Life this decade (Thanksgiving 2013)

 Being beautiful means a lot more than our ability to see it.

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The best thing about me is that I am the most deserving person I know.

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"The symbols we send,

are deflected again,

are so connected -

but are we even friends." Reflektor > Arcade Fire

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Re; good will / can also sound like an immoral baptism with an element of rejection.

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It is amazing to me how many people seek out the unhappiness in others.  Never would I have thought this many people would wish that on me.

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Honestly, it is so fucked how conditioned people are & see how they abuse their autonomy only to represent a false sense of self concept.

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Is there an instruction manual for forcing yourself to be something you are not even if it makes you feel unhappy.

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I have worked hard to be a person that does things knowing what I do can help change the world we live in. The totality of living as an autonomous being. It is not to fulfill requirements of an accusation made against gods interests but to better reflect my inner life.

I never thought so much of my autonomy would be this aware in its self.

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I look at myself today as that person I use to be wonders why I became this aware of it, I now know how comparatively the same answers may always have applied however unfailing.