2005 - r.i.p. 2006!

this will be my last post of 2005. it's been a great ride for me.
i thought about what all of this means.
absolutely - nothing.
nothing at all.
but i dream of a day
where pink snow flakes will fall.
and it will be normal.

dirty secret

do not haggle with me.
I'm in the bussiness.
that dirty little secret.

the failure of 2005

I have the potential for romance
when in doubt?
But no need must I fear.
That in such promising ways. . .
my desire for trouble.
That emotion
has subdued!
That trying,
to make myself educated.
The completely unrelenting
individual I am.
You - you
you -
unmasked villain
in civilian clothing.
How dare i
seal
my fate!
We've disagreed,
yet somehow managed
a thought over
disagreement
isn't fought.
It is the nature
of something
supernatural.

Old fashioned hero's

For each moment I looked happy.
And from then on
the creation of my secret sex life
took a turn for the best.
My treatment in therapy worked.
These are the rules -
you have the discipline
and awareness
it takes -
to succeed.
But - I'm
not a robot
for
spirit'
for
health. . .

In the road
ahead_
I've stopped
talking'
bananas'!

My heart runs on courage.

As not to be
too-much
that
is
worst.

The red dragon's future

I have forgot!
Have I forgot?
That the future I had;
now - can no longer be true.
But the future I WILL
- be.
Limited in the will we forget. . .
with.

mayday: a defective allegory

The detection
of'
not listening;
( I will not. . .
- appeal to
snobbery. )

The potential
of'
complaining. . .

FAIR
BALL ?

FAIR
- BALL !

A fouling is felt,
detected.

All in the effort
of estrangment
from a context
it was given. . .
not without really
trying myself.
Panicked - educated
"Strange emotionally."

They haven't got to me facing
the wrong side of the argument.

The mortality of ethical obligations in "relationship"

The vanity of emotion in vain;
So unto the racism
- of calling a group such .
I refuse the dynamite!
Dynamite?
Quite simple:
"Are you king of the Jews."
"You have said so yourself."
And that misconception of Jesus
our modern day hero.
Allows us to believe in life as a human being.
That we are our children.
We can have a belief commonly held in favor
- that nothing can withstand.
Because in time,
throughout the course of history.
I have learned to accept, Jesus.
And his name.
And my own sanity.

rejuvinating accountability

If you lived in a world that belonged
to a certain group;
and that hadn't the idea?

Perhaps only - then
might I feel inclined!

The truth be told.
And unless - you
can prove to me. . .
what I am saying is
completely skewed
in some way
from its original
meaning.
I'll be inclined not to
accept such responsibility.

Though I have no problem
accepting
myself accountable
to reason!!

Whatever it takes. . .
whatever my heart makes.

any argument unacceptable

I've been educated to believe in
the
way I think.
And
through the
ending
to the beginning.

I wonder/

...if all things remain equal

I divide?

Perhaps then
you'll agree!

My classified personality
has tired
of trying too hard
or been emotionally unavailable
to abuse.

Christianity

I entered a universe all its' own
in particular cases;
the only thing I couldn't
think imaginable!
That a victim lives
on each
side of an argument.
And the world.
What the reality does
makes me no less
of a person.

the appeal to snobbery

Waking up in Manhattan. . .
I dream of life here.
A salty fishbone.
And an intimacy between
us penguins marching.
Perhaps it's not due to my
suspision of'
that character I'll
never be.

I have no other reason for saying this;
other than that
my heart
is in the right place.

discretion

As if to say
you read this
as it to say ;
genius.

But then the aforementioned
word didn't appear?

Then that word only appeared
in direct time
as compared
to indirected goal
oriented behavior!

Now say the word genius.

That's me.

giftwrapping gifts

I've somehow managed
to have my own
behavior
confused - with
not giving
a straight
answer.

Generosity

Often I wonder
. . .is this
not'
a trap or;
a loop-hole?
EFFORTLESS.
In the same
feeling - up in smoke!
Who does the thinking
if "you know what."
In such a crime
scene - of ufo's -
and shadows.
Something personally depriving
-me of.
Immoral -
- . . .That feels like feels
like taking care of myself.

Although - my dearest
monkey -
sweat - monkey
playboy -monkey
sweetheart mouse. . .
for I am for-
for
I am
not.

Sleep Walking Insomniacs

I live most of my time in,
the narrative that responds
without the feline.
Perferably a piece of mind
that registers in time!
That tommorow all I have. . .
was lost?
Because I already know the outcomes -
to displace myself.
That I exist.
Mechanically I work in percentages.
1% is toward my dreams to live.
99% I commit to action. To act.
To learn.
To observe.
To listen.
To love that freedom.

I'm not sold

. . .on the idea of a constitution Mr. Bush.
You have discussed these elements in favor
of a great mission.
But I digress.
Somewhere along the line
something changed.
And the philosophies of man?
Became extinct!

to whom the bell tolls

I knew there was a reason;
my professor had!
I must continue. . .
to change the issues of avoidance
a doctor orders perscriptions.
Through it all Marco,
you have a capacity
that no one else has.
Remember me - doctor
I continue to change.
And you ordered prescriptions.
Not me.

