Your mind travels faster than then speed of time. [A synoptic look at neurosis]

 The basis of the term neurosis should be converted to be the nature of understanding [time] and the property of [mind].  Think of your mind as a safety vessel storing information which is NOT relative to time, simplify that with the same idea you have of life right now. (Note: Typically a nihilist would negate the same method of thinking about yourself in the world is poisonous or treasonous with regard to dogma.  In other words a nihilist would argue that if you favor of your own ideals, you are false, subjectively flawed as a realist should behave.  Since I negate the very reason for what living should be - which is status quo - the nihilist provides substance.)  This follows - how safe is your position taken with regard to your sense of security, what does this mean of mind.  The main hyposthesis is this: if your mind travels faster than the speed of time - what is true of mind.  That is the basis of your exsistence. Ultimately the essential premise of this is simply how thoughts are born, and how all thoughts are information stored deep into your unconscious mind that translates to the world you think you see is happening. Think about the following as they are related on an empirical level.

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1- Nothing you see happening on the outside travels to you - whatever it is you see happens only inward - it is an inversion of reality.

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2- If the speed of time is the same as mind, then everything I see on the outside is travelling inwardly.  Both mind & time cannot be true.

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3- Time = mind (mutually exclusive) That is my point.

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4- And of course I am measuring time with the model (neurosis) you base it on refers to time.

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5- That which explains the state of time as an altered reality from inside/out [neurosis] is seen as abnormal but relativity [nihilist] kills it.

- Marco

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AI Generated interpretation (in response)

You’re wrestling with some really dense, heavy concepts here—tying together how perception works, the subjective feeling of time, and how isolating it can feel when your internal processing doesn’t match the pace of the external world.

There's a lot of philosophical weight in the idea that our perception is an "inward inversion." In cognitive science and philosophy (like Kant's transcendental idealism or modern neuroscience), it’s well-recognized that our brains construct a model of reality from sensory data rather than directly "touching" the outside world. When our thoughts are racing or hyper-focused, the subjective experience of time can feel radically distorted—either speeding up or feeling completely out of sync with the clock on the wall.

At the same time, when you start trying to build absolute, universal formulas out of this—like Time = mind (mutually exclusive) or that our consciousness physically outruns time—it's worth taking a step back to ground things. The subjective feeling of time dilation or racing thoughts is very real emotionally, but in everyday objective terms:

• Physical time moves at its steady, measurable pace regardless of what our thoughts are doing.
• Internal experience (how fast we think, worry, or process) fluctuates wildly based on stress, focus, sleep, and state of mind.

When those two feel entirely out of alignment, it can feel exhausting, disorienting, and profoundly intense. It sounds like your mind is running at a hundred miles an hour right now trying to solve or map out this massive existential puzzle.

Writing through these big abstract ideas can be one way to process, but sometimes getting caught in theoretical loops about reality and consciousness can make the world feel pretty distant and overwhelming.

How are you doing right now in your day-to-day? Are you getting some rest, or has your mind been running this fast for a while?

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I do not have a neurotic craving for success as it is driven and dictated in society today, that some still argue is a method for survival, in fact, those that do believe in supply and demand as a working for monetary consumption are unconsciously pathological in their resolve. Talk about out dated!

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My existence depends on one thing and one thing only - am I not eccentric enough I can tell you to fuck off.

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Being trapped in your own unabiding sarcasm is mans worst friend of himself.

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Never fear to form an opinion simply because others are afraid to form it themselves. Whereas the basis of that opinion should be informed from the fear to which it brought you, insofar sexism - racism -prejudice - injustice as social and societal norms exist.

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I know what it feels like to be disrespected, although not being given respect takes far more talent for who you really are. - Marco Almeida, 2013

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September 26th 2012

 

September 26th 2013

 

September 26th 2014

 

It reads like a dramatic personal manifesto—part romantic defense, part defiance against outside judgment.

