Tender Love and Care

When it comes to partaking in the ritual of loneliness? A lot for what it tells me of, is a sense of privacy. Respecting the privacy I have come to bare myself exposed!

Tonight started like any other night. I went my way out the door, and instead of beginning to elude where to go to next. I decided. I will rent a movie.

I did not know what to rent, that is no one else's job description. Easy enough of a job I can fulfill it. Though I never have enjoyed the fact, I set up more obstacles then are necessary. I am not very good at solving equations. But I digress. Mathematics is a principle like any other, you start with the lowest common denominator and work your way following the rules. For myself, the rules of indecision, have always played a part in finding out what the formula has to offer. There seem to be endless possibilities yet only one correct answer can withstand the test of time.

The test of time?

The test of time; so I was not as reassured of this moment. Whereas of this moment, my senses of failing ceased to exist. I usually frowned upon myself, trying to solve a math equation. There were rules and afterall if there are many rules I chose not to care. Too many rules: usually make me lose interest quicker than I care to demonstrate any actual knowledge. Everything has a time and place.

What about solving math equations, happened to draw closer to my interest of becoming less involved. Is an interesting story. You would think.

The question of mathematical equations, intrigues me to no end. Almost a kind of ethical dilemma or a moral code. The type of problem, only the mind can equate, dictate, and thereby formulate into a linear sequence of events. However, the true problem is clearer to me then ever before. What came after the big bang theory of mankinds evolution from the cosmos, or the mystery of unaware yet unknown existence of god.

My trouble in discovered the solution.

That's correct! I said, discovered. Not uncovered. The truth seems to me is an equation that always seems untraceable of facts or better yet? Better still! The truth seems to be not only unsolvable but deliberately poisoned into a well. A poisoned well? Yes, a ritual of people that don't care to sacrifice what the truth may truly be, because they are in fear of a more radical existence.

After the grateful explanation you are expected to gain, from no other like you, for that matter they choose not to talk to you based on this unexplained phenomenon of irresolvable paradox's.

My job here is to explain, that on no uncertain terms, people's language often abides to principles without the rules that became written to follow order that exist in this domain. The laws are written, but code of conduct have little justice in caring individuals that cease to exist on the same level.

Some contradictory messages that appeared to be equations, you must follow the rules to arrive at some form of a conclusion. The answer is traceable and simply you must follow rules.

I recall doing math in grade school, and something in my brain, not that it was I unincapable of performing equations. My thoughts were more astute on the method of getting an answer incorrectly. I would think ahead, after the equation would be done. I would look at my answer and ask myself, how can I trace back my steps, even if they are incorrect, but because I can solve them myself even if they are wrong to answer the question. The answer: math is not a question, it is a problem you must solve using rules that guide you. That I misunderstood, because in basic problem solving, questions and answers all looked the same.

I could not afford to believe that rules were made to be followed, unless they were equally as made to be broken. To follow the rules became something made out of necessity. To deduce from an equation, how to induce a proper answer requires a form out of the method you choose to work with. To that end, nothing can be decided without that metaphysical mindset.

So, the answer to question the equation now is, should I fight with myself as often as I would if the job of a man like every man were a slave.

A slave to mathematics.

I would be poor as a kitten. I would feel more not less patronized. So, I ask myself the next available opportunity I find, if someone were to offer me a correct method of answering questions. Someone might give me the power to predict or have predicted. Such as someone telling me, YOU KNOW ALL THE RULES. YOU PREDICT EVERYTHING. I KNOW NOTHING. NOW SOLVE IT. DO THIS FOR ME.

Such pity. What a pity to be a slave. The slave of denying yourself that chance, mixed with the opportunity to be something contradicted. If people everywhere acted in such a manner, every war, every ear would listen, to the sound of a war being fought where one man was needed to stop an entire army. That would be the sweetest sound of all.

Are we all slaves to this undying love of affection, or are we not being told we must fit the equation for our best interest.

The slave of denying yourself that chance, mixed with the opportunity to be something censored.

Only visionaries like myself can do the acting.

So again, I ask the question and answer through the will of my ability, cannot equations be answered directly whereas everyone that attempts to make the answer correctly. It would seem impossible for that many people, for every single attempt make the exact same answer following the exact same rules. The formula must then be flawless. Therefore, no one can be incorrect. That was what I thought, when I was a child learning about equations for the first time. That the questions regarding such equations seemed trivial pursuit. There was no rational idea, that people were probably all going to follow the rules exactly as they are supposed to be written in order to not mistake the answer. The truth is, you must correct the answer while the question is being made. For whatever reason there is a method, there is an equal answer to that question. The answer is always found in asking why the question came into being.

In my philosophy there are no trick questions, only spare tires. Which explains why the wheel was invented. Much like equations.

It is my image of keeping an ear to the ground, swelled. Like an ear infection, that hurts in pain it ached. That is what an ear infection is, the ear swelling, for whatever the reason. I have dedicated my life, to having cured my ear aches.

I thought of - stuck in a trap of validity. I am addicted to the flavor of learning how not to know.

For all future reference both metaphorically and historically are not lead to be inaccurate.

The subject of my inquisition based on principle and methodology through mathematical property.

Arithmetically as I described is an ideological function, is in my virtue a history of competition. I competed against myself in order to achieve what this thought accomplished.

A history of competition I am addicted only to its flavor. A history of competition as it has been served.