Amoral high ground :the swamp

Suffer' from moral hi-jinx;
yet no longer-
is it
illogical
to think.
My heart drums like
the sounds
of an
ocean
floor.
Haven't I tried harder?
Not a dream to do without.
Not an empty road
that leads
to
nowhere.
The happy days!
Popcorn salted butter.

the risk of decensitizing a shopliffter

I just freak myself out;
when I'm not feeling happy
as I should. . .
be.
Basically.
Not as practical enough.

Over over analysis

Because I didn't smile ;
without having me
to worry. . .
too - too much
with what attire is suited
best?
Two sides there are to
every face - there are.
On occassion.

denial'

Fur coats on robots without...
fur coats.
An environmentalist:
without a clue?
And here I am living out loud!

"Emotionally" (Personal smoke)

The honest cheater;
protection -
against providing
stained glass windows.

Making Pottery / making pottery :

The truth is. . .
I'm willing to have
one good thing
if it means
not
having another.

Photographs
in a can
of worms. = Photography

Spine. =
Acting/ =
Poetry.
All fair pricing.
Performing without
any spinal injuries
and a santa suit.

Planets / caroling / happiness

I rejoice. . .

Hearing - have you not' heard
of the gossip
This is stressful.
Slowly dying!
We all suffered
innocently
in
silence.
What I portray - I present
as an image of peace.
In hot pursuit.
Of harmony, that lingering
on -about'.
Different personalities are
offered - distinguished-
from complex behavior
I gesture. . .
to act'.

And once all
of the planets
have aligned
I've found a
cure
to retirement - . -

For I've settled.

In love with
Christmas'.
Night rider'.
Rebel Santa without a cause'.

Vagabond. ( -of words unspoken)
You instrument of
other worlds.

An unexpected inquisition.

I've done mind reading.

The miracle cure

As I've settled
for sunbathing while
balming in the
shade. . .
Christmas Bells
- are ringing.

PRESENTS FOR EVERYONE. . . ?!

To only be mistakenly
aware this kind
of-a-knowledge;
furthering me the
expenses. . .
from no
personal
obligations
or
mistreatment.

Christmas tree of lights.

If that's not what's
it you wanted -
of THIS NOISE.

Then why not ask me
- why not.

Listen to how a vending
. . .machine
. . . . . operates.

Like: what if all things were
[made] to be scientific sounded
that of virtue?

Christmas passed. . . dating Scrooge and the Grinch of '

But there's many different - different
shapes and sizes of all kinds
Tiny Tim.
You must do me a favor!
It's quite important?
The truth of the matter is
vegtables are healthy. . .
the more healthier for you
the better.
Such High Maitnance this chrsitmas season
becomes you.
It's their law.
"Yeah mom, I'm just busy doing something."
And what on earth is this reimbursment planned?
Tiny Tim...
you're such a kidder.

Wings in e-motion (memory)

My memories are in motion.
Memories in motion?
As I spread myself all over me!
. . . Although nothing ever' is ever against the rules;
I break them - all.
Memories of emotion stored in the subconscious of mind.
And that magic touch.
Magical of mine.
A magician.
As I have put death out of my misery -
pouted about.

curv-insecerity-es

That I saw.
Was the cause!
I jumped on one foot. . .
then on my leg.
Now my body.
The profiting I've made?
Aren't you to have;
such information.
TOP SECRET. . .
INFORMATION.
But I just want you to be happy.

circumstance

The fact of the matter is
before I walk
backing into the game.
The chess board is of great quality.
Like a diamond in the rough. . .
I really don't believe in pawns.
The next move is crucial.
The quality of circumstance.
This potential I've exausted;
you couldn't waste it if you even tried!
That destitute remained.
The nature of a sacred feeling.
That sacred feeling of nature living?
Inside of me.
It's mine - all mine.
Now lets forget the roses
that in time
we do not regret.
I may so forgive the smell of.

Pathetic Minds

Excuses.
Excuses.
Excuses.
Held higher. . .
to the level of lowering.
In a room filled with comic relief.
I feel the powered circle.
Of my many other great adventures.

Big Shot Artist

You're such a wonderful liar.
It's obvious what the mind sees;
the obvious the eye.
And in light of it...
covers up.
It's covered.
I have it covered.
ALERT ME!
Have me alerted?
It's a cover up. . .
a cover up
!!!

owning!!!

There you feel guilty now, ha!
So the facts are true.
Out goes the old
and
in with the new?
But hold that thought.
Because in time we'll blow things
so out of proportion
that my many robot arms
will mechanically
alter your perceptions
of false inhibitions.
The resemblence of trust not.

In the killings...

Murderers!
Murderers!
I've grown attached
to my
outfitted materials.
Gruesome tasks.
Chilling mysteries.
Appauled.
Heinous acts of crime,
all criminals.
Hideous to look I feel it.

Built up shrink wrapping

As we converted from a foundation of mythical

creatures;
to the confessions that ended
only yesterday.

Feel - the danger . . .
was'
nice while it lasted.

Below the surface-
not below the surface
where it should be. . .
shouldn't not?

I do hate this - fear!
The intimidation.
The intimidation.

Chocolate and coffee - hmmm.
Coffee and chocolate. . . hmmm.

Together make for'
HOT CHOCOLATE.

Hip Hip Hooray.
Now giddiup old 'doggie.

Choice/ conversation/ belief' identity.

Huh? Nicely!

Expressing the anger.

I felt a rage. . .
RAGING BULLS.

Overcoming.

