the allergy for instruction

By no means am I a narcissist?
I only resume to reveal,
that sense of a thread
I possess.
Like threading a needle,
but it is my absence
that required.
Interestingly enough!
Though in conversation:
I had that feeling unknown about.
Though only I was not aware;
that the other person was.
Thye knew I hated - hated studying.
That was my problem in directing the conversation.
I did not become aware of what the problem was.
Through the main idea
that study is something I will not enjoy.
No matter what the circumstances,
I feel indifferent about studying.
So in conclusion
I was doing in conversation
what I rather should be doing
to avoid the objective as a choice.
I was unwilling to admit I did not want -
to study per se.
But when I do study,
I should remind myself
that I can do it well.
Studying is my motivation
- in this conversation.