I feel seriously out of touch with the beat of this generation. An explosion of perfect bodies, tattoos, slutty self imagery, king sized egos. I have come to realize how quickly things change in such a short period of time, and it forces me to wonder who am I.
================
A non egotistical smart man with self worth
==============
Thanks Ally. I do appreciate that.
I guess what I see in the world today - from a cynical point of view makes me a lot less tolerable. My mistake is... I compare myself to what may suggest (in my mind) falls further behind the beat of my own generation. This means I find myself subject to the world, in large part, being on the outside looking in. I wonder what it is I am missing.
I would go so far to say I fear the world we live in today. I never really thought about it reaching this point. But here I am.
Am I wrong in seeing this - for which I don't have the answer.
I feel like I am in over my head. I am spent emotionally, physically and mentally. Where I see myself today compared to twenty years ago - judgement has been passed as an expiration date. That is exactly how I feel right now, a man past his expiration. All I see are signs that reinforce my perspective that it fuels my prejudices.
I can't stand myself.
I dislike the idea that somehow my personal history has been clouded, as you have told me on some occasion, not to let what other people think bother me.
That's just it, the world I see today, is so full of competition I have no clue as to what's in it for me. I am so different from what I see is out there. If I didn't have friends like you, I don't know where I would be.
That's from where my thoughts first started, before you offered your response.
I have been waiting for a response from someone or something that interferes with my symbolic delusions, though I am not running around without knowing why.
It is either one of two things: I don't like myself and this is all my own fault or I must learn to accept myself and trust what I see is accurate but that it holds me back.
On average I am a decent human being. I am a person that has been misunderstood his whole life and in that time had been taken advantage of. All of this shallowness or what people accuse me of as self pity makes me come across as a victim.
=====================
And don't get me wrong there are people that I do admire with all my heart, I am not trying to say there is nothing good in the world. I am trying to describe how intimidated I feel.
No comments:
Post a Comment