Pause Control Agnostic

Why am I not happy?

The question I'm raising to myself has to deal with my past.

My mom is very caring. When Christmas comes around, she's busy baking.

I have to ready myself for Christmas, because of people that I literally feel take us for granted.
It's as though they think they're doing us a favor by visiting our house that we'd invite them over for Christmas!

I'm a lot like my mom.

I think my mom is a special person, because of the way she thinks. People who know my mom only know that she's strong and independent. However, my mom doesn't "owe" anything. Except, because my mother comes across as giving and considerate, the consideration she'll receive from other people is, "Oh, she really likes to do this sort of thing."

I'm reading about the affect self-esteem has on me, and what I see myself as in life.

I compare myself with my mom, because I also believe I'm the same way she acts.

What I don't like is if people don't appreciate my true qualities much the same way my mom has hers. If I see my mom being taken for granted, because of other people's mentality take my mother for granted in choices she makes.

The choices that I've made are not to ignore people, but to see them for the fears they show against how someone like my mom is in life.

My parents work very hard, and only have people take them for granted!!

I've grown-up to witness the casualty of being in the shadow, my self-esteem has to be the essence of my virtue.

To contain everything I've learned, is to solidify and strengthen my ego.

I've become "stronger" and I'm stronger for being how I see my mother in myself.

Now, what happens is a result of the way I can help recognize if people relfect my true qualities appropriately.

I care to replace my opinion of my mother with myself, and work against the people who've not given me less but more of.

People, who seem to judge based on their ego, won’t respect how my mom owns herself.

My mom has her own unconditional ego.

In other words, my mom contributes the most basic human qualities unconditionally. When people see a person like my mom IS, they are too busy thinking about placing an external variable on what my mom does. My mom will do without expecting anything in return. What people anticipate is the fact my mom wouldn’t expect anything from them! They’re attitude is “Why should we appreciate?” The difference being that my mom, is someone who’ll like to be validated through love… without people actually caring enough to notice how she acts is the basis of my mom’s will. My mom needs recognition, but because she blocks this aspect of herself from others, my mother thinks wouldn’t imply other people should bother caring. People, who see this about my mom, would only not be thinking about what my mom “DESERVES”. Instead of validation, my mom isn’t expecting a person of validating her. People who’ve seen this aspect of my mom only take advantage. My mom deserves “Acts of Love” that resemble her true nature.




I’m my mother’s son… I won’t stand for it. I know what my mom deserves in life.