Setbacks of a personal nature

I call it melancholy. Some might see it as being depressed? Others may not recognize me altogether. . . what is the reason for this message?

Last night:

I became an instant celebrity. Except no one was their to attend the ceremony.

All of what this boils down to is my life. I feel somewhere between procrastinating and failure. It reminds me of a time after my car accident, when at 18 years of age, my life changed completely. It altered everything. I've become a very - very different - person. Last night is an indication of that changed individual.

However, as much benefit of the doubt I have in beating the odds? My life is in a whirlwind of failing to realize my full value of potential. It has weakened me on many levels of self-esteem, but resiliance as I have made paid off.

Instead, that same person who almost died in the car accident continued to fight (after I graduated and turned '18' and went into high school for upgrading. . . ) in order to attend university. No strings attached. What that translated into? I call myself a 'hero'.

Some people still recognize me.

I work at Safeway and I'm 29 years old with a girlfriend, a BA (degree) and my lack of pride to hold something together. Whatever that may be?