The anger I felt.

Expressing the anger
I - felt.

To express. . . myself.

Not being the
victim
I keep
learning
from
it. . .
not being victim.

A victim.

Hear me made into the mad hatter;
my own underestimated
ability in
being mistaken
for
a temperature boiling.

My luckiness just keeping
better ;
mistook for misfortune in

-my mist. Worth pursuing my fine gorilla.

Glass boxes;

and porcelain dolls.

Swimming in fruit salad.

SALAD.

MANGOS.

BANANAS.

FRUIT BOWLS.

How immune to a pathetic piece of plastic garbage are you?

Bone dry sarcastic humor

Didn't you mean
something like that!;
Why'd I mean that?
Sensory layers of (referring)
perception, be mature
more than you are.
What I Refer to as getting
myself lucky?
Do you see me. . .
looking
happier
then the habit
of "keep"; to keep
oraganzied!
In search of a double meaning.

There's no defense mechanism/ King Kong

Pearls in paradise
- a one way ticket flight
. . . out of Rio.

Kind king kong.
Kind king kong.
King king kong.
Repeat x3.

I have a nose for; marching with
penguins.

It's a fashion. . .
with the angels wings.

In the prehistoric
jungle. . .
knock-knock
I witness.

This news I know is good.

Dressing down for fear
of not being refused.

I've been addressed the
title of "cake in red clothing."

Only curious for a reaction.'

It's going to happen?

The meaning you realize. . .
not often do.

Bare naked.

Specifications I designate
relate to such sensitive
dialogue - whispering
of charity
only I recognize
with or without
convenience.

Ring -ring. -
Another
/satisfied/
customer.

Did' cry: foul.

There's greatness in
satisfaction; when '
earning self-respect.

the unnecessary communication is temporary

There is a therapy around my neck.
It feels like a choking sound I've made.
And do I have as a story;
to tell you!
It's about the time. . .
the same time,
I asked myself.
Where have you been all this time?

the swaggering of a healthy majority

It's a state of mind I seek you after, Marco.
However, I don't attribute
character with making
choice either/neither
not' directly nor;
indirectly.
Weren't I as in a culture -
any culture - the kind
as though if to live in
heaven exists!
Sweet, sweet heaven. . .
Tanya.
May both our mother, our sisters,
and especially
you
Tanya;
be blessed as we are.

Censored Mentality

The words felt safe;
even stronger then my suspicion of
the event
taking place.
There's no loss of my experience
from
emotion.
That tap-
tap
tapping
of the drum beat.

I swayed.

And swayed. . .

like on a swing playfully.

I admit as I must.

This is about my own self respecting: nature.

The lost element

I've recovered the competition unfolding
before my own very eyes
with love
from...
japan.
Allowing myself to be as happy.
That history speaks louder then words.
And through it all this time -
my memories fade
are mine to cherish forever.
Amen.
My dignified face.

A hesitant curiosity lingering about'

A curious yet hesistant'
dialogue
bemuses.
Not to belittle.
Thought on millions of more or less than
occassions.
There's vicinity
proximity
security
testing obscurity -
Ad Hoc validity . . .

You do not use somedbody
else's integrity; as
a vehicle for your prejudice.
Your own shortcomings are NOT the
source,'
open to abuse.

I won't all it on myself.
I will not tolerate that,
as long if the person avoids
me, than I'll stay out of
their way as well. I'm
a protector - the guard . . .
an intent.

In the recesses of emotion

In the recesses of emotional'
upheaval.
Believing in me, Marco.
Being this'
to save.
Yet - the problem.
Isn't peace of mind.
Turmoil /suffering /anguish
??
And how I adore you!
Tanya. -


Upon this travel'
ship. . .

I feel-
no fear/
resentment/
of intimidation.

The battle has'
trembled
gone on
this far
been won.

Nothing hyperbole.
Only sounds of compassion.
Signs that read aloud.
Interference of all good
vs.
evil - I've
interfering.

And I enter
as
a dogma'
this paradox of
words/ morality. . .
That nothing can
escape.

The dogs' knowledge
evidently'

To incriminate me,
Marco -
A time of
life'
love'
liking'
. . . Tanya.

And the dog -
won the war.


Blessed - (be) Marco (be) Tanya
Amen.

"Hello, Jesus. . . "
and my sacrifice
to you oh' Lord,
'lord my king of kings.

Cannot be distracted.

You: I'll not evade.

I can't stand still
moving . . . tall.

-moving all day long'
hot.

Not making a '
mistake.

For to feel;
this chill on my
bones. . .

furthering no cost
to you lord'.

In this '
band of peakocks'
I'll throw myself
in a pile
of. . .
snow.

I've found
happiest'
in
this
measure.

A fantasy my will of dreams.

Inspirational suffering takes action.

My - emptied emotional self in play'.

The environment you create -
I god / God
(I') thank you.

Crying - for shame.

These feelings
lost and found
in. . .
the. . .
moment.

SUSPENDS ME -

I experiment
with such
suspense.

The whispering
channel(s)
through me
I experience...
through to me.
AND
a candy-cane'.

I speak a language
of reading
intellectually. . .
emotion(s).

And to be
choosing -
god / God. . .
you believe in
the cause'
of emotions
without cries
of abuse. . .
for hearing.