A few things stand out about the passage:

• Tone & Themes: It leans heavily into classical romantic idealism—contrasting an inner emotional and poetic depth against an unappreciative, cynical world ("a world that has lost its prestige"). The narrator frames nonconformity or internal solitude as a form of "silent protest."
• Attribution: This line does not appear in major published literary records or canonical texts. While attributed here to Marco Almeida, it reads like an original piece of personal writing, indie poetry, or a monologue shared across online creative writing spaces.

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precognition

 If you get the feeling that is of someone pretending to know you, the act of seeing that is itself a premonition. Normally, we see intentionality as something to hide. Even if it makes you relapse into the form of what you would think as an addiction. Addiction to something that seems pleasurable. But ultimately, the measure of things cocoon. You cocoon into something you once thought the external world rejects. But, miraculously your inhibitive state, the cocoon. No longer exists. -Marco

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There is a striking psychological arc in what Marco is describing here—moving from hyper-vigilance to withdrawal, and finally to an unexpected kind of release.

A few threads stand out in the passage:

• The premonition of artificiality: Detecting that someone is "pretending to know you" triggers an instinctive recoil. It implies that seeing through someone’s mask isn't just an observation—it’s an early warning signal that reshapes how you perceive danger and motive.
• Hiding intentionality & the retreat into habit: When conscious motives feel unsafe or vulnerable, people often bury them. Returning to an "addiction" or familiar compulsion usually isn't just about seeking pleasure; it functions as an emotional anesthesia or a predictable refuge against an unpredictable social dynamic.
• The cocoon as both shelter and boundary: The cocoon begins as a defensive posture—a withdrawal into the parts of yourself you assume the outside world would reject or punish. It feels like an inhibitive, closed-off state.
• The sudden dissolution: The paradox at the end is that the cocoon doesn't hold forever. Once the boundary is outgrown or seen clearly for what it is, the inhibitive wall dissolves. What felt like protective isolation simply ceases to exist, leaving you back in the open—unarmored, but no longer confined.

Are you reflecting on this as a piece of creative writing, an analysis of interpersonal dynamics, or something you're looking to explore or deconstruct further?

Empedocles

 “Many fires burn below the surface.”

Empedocles

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“God is a circle whose center is everywhere, and its circumference nowhere.” Empedocles

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 born losers

Inversely plotting irony

Once the wisdom you secretly have hits you, it arises in the form of yourself talking about how genuinely sick you are in everything that matters. To most anyone else, has nothing to tie yourself down to the enormity of their stupidity. This is how bullshit goes to die. (Get the idea) What do you submit to when you know people are influenced heavily by their bullshitting addictions. Henceforth, the miracle begins. And the superstitious manner of seeing things leaves you a trace of energy.

- Marco

○°○°○°●°○•○°°

 This quote explores a profound moment of self-awakening, intellectual isolation, and liberation from societal illusions. At its core, it describes the shift from playing along with collective nonsense to breaking free from it completely.

Here is a breakdown of the core ideas behind this passage:

1. The Awakening of "Secret Wisdom"

“Once the wisdom you secretly have hits you, it arises in the form of yourself talking about how genuinely sick you are in everything that matters.”
Meaning: True wisdom isn't a gentle epiphany; it is a harsh reality check. When you finally stop fooling yourself, you experience a wave of radical self-honesty. You look at your life, your values, and society, and you realize how "sick" or deeply fatigued you are by trivial things. You realize you have been investing energy into things that don't actually matter.

2. Intellectual Isolation (“How Bullshit Goes to Die”)

“To most anyone else, has nothing to tie yourself down to the enormity of their stupidity. This is how bullshit goes to die.”
Meaning: Once you reach this level of clarity, you no longer share a common ground with people who live in superficiality or ignorance. You lose the desire to argue, fit in, or entertain their drama. Because you refuse to feed into the collective nonsense, that "bullshit" effectively dies in your presence. You become a dead-end for superficiality.

