I thought I knew what love was all along. The truth is I now know love cannot be true unless someone else does the same, without compassion love can only be indifferent to a cause.
My better wishes were not to marry between the age of 25-30 (any time before that is obsolete. . .) because I felt it was all too shallow.
I began my journey when I hit my 30's for that reason, I wanted my thirties to be the best days (not 'years') of my life.
As I now reach my 37th birthday I had no idea that love - what true love really is - is worth fighting for no matter how much more it feels difficult to find. The reality is if I am not enamored for who I am by another human being - I am perfectly happy not to engage in a superficial romance. This is the reason I decided against marriage in my 20's and well into my 30's to prove I had the right frame of mind rather than act as an opportunist.
I have been hurt recently by someone I thought had my best interests in mind. That was not the case.
It has shown me in the experiences from which I have had are trickery.
That unless you totally open your heart to someone, she does not have to do the same - which was wrong of her to do this to me.
I have never been so sad in my life, but I do know that someone out there might never deserve me for who I am.
Maybe that is what love is. The toughest love to find may only be because you know better along the way, and to me it is well worth something.
That me - I - am worth the wait.
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