believe in god as an equal. Therefore, if god is your equal you are a servant of gods will. Independence is not a model that we all fit under only because we say so.

Unintention

Superstitions of a superhero

Superhuman superstitions
When I get to have everything I ever wanted,
Will my old habits have died.
I cannot allow myself to act on superstitions.
That is the habit I learned to contract most.
Because most people carry them,
to only switch roles,
So the imaginary capes may be worn.
Such garments and robes to convey
Strength status and power.
False alter egos cannot truly break your heart.
My ears burn.
My throat pulsates.
Tears to put out fires of the heart.
And happiness on a whole other level.
In my nature lives a vortex of emotions.
They stream in through thoughts of veneer.
And what is the nature of thought then.
Then it is nature.
Nature that dictates your reality as mine.
Those are superstitions.
They remain the same true or false.
Because where thoughts are born,
Fascinates me.
Thinking out loud the greatest lie ever told.

Sitting at Stella's

I am seated at Stella's
Contemplating my life's journey.
I find my peace and sanctuary here.
This cafe's aroma.
Dare I feel special about such things,
In a deepened sense of space and time.
My power is to have myself both be recognized
And not be recognized.
Bravely bribing my own alter ego.
This beautiful beautiful night.

Acting is Being

Manipulating the beliefs of the character fiction resulting in choices and authenticity.
Truthful
Unreserved
Believe what you are saying.
Feeling what the character is.
Freeing

Albert Camus

https://perdidasmusas.blogspot.com/2017/03/existentialism-myth-of-sisyphus-albert.html?m=1

Friendship as a Confession

I must say...
Disrespect is the ultimate illusion.
I find myself in a definitive demographic.
Where my senses meet virtual reality.
A place where in my most sacred sense,
I have a theory about almost everything.
A sad place in my heart that hurts, but
Does not want to hurt back.
After death comes my funeral,
I wonder - I wonder.
How - how will I be remembered.
It becomes a question.
Of what am I made.
Whereas, in this sad place in my heart.
At what point did friends become strangers.
In this predicament...
Who are (or in this case were)
My real friends.
The kids who years passed...
Do not pretend to forget you,
But fail to ignore you.
Instead, those you once thought
Had your back.
Now treat you like a complete stranger.
Rather than find peace in your company.
Now that we've become adults.
That fake filter consumes you.
Not like that before.
My insides turn.
Before you turned me off.
What a poor poor defense mechanism.
Now we're no more.

Rights of Passage

There is something missing in me today.
I've had strange dreams lately,
The kind where I disappear.
Then I reenter from one place to the next.
It seems I am lost.
More so a feeling of being lost.
Lost never to be found somewhere in a distant past,
Just wanting to hold on but it feels impossible to.
As warped and morbid as this sounds...
I find peace here.
And that is all I can be.
Is a warrior of peaceful thoughts
And the victory of mind.

Precision and its Density

Precision and its Density

I'm not a gambler, but for myself if I must say so not being a gambler would imply I refuse to bet against the odds.
The truth is I bet against myself more often than I gamble.
But gambling is nothing.
Nothing more than an investment gone terribly bad.
So gaming to me is a very fragile thing.
I am not much of a player.
I've had too much to overcome.
Maybe it's a cause of having been unconsciously programmed into being.
So now that I presumably know that about myself,
an answer is less trivial.
However,
upon this metaphysical journey of mine,
maybe I am just a sinner at heart.
Corrupting my soul....
Is an unhealthy exercise.
Though putting my soul on fire.
That is a question worth the gamble.
The game has its odds.
And I always bet against myself.
Because everything has a reward.
The devil has ways of orchestrating it.
Although my many demons I have met,
never truly owned me.
They are physical enough entities that I feel
the betrayal from winning and losing.
And I have never been either of these things.
I prefer the animal kingdom.
Where in my trial and error,
my feet are a blaze.
And the game changes almost metaphorically,
metaphysically lying to myself.
Conscious of betting against myself, constant.
Wondering where I went wrong.
In this messy messed up life.
The attempt to defend myself - as it hardens,
is not an assassin looking at himself in the mirror temporarily speaking.
This soul I set on fire.
I want to know what that feels like.
I want to.
To set my soul on fire.
Watching me gamble from afar.
Though no greater distance between a devils romance.
Like fire in my soul.

Parmenides

Parmenides

The art of privilege

Aristotle causation & being

aristotle-causation-and-being

Absurdity & Deviation

This is a very powerful and endearing prophecy for an actor. I have figured this out for myself and the mystery in becoming the kind of actor I want to be in search of truth. The truth is in the action. My brain assembles information in a way that painters paint a picture. And I refuse to judge myself on this. I disarm those who are critics vs the minds eye.  Such feelings I get are enamoured in my pursuit of modelling my coat of armour. That is for what people want to see on screen. What people want to see is what you do as an actor makes the audience feel like they are right there with you.

I am intent on reserving myself as a way of reflection in the work I do, which means I will not fake acting under any circumstance.

Last night Onalee put us through a meat grinder type of audition where we had one chance to make it count.  I took it as a learning moment. You don't have the immunity to do your scene until you get to point you've nailed it. That is the hardest part. Trying to uncover the layers between you and the character in a meaningful yet authentic manner.

As I was doing my pretend audition I felt myself wanting to take risks in the product of my character. Once I felt something my brain couldn't process, I fogot the line and I drew blank. In my mind I wanted to do something relative to the moment and I wasn't able to produce the movement behind my intent. This is a positive thing.

I am better aware of what making choices are. The result of the audition never materialized. I can find peace in myself and my acting. 

When I was asked how I felt about my audition I said it went great. On second thought I had more to be grateful for. It didn't work for the audience but in my mind it worked. You need to be desensitized from reality in order to respond to an inner life.
In finding yourself needs no particular thought process or belief system, so in acting it is more important you face the fear of acting in your personal life.  My fear to act dictates my whereabouts. Last night I knew all my lines but none of it matters in the end. In the end what matters is how hard you fail in life. Real life dictates your fears. Ultimately I failed last night. And that is the magic of freedom to act. To eliminate the fear and connect the dots.

In memory of future time

My life's purpose

Philosophy in the future of philosophy (probability)

Anything but a true genius will have their ideas lived because other individuals will copy it and present it as their own. This is the most common form of plagiarism.

The most basic way to defeat it is to think in terms of constant values being placed as though you plant fallacies of logic to be disproved. Once that happens and it stands the test of time that the idea cannot be disproved, you have in turn created history.

Mission statement

I have enemies because I've created a reality normal people don't associate with, or are out of touch with my  spirit child or are disconnected to me as an individual. That is my talent. I have issues but not out of the ordinary under the same conditions, so if you are a friend you'll know it.

Who I like is not up to me. It is through the use of my discretion I leave up for the person to decide under fair pretense. It is both intuitive and intentional. I know I am a good person with conviction. Aside from people's pragmatism which is out of anyone's control....

If you are some douche bag white trash idiot out to victimize others I will take exception. So innately you will feel me. Not test me.

Aristotelian ethics

aristotle-ethics