"Survivor Guilt"

The day I turned 18, I was involved in an almost fatal car accident. The thought seems like yesterday; it was a moment I virtually escaped lucky to be alive. As I try to put these thoughts into perspective, today, I'm willing to say I've accomplished myself. Last year in finishing my university degree, and now working full time between 2 part time jobs. One is with Safeway and the other with my parents. The objectives are quite different: my job at Safeway, being, a type of playground for 'kids' that are my age when I first started university and held down a job part-time. As I can relate to that, I cannot relate to the fact these same "young adults" who're aspiring students in university, use Safeway as a place to parallel their habits at school. These employees, don't see themselves as employee's but rather call Safeway (as I referred the term: a playground). For their lack shaped identity, I can empathize with the construction of how seeing the world through their eyes deserves some credit. However, I am also a leader fo my own destiny, and my patience doesn't run thin per se. . . but its enlightened me. It tells me how far I've come. It reminds me of the person I've become, while going through university and the time and effort I invested into it. It took some of that energy in my experience and made things count.

As I prepare myself for my future, I do not wish to waste equality as an issue. The value I see in myself, I protect, with my family who've helped me realize my full potential.

I often forget why happiness is a choice? I'm quick to add how people, generally speaking, bury themselves, and their flaws. . . but no one is perfect! I tell myself to unplug the fear of isolation, threatens me. If I challenge it, I will do things necessary to keep it positive. Instead to digging a grave, and taking my sense of shame with me, I can release it. In order to reveal my true self, I must take the challenge in not burying the negative thoughts I may or may not consider seriously.

Bering self-motivated through ADHD, is a dedication I owe to myself with great success. I ask myself, to talk about making choices what is the cause behind making those choices. The influence I create over decisions in my everyday life are exteremely important to me.

As I prepare myself in moving forward, there is a sense of appealing to ignorance in others that have affected me. Most times, I've been misunderstood in feeling misjudged or treated unfairly.
Some examples I describe of are selfish desires, vaguely interpreted in their meanings, but nevertheless I can admit.

It was at Christmas with a family style gathering, that we were all invited to attend. I arrived with my parents and my sister to a friends house, which unfortunately didn't make me feel welcome. The last time I saw this person, was on my birthday, when we were in the same location at a night club. The individual in question did know it was my birthday, but didn't care to acknowledge me. The previous Christmas was when I saw that same unbenownst subject; with farmiliar face of another female from a New Year's Eve party whom I recognized was in attendance. The 2 left the house unannounced in a perturbed fashion.

The result of this leads me to believe how change in my life has later altered my perceptions of these events in time.

What once seemed trivial to me, now I understand how these are experiences that make me a better person. What once consumed me to the core I've reconciled in spirit within.