The mute button (prayers of angels)

Of all these thoughts and words.
Have I forgotton?
Where the mute button is kept.
Located on top of my remote control.
And a cancer victim sings out loud, not?
Alleluia.
Alleluia!
Alleluia' . . .
No pain.
I gain.
It redeems me to feel it.

Getting played hard - (rioting virgin eyes...)

A serious source of course'
of course.
That I do believe in Santa Clause.
And the toys he brings.
The love I give him to.

It's not my own
fault of to teach;
not that I want it.

But I wish I knew
what
I was
doing.

If love were an
emotion;
in its most
NATURAL
environment.

A colder density-
that follows...
me to
here.

A destiny of rain drops.

But never (to) do I fake it!

And to love. . . ?

Astonishing / irresistable.

If not to love -
coming after?

Such praise.

-Praise me
lord'
as I praise
you oh lord.

My lord we
praise you. . .
I give you
thanks lord'
and I praise
you lord.

And always.

Though in my
thoughts and -
in my words
renewing
me.

I feel you lord'
I feel you lord'
I can feel you lord.

That redeems me.

Because to you you lord'
isn't not a fake emotion.

a Archeological type

Though the ramifications are plenty;
a universe far from our world.
To expect what is to be expected -
in the measuring of ability.
Truth be told.
So I wondered whether a shoe maker
makes me a shovel?
I ask this.
What proud of how I am.
So I told myself,
- what on earth is the mystery.
Of knowing everything there's to know!
Be careful says the blinded male ostrich
with its head in the sand.

The obstruction of justice

I have a charge for instruction.
A discovery of falling on my ass!
And I laughed.

Mind for Manipulation

I play a role.
That of emotions.
A kind of parallel that doesn't allow;
that I provide every inhibition
to have affected.
Perhaps I haven't heard being the -
opposite sense of the word?
To have... an affect that defecits!
Though I do: attention defecit disorder.
I have it.
I project myself image without.
Onto great many deviant psyche's I pose
with.
A detention of having made a plan.
To honor what I know of.
He is paying me a compliment.
He's forgot to mention how important
his feelings are...
because later on.
The facts evade him.
That his own reality is made up;
like makebelieve.
Only - now.
- Only now I can see...
how abusing the potential others face.
'To expect the' best from me recieving
and
having to recieve.

A cosmetic evasion

My potential is examined.
He walks with me.
Comet streaks and a tail wizard.

The threshold of Least Resistence

Out with the old and in with the
new;
a strong evdience of character.
And I've not suffered from humiliation -
whatever was thinking?
I wasn't thinking!
That equal moral consideration...

Falling Out' planned

I had a fight with god about his prophecies...
his words.
But' his words had meaning!
His thoughts.
Not?

weren't we laughing instead...

We were.
Were we laughing instead?
That radiant frugality that fodders.
I scream.
And I scream again mad.
-And I screamed.
...And I'm screaming some more.
And the more I supply you with.
To have thought about vengence is futile.
That retaliation is of envy.
A revenge.
But I think about it often!
Too often'.
I translate this: society of relics.
Scream - some more.
I scream some more.

not to be thinking outside the box

Don't allow fear to chase you inside.
Put you down.
Keep it out.
Those inhibitions.
Those inhibitions are false!
Those false inhibition aren't true?
Correct me if I'm wrong.
But don't take it personally.
Therefore, those are false inhibitions.
I have an inhibited self.
I am corrected if I'm wrong.
My personal inhibitions.
Those false inhibitions are.
Correct me if I'm wrong.
Taken personally.
Personally - taken.

A Far Shorter Distance

In fact of the matter;
nor impractical.
The truth from its near
impartial end!
Love will last forever.
This is not' as distant.

A seductive work ethic

There's a mix of emotion;
signed.
Everywhere I look, every time
I witness.
There's a part of me that
hasn't yet?
Felt how I thought.
What I can achieve!
Making a choice for the pill
you take.
I believe in thinking about...
telling me a brown loose fitted polyster suit
looks good on me.
A sales person
advising me of how abusive I treated them.
That my emotions ran on empty.
My - my informative context.

The listening sound

Abuse!
Abuse!
Abuse!
What kind of a lie -
has no sound?
Has only whispering involved.
A secret.
Nothing else but a sweat.
a swear word
that mystery of deliberating and knowledge
to be done each and every second time
this life we live
only once

Alienating

You were a sweet love of chocolate.
I couldn't resist the flavor.
So candid in leaps and bounds.
I ache in my heart for you.
The pain!
This sadening' romance of not?

I cannot - I can'

I can't stop you from threatening my -
courageous efforts.

Rejecting the rejection (tivial mind games)

I don't think there's any mention of the word:
being 'trapped.

Only a compulsive liar would've thought?!

What a - reject.

Such a complicated matter.

The mail. Letters.
I sent myself the postcard I swear that I was there.

Logic.

A word of note

I look around the garden for a flowering rose.
The bud becomes a fully bloomed character.
I agree.
I agree.