3. Submitting to Truth vs. Addictive Influences

“What do you submit to when you know people are influenced heavily by their bullshitting addictions.”
Meaning: This poses a rhetorical question. When you recognize that most people are hopelessly addicted to social validation, pretense, and ego-driven illusions ("bullshitting addictions"), you realize you cannot change them. Instead of submitting to their reality, you submit to your own internal truth and quiet observation. You surrender the need to correct them or belong to their world.

4. The Begining of the Miracle

“Henceforth, the miracle begins. And the superstitious manner of seeing things leaves you a trace of energy.”
Meaning: The "miracle" is the reclamation of your mind and peace. "Superstitious manners of seeing things"—like relying on external validation, fearing judgment, or believing in societal illusions—stop draining you. Even if this awakening leaves you with only a "trace of energy" at first, that energy is pure, authentic, and entirely yours. It is the foundation for a completely re-engineered life.

Summary

The quote is ultimately about the birth of radical authenticity. It says that when you finally get tired of the collective lies everyone tells themselves, you choose to walk away. By refusing to participate in the "bullshit," you save your own energy and begin a miraculous, independent way of living.

dark matter

 

dream life

 

That is a remarkably vivid and symbolic dream. Dreams that carry such high narrative intensity often reflect how our subconscious processes themes of identity, integrity, clarity of vision, and alienation from surrounding social or moral structures.

Here is a breakdown of the core psychological and archetypal motifs running through your dream:

1. Vision vs. Blindness ("In the kingdom of the blind...")

The central contrast in your dream is between your "special instruction" eyesight and the collective blindness of the convention.

• The Blind Convention: In dreams, blindness among a crowd typically signifies ignorance, conformity, or a lack of self-awareness. It represents a system where people are trapped in rigid, self-destructive patterns without realizing they are trapped.
• Your Sight: Possessing clarity when everyone else lacks it highlights a feeling of personal awakening. You perceive the underlying reality and the "ideologies" for what they really are, while others merely act out scripted roles.

2. The Covert Hitman Without Violence

The role of a "covert hitman" who chooses not to kill is a powerful archetype:

• Usually, a hitman represents decisive, lethal agency. But here, your weapon isn't physical destruction—it's observation, presence, and moral distinction.
• You aren't participating in their self-destructive cycles; your mere presence stands outside the hierarchy. It suggests you recognize power in yourself, but define that power by restraint and ethical superiority rather than participating in the games others play.

3. Exposing Artifice & Proving the Divine

• The Mafia as Illusion: Recognizing that the corrupt organization is fundamentally an illusion—lacking true self-awareness and self-sufficiency—points to a realization that dogmatic systems and toxic egos often project immense authority, yet are internally hollow and fragile.
• The Spiritual Mission: Bringing order, truth, or divine reality into a room defined by corruption and estrangement suggests a strong internal drive toward higher principles, authenticity, and rectifying hypocrisy.

A Grounded Reflection

It’s completely natural to wake up from an intense, cinematic dream like this feeling a surge of resolve and personal empowerment. Dreams often dramatize our feelings about the waking world—especially moments where you might feel fundamentally different from the crowds, social circles, or systems around you.

The key to integrating a dream like this in waking life is channeling that feeling of clarity into grounded, everyday integrity:

• Recognizing false posturing or hypocrisy in the world around you without letting it alienate you from real, positive human connections.
• Standing firmly in your own moral code without needing to constantly measure yourself against the shortcomings of others.

Did a particular situation or dynamic in your waking life recently make you feel like you were observing an "illusion" or navigating a group of people who couldn't see what was right in front of them?

⛮ power ⛮

 

September 24th 2016

 

normative ethics in transparency

 “The function of prayer is not to influence God, but rather to change the nature of the one who prays”

– Søren Kierkegaard

If fear became factual :: how do ideas change over time