The challenge

I've decided on very little, too little, I'm now afraid of expressing myself? The problems I have to face are somehow less than difficult to deal with! However, the choices I have made created a paradox.

In relation to my present situation, I find myself thinking about what to do next with my life. So much is left to unfold; I remain undecided.

This weekend opened my eyes to a few of my concerns:

1- working at Safeway -

There is nothing terribly wrong in particular with the job itself, the work is easy, it's a matter of principle that's involved.

2- I went to a wedding. . . -

That many people wore masks, the circumstances surrounding this wedding in particular is no different than most. But the purpose of a wedding should be to have fun, perhaps enjoyment, would have been a better theme for this wedding? I did the better than 'my best' to compromise.

3 - I guess.

I guess, . . . I guess the problems I have in life would not remedy itself unless I decide to make he choices necessary. The truth is, people aren't fooled easily, when it comes to my own personal satisfaction or drive or want or need - from desire. I wish I had my own place, or a job I loved to do, or a car that I insure with licence plates that read the words "clever".

What has really got me to where I am, for lack of (my) leading a better life, has nothing to do with how ambivalent I see the world. . . so much. Nothing stopped me from freeing myself, and that is all of my intention.