Peripheral Vision

I obtained...
I approved.
I approached;
and I succeed.
I gave myself permission -
and the rest was history.
I historically advised the right method
of learning the way of the lollipop.
And complacency does me no harm!
It didn't hate me wrong.
I loved the past.
On the contrary...
such stories give me pleasure.
I commit my heart to heart'
this annoying misery of words.
Permission granted me the feeling.
This feeling of longing emotion.
A longing emotion.
To have reached these divine heights.
My sense of reasoning...
is a characterization.
He is brilliant.
A pronoun or adverb he'
shouts.
But not suspicious his fear of god.
To deduce,
to reduced.
To infer,
to induced.
To defer.
That I wear this my jacket.
It alters my personality.
Like a caped crusader?
A supervillain millionaire!?
If jesus disguised himself in a beard.
What might I look like (in a beard)
- like that.
What distreating looks I offer to get.
I offered - then refused.
I invite - then excuse.
My mother tells me of independence.
Of virtue.
OF a virtue so fine /
the laughter melts me inside.
I feel the void.
I experience the fear.
Within me.
Good morning sunshine'
you need to rise earlier.
Take that bite out of me - will you.
Dr. Who.
I want her in my life.

The rats have eaten well'
that cheese has fodder.

And if you haven't yet believed in me...
you will.

It is a choiced inference.
A choice based on choices.

A potion that relieves me in chemicals of the brain.
Brain power.
Metaphysical actions!!!!

Throughout this time, I wrote a parable.

In my minds eye.

Though to seperate water into wine.
The fire has lit.

An ignition sent the burning desire loins on.
This burning desire set my loins on fire...
set my loins free'.
A sensation.

I shake and quiver without.

But in the reality of time;
I suggest to you.

You ill founded of hearing me speak.

You're ill founded.

Therefore, mother of mine.
Step into the light.

Come toward my honestly driven words...
why I became upset.

My confidence has arisen largely due.

A martyr of saints I think not!

My jacket.
High performance in the day.
Start to telling me-myself...
the day has come to sharpen the knife.
My shaving blades.
A trumpet blasts.

Choiced fascination.

Information distorted.

The Canadian Brad Pitt is a fake

Are you?
Who I think you are.
Making my integrity weaken?
For the love of healing!
Heal me lord'
and you shall be within this.
Bells and whistles.
A christmas carol -
and a choir full of tears.

But aren't you who I think you are, Marco.
Who are you?

That I doubt the integrity.
Challenged.
I felt challenged...
and the moral device I owning'
in winter solice.

Are you examining my integrity!
Do you know who I am -
that I've investigated.

That trail of reason has turned;
trial and error has followed its course.

And on the path perhaps I met you there.

It was a combination of goldilocks meets the three
bears. Or-
Hanzel and Gretel meeting Red Riding Hood?
Somewhere a concept of moral hi-jinx.

Though I thought about reaching out to you
made me afraid to wander alone.
And I took your hand, Tanya.

In a world called catastrophe amidst corruption
the laws and order of mankind.

Though I revealed my heart and soul;
in the neighborhood of dreams...
like Mr. Rogers or Sesame Street.

But I had a favorite: Mr. Dress-up.

And then came television.
Television' is life.

I continued out the search to find me.
My integrity of choice and reasonability.
Only to find me.
Here I am.
There I see you, Marco.

Checking oil in my vehicle of choice.
The dreaming hasn't stopped.
Subconscious armour cover me all.

But are you channelling my energy?
Do you challenge my sense for integrity.
This reaction of a present mind,
a mind that is present in time.

I've strengthened my vulnerability.
My objective self.
The negative self talk has worn out its welcoming.
The welcome mat I swept to a world at my feet.
The door step.
I'm consciously aware.

Aren't you a threat to my security?
Am I unconscious of you - you.
Provided that we prevent the fact.
We've settled - over again.

Though I'll never anticipate deserving
no better
from
you.

I reclined if feminist ideology

I declined it.
In fact I forbid it from happening.
I inclined the victim to think?
Not that it happened!
It did in fact happen!!
I induced.
I deduced.
I have a new found respect.

But that moment I knew something else was.
Something else was there that mattered more.
And I forgot about everything else.

Tanya
Tanya
Tanya

And all because of art imitates life;

I climb this tree of life with the same affection and

generosity.

Richer tasting morality

I bought a package.
I purchased the contents.
In it were snowflakes.
And I throw them out the window!
I control the weather.
Do you believe in this?
A kind of competition that chases the dogs tail;
around in circles.
An initiation of sorts.
An initiative that tells you to stop listening.

But I'm not running... no more running from the ghost.
No more chasing you down on my horse.
I'm free to face the frolick of emotions.

Billy Goats Gruff

Where are my socks!
Nursery rhymes...
of no greater reference?

I don't want to feel bad about myself-
for I am happy for you... Marco.

In any attempted contest

I don't object -
Tanya I will marry you fail-ing.
Failed if not I try.
I will become a success in the movies.
I will become a husband that seeds the womb.
And in the effect I effort I provide.
I effort I provide you.
I see the light of a sunshining morning.
Morning sunshine.
And the earth has grounded us whole.
My effort to see through the self.
That the self is immature to tell.
That the ego I dance with a grinning.

You are my soul.
You are my words.
You are Marco.

Tanya is.
I feel aware.
You are, Marco.

Daylight on the shadow.
Frost on window panes.
Glass has the... flight of wind hitting it.

A secret in taking the journey home.
I keep thrusting in and out.
Home sweet home.

I don't want a whore... that carelessly drinks for argument!
I haven't pleased the virgin.
Marco you are a caring individual and a fine human being.
If nothing finer than wonderful, crystalized?? - Perhaps not.

