A foundation of [sorts]

I have made the decision that requires;
all to have feelings. . .



To be honest with you - and for me this is not out of character. . . but my reasons for writing this as of now.

I'm giving up on the whole "fantasy" of being a movie star. I'm no longer taking Onalee's acting classes. I'm quite happy with my decision actually.

Really, I know I can be honest with you, because I now have realized the joke of paying for acting classes became for me. I really appreciate being the priest in your film, however.

However, I also believe that I gave myself the best opportunity as anyone else could have thought.

But what I really wanted to say is I feel like James Dean.

Thanks,

Marco



. . .it's nice to hear from you again. I'm glad you had such a nice dream. You're a great girl.

Things are: . . .I'm in uni. I want to finish my BA come the spring. Keeping my options open, you know?

. . . life is too short. Don't worry about "turning away from. . ." me! It was nice to have had the opportunity. It just didn't seem right for you at the time. But dreams do tell you something. I truly believe we had a connection and your dream illustrates that. I'm actually flattered. You show courage in teling me about it, because you can trust me, probably unlike most people you've otherwise had in your circle of life. I truly believe in that.

My life shows a tremendous parallel through journey/ and - a lot has to do with self-worth. I could see that about you as well.

The truth is: when I see distant people from my past (at present-time), this is that it reminds of a place I've become. We're both very idfferent then we used to be, and when we cross paths, there's a connection. Maybe it can't be explained? Maybe it can!? (i.e. be explained. . .)

But that is water under the bridge. It's out of our control what happened in the past (between us as recent acquaintances) or as friends only do from our distant past. The past is always a distant memory. . . yet sometimes it haunts us / if you know what I mean. You can't forget who you are in the process of becoming what you truly are meant to BE. Therefore, don't forget about me. Just remind yourself, I think you're pretty special. Thoughtful. Considerate. A lot of people can remind you of that.

I know in my experience, a lot of people don't understand me. . . that is my own experience. But you, . . ., are a part of that. I was looking for a partner at that time we met. I found one. Her name is Tanya. She's a fair bit younger at 21. I don't mind telling you though.

I guess what I'm trying to explain is a difference we had, that you might not be able to really put a finger on. The honest truth: I was very attracted to be with you physically. I was hoping we could share that and move on. You didn't think the same. I totally respect that. You did nothing wrong. Believe me.

The other side of my expanantion is that I wanted to get to know you. I like the spirit you give off. I still do appreciate how things worked between us as they did. However, obviously things were meant to happen for a reason. I know that the dream you had tells you more than you will ever know. You just need to take the chance.

You are beautiful, attractive, and you can be happy with someone you care enough about. Nothing can validate that for you - but you.

If I could relive that night we shared, I know I do feel good about it without any regrets. You see how that works? If more were to have happened, I'm sure we'd still be friends. I'd have wanted to share the sweat off our bodies. It's only natural. You needed the kind of assurance that's not all I wanted. I thought it's what we both needed. Not just me - physically. I maintain the fact you demonstrate what you feel is appropriate (at that time. . .) wasn't purely physcial but also metaphysical. Things just took a turn without you really knowing how to work it out.

Marco


From: <>To: marco_a__b_almeida@hotmail.com

Date: Sun, 15 Jan 2006 13:09:38 -0600

>I had a dream about you last night.

It could have even been Friday? > I don't really remember it. But somebody was introducing me to >somebody somewhere, and that somebody was you.>>I'm sorry I turned away the way that I did.>>I hope all is well with you.>>Take care,

. . .