In the conscience of emotions:

a time of least resistance,
leaking from the guilt -
you've changed to be a better person.

Marco - Marco.

The kindness to believe in the lord' is one of harmony to trust;
and divinity to ordain.

Below Zero?

A pink mist is in the air.
The light dawns upon shading me.
A layer of protection to cover my dry skin.
From "cracking."
That you love like no other has!
That I feel you in the shadows of fear.
That I can feel you... accepting.
Tanya, my love.

Razor thin Target practice

What clothing does one wear without getting wet?
Perhaps a fable or fame.
But when man started wearing orange color.
The plot then thickened in light of culture.
Sophistication on terms of reasoning ability.
The can' of eyes.
I've never felt more comfortable in my own body.
Out of the bat cave.

Superman Casanova

I'm achieving something by writing.
The status of a bleeding heart!
And I extend my dearest thanks.
I will not let you down.
I will take care of you.
The livlihood of a monster;
lifestyle's.
That evil force of nature.
Rolling off my back.
The catholic faith.
Of outlaws made into superhero's?
My virtue!!
God.
A burning touch;
the opening flame of desires.
Flaming dire consequence.
A hawk.

Amen.

Coffee Stains conscience

The vanity of.
I'm so vain.
I'm vain about it/

-

end

Though I stained of conscience.

Though I thought conscience wasn't measured in ability.

My ability to act freely/openly about anything.

In regards to what?

With regarded temperment; not -
not to disregard the villain.

The villain takes naps on fate.

God I willed it.

vogue - the inner voice

A radical tale of healing.
Radical healing me.
Radically healed you - Marco.
That I control.
The death of Ivan Ilych.
Rules of misconduct.
Urban legends, "the mythical" beast.
My behavior...
a passion!?
A kiss
- this passionate.
Upon your lips I pray.
God preys upon me.
I prey upon god.

Rules of conducting a love powering energy

I'm attracted to you, Marco.
That realization.
Don't you think?
Tanya...
my love.
My horny Kuala bear.
That I control such death to bear.
Such strength of wisdom to imagine;
a future with great beginnings.
Endings.
Create the future, the beauty to create.

Passion

There is great acting done through privilege.
That purity of the heart is to will one thing.
And choosing so.

Urban Myth

My behavior is.
And quite frankly it is.
But when?
But how?
But whereabout?
And why!
WHY!
God only knows.
A level higher then this part of the program.
Misconduct having rules.
That life's; that's life.

The science of vogue

I've a brain of an elephant if to argue!
That I control.
Mr. Tolstoy do you hear?
That refuge of mine.

Cha-cha (...doubling exposure)

I'm canadian...
I busted open the piniata.
Arriba.
And the embarassment!
Oh my -
I could hardly contain myself.
The piniata;
cha-cha-cha.
The piniata'
cha-cha-cha.

Sugar and Spice

The fact I deserve to feel this way;
has arrived full circle.
My progress.
That is.
I plead not guilty to the pledge!?
Pop goes the weasel.
And the champagne bottle open.

The matriarch

I'm a master of trading secrets.
The divine nature of my tender Tanya.
And I'm an existential philosopher by trade.
Where the world treads in this waking lost world?
Lost!
The world is lost.

I have proved' my luxury in waiting...
I will buy my luxury sedan;
I shall.

Chronicles of tragedy.
Missed opportunities.
Crying shame.
Laughter.

And a argument dragged along
- this comedy of errors.

But on this self serving ambition
I've demonstrated the admonition.

Nothing is required.

there are no rules

there are no rules of judgment
mistreated - as a leaking faucet
rattles the brain.
The moment thought escapes me.
Impregnating reality!
That the truth is spoken only when
heard as an emotional outburst?
The realist is frozen...
clock.
Clock.
Time is a clock.
The concept is reality in different meanings;
context / words.

Fully dream the dream.

I am not sad of this

You intimidate the way people act?
Is that how you answer to me!
- Marco
Marco.
That villain is in disguise.

allowed - no shivering

Trying to help.
I've succeeded.
Through not trying.
Though trying to help...
helping' the pessimist.
Portraying the optimist.
I fear such objectivity.
The power of prayer.

We're all capable of changing;
changing our mistakes...
I chose.

The choice is certain.

I'm into choosing to stand up and be /
be a man.

To say I'm sorry.

Monday - maniacs

La vie boheme.
La vie boheme.
La vie boheme.
Long live...
La vie boheme.
I live for days off!
I sat myself on a gold mine.
POOF.
Last one in the swimming;
I'm in the pool.

Freedom to ride

It's wrong to feel this enemy motivation.
To retliate at the sound of a riffle!
And I do love many things.
The taste of kentuky fried chicken...
or a babies rattle?

Plant Food

It is this the cause'
the heart of a hypocrite.
The arch of a slide-
weee...
that feeling of you -
dropping.

There I was. naked.

Running through the forest.

Like time stood still
and I was standing there.
Sliding, sliding.

I ran through a forest;
naked.

...buffalo .../... guess...

I don't find myself in the habit of operating.
I operate within.
A mutation of better knowing.
That context I'm in.

tips on judgment calling

That sterotype hardly delivered.
I thought about how the music made me dance.
And the music never stops!
And the shower I sing;
my lips dripping wet.

a humbled adventurer

My ego is extermely ordinary.
But the waves of a future context exists
in a melody of fortune sense.
I excite my sense of living on the edge.
Striking the cobra.
Lifting the hollow brown beneath the ground,
a coffin raises up again!
But no.
No- I'm a travelled wanderer.
I listen to the music above solid pasture.
Because I feel lucky.

I forget you exist

I've been here for this long,
attempting to find you!
The place I began this search for you.
But instead;
the cradle rocked.
It fell off.
I was waiting to tip the iceberg over.
In the aftermath I thought about whispering
something that would lift us.
Then I prayed.
Put off so long ago.
The picture looks sadder then it did at first.
Better then I had wished you became a man.
Add my thoughts.
And add them all together.
What else might happen?
You are forever.

moving the i

And I start...
the third person;
is not it' initiative!
I feel that's gone?

verdict

Why did it take this long
to inform of a judgment?
That to reach this profound;
agreement.
A fork in the road.
Somehow the end has been reached?
Where everything seems mutual!

the salesman remains calm

You have to understand where I've come from.
I didn't want to tell you everything about me.
So I ended up here...
my pride.
Crushed hopes;
dreams.
Nightmares.
I thought about how to tell you.
Instead.
The pride I take with destiny that told me
of great misfortune.
And you have tunnel-vision.

Neve

For some reason I missed that.
Days after.
I went back to find the reason I lost!
I'm in love.
Now I'm in love again.
Tanya.
I surrender.

The geometry of a hypocrite

I was worried you might come.
But the favorite diamond?
007-
You must have hidden it from me!
i knew you would.
Pretending.
To be a victim.

the vanity if emotion

I feel hurt all day.
But the dialogue is similair;
so in fact.
But not the dialogue of emotion.
Perhaps when said:
of another time that presents this.
Perhaps where said:
the persistence of something mutual.
Perhaps how said:
the existence of ?. ?. ?. .

University Years

The subject became desperate.
I was in philosophy.
I changed my major.
Theatre;
I wanted to be an artist.
So I began writing poetry.
Now I live at home.
The rest in my life is up to me.
Poetry = potential.

But man did I do it.

The Maroon

I played football in my first year at high school.
When my coach Mr. Purpur
had informed me I was to start in the
biggest game of the year!
I was estatic.
By grade 12,
I was the most popular among my peer group.
Not a word of a lie.
The rest I forget to mention.

maybe it was at that time...

I began to wonder.
There's nothing I can't do.
It's strange because I felt so much of what I saw
there happening in front of me.
When I witnessed a train crashing.
And she stood there waiting for me.
I woke up from my dreams.
And there she was,
the madonna waiting for me!
How come she knew about where I'd be...
if it weren't for my mystery thoughts.

I walked into the principals office,
at Sargent Park School.

This time Mr. Enns asked:
"Why are you late?"
The reason I spoke had now become,
based on authority to reason.

"I left my house later then I should have."

Mr. Enns looked at me and said if I left the house
earlier then I could be to school on time.
But why wasn't I on time after class already started?

I could not answer.
That he knew!

My life in grade school became a nightmare.

I woke up to a fainting noise. It scares me to this day.

The word is failure.

private ('eye supplying'... ) charisma

I lived at 443 Elgin ave.
I'm 5 years old.
But the fact of the matter is;
I'm going to be a an abused/molested
child from the North End of Winnipeg.
Not many chances at survival.
But my parents are hard working.
Middle class gangsters.
I refused not to.
In fact, I went to Victoria Albert School
most of my childhood.
I was a dragon.
It's funny.
It's funny because I never thought
I'd be writing this until now.
That I could accept what I do
for the same reason?
On days like today, my life is transformed...
with grey skies over me.
And a existentialist prophecy moving forward!
I had no idea where I began:
except for the first few lines of this narration.
(However, maybe it drew me in closer to you.)
- Marco.

sweet nasty bear hugs

I didn't like to draw the map.
I'm impressed with my height.
Then at one point I stopped...
maybe thought.
And under great tension.
I knew made it happen.

Cheerfulness of the heart

I thought nothing would come of it...
until I was lost somewhere.
And that I kept thinking what
purturbed me.
The fromage.

It's 2005

At what point in time
did recreation become such
a fitness oriented passtime?
That we became a language
with regard to the strength a
person felt physically?
That the idea of
shaping a body...
had something to do with,
feeling anything.
Maybe the greeks. -
Maybe the rest of the time
we forgot.
But I have a dream
-about frozen ponds.
About warm hot chocolate.
And it's 2005.

lol

"Your face..."
-said my sister to me.
"What?"
I asked.
"Its just donuts -
not god."
- That's how I looked;
donuts do that to me!

The gambling voice

The feeling of a sound;
having been buried alive.
What'd it be?
Imagined like this!
That's cognition working.
That's my skill.

existentialism / equilibrium ... and a thesis'

"...i would hardly recommend you-
try to disprove any theory
on the basis of calling
my attempt
feable."

- a girl

the narrative of a double life - of a narrative

Perhaps i see you in color, Marco.
And on the surface of these words...
I commit to a higher state of consciousness?
That I commit to you Tanya.
Tanya!

Fainting

When the point becomes a - a peril of humanity.
From, me to you.
The story leaves me in the middle.

racing stripes

the follwing altercation
is one of answer
that I question.
And I retaliate with nothing mind
you-
I've always stated the truth behind the mystery.

The magic dust

There's mystery that company does not see.
And in the subject of metaphors;
such plain delight.
But in such shinning sea:
I never thought was possible?
Tanya -
how you've captured my heart.
Dearest heaven in skylit night,
perhaps even the stars!
That her beauty holds itself
I carry.
That the heavens have been lit
for a few pale moments.
And we grow closer together to find
each other here.
I have no idea where to look next.

the lesbian messes with us at the party' an anti-feminist view...

The cripple.
They're everywhere you look behind.
I'm a hostage.
You don't know how to laugh.

Permission Slip ...amore'

Not- that much...
I lied about.
Feel my fish tail wag,
wacked you it did.
And what I am a wreck
-am I?
Am I.
I'd kill you to pieces.
But I'm not like that.
Edgar.
Yet in some higher end of the spectrum;
I look away from myself/
only to find depression that sickens.
And no need
for you to appreciate me.
I've had this all along.
That word 'potential.
And the world in pain;
I just tried to save it.

sugar dieting

it's a matter of genius.
no -the or the other kind?
The same kind.
But of a proposition...
that administers results.
And fo'get the fact.
The fakt of tha'
matter.

I'M STORNGER THAN YOU!

Diary of confession

I confess.
The shoe horn is what commited
the crime.
The weapon.
I have no skill whatsoever-
but what about happiness?
I haven't a clue.
Therefore; therefore.
I resist temptation.
For you my sweet -sweet
Tanya.
For I have gone blind!
BLINDED.
This clock on the wall...
reads...
"I've had my moment in the sun."
Tales of a narcissist sex symbol status.

Upright reject-walk

This travesty of
emotional upheaval
and discomfort.
Apes?
But not a word -
of a lie...
I'm trapped.
Secrets'
I'm trapped.
In this future' pretending.
Not my slave mentality;
- for rent.
The primates are dressed in evil.
And I without my helmet.

Igniting the stereotype - a definitive inquisition

If not for the same reason
that were truth'
as here is
what I found.
Taste it.
My falling down'
the flight of stairs
was embarassingly terrific.

I carried on the dispute - the divided line

The dispute I carried on.
"God"
I said.
Help - me.
Forgive this for myself.
Here you enter my conscious awareness.
The lights are on.
Not that I turn you off!
I will you lord'
I' will you.
That purity:
of rational accord.
I pray to you with.
But alas;
the fact of the matter?
This question we raised above,
not to serve you better...
only to judge.
And I do judge you god.
God I do judge you.
But not like that.
I have a chewing addiction.
My habit is to stop.
Therefore, among all these rules
of witnessing my demise below you
lord'
I am blessed for the eternity.
The eternity of grace.
Not a crinkle on my face'
or a wrinkle upon you
lord'
I relaxed.
That you haven't yet realized
how'
spoiled I've become.
And for you lord'
oh lord
my dearest...
Tanya'
I sacrifice that my prayer be answered.
Holy, holy - lord.
You feel my will, Marco
-the lord' can.

The inquiry element: Thoughtful'

Tossing that horse-shoe -
I've critiqued my survival skills.
Through the power of inquisition'
so - ...so
- surprising.
Although' ( force...)
I seriously doubt if - I - would;
in trying to somehow be -
convinced, that
cutting my fingernails
will have a dramatically significant
effect / altering' our universe which
we live.

Art work
model.

Misbehaved archetype.

the hot sauce

I don't understand
how I stopped listening.
Some point in time?
Perhaps!
Then cam-e my intuition;
besides the logic.

A walk for the roses

I don't mind seeing this happening...
the race track full of horses.
Though not in my wildest imagination
had'
I encountered a painting of this kind.

The ball.

I give you -

none without ' necessary intention

to recieve'
and
to recieve.

I stand up
straight
at the sound
of her voice.

For I am present.

giant apes at large

The fact of the matter is unfavorable in my opinion.
But default.
The mother of all words.
Ring true.'

sideburns'

So I share the dissapointment.
I came here to ask about the difference in opinion.
But since we stopped talking'
Marco.
What else is there??
xxx

This aching worry'

Perhaps I dwell far' too long
for my time.
But I continue to obey it.
And it happens.
I don't wish for anything'
...but it happens.

the second opinion of my own

Itch.
I scrtach it.
Its' gone?
But what happened to the impulse!
And - moments like these...
I dream of Mexico.
Why Mexico.
Why -
not Mexico.
Such rich buttery flavor -
creamy fulfilling independence.
But on such'
second opinions.
Fireengines roam'
around the facist.
This COMMUNITY
of fascists'
and the fire of my subconscious flames.
But I'm over it now.
This PERIOD.
My god Tanya'
the lord' is holy -
holy.
God almighty.
I pray.

Amen

-

Here is...
my second opinion.'


...of limited knowledge.

I'm limiting it.

It lifts me here above the ground
surfacing above
the
-ground.

Such hollow leisure.

Such a waste of opportunity.

... of a limited knowledge.

-

A knowledge that is.
Real. '

A knowledge limited.

And no answer I pray.

I pray only -
for you 'Tanya.

Amen.

the soldier acting if caught

The devil'
so not on the retreat.
Crisp -
jolly.
Lovely - lovely.

Perhaps on the train to nowhere?

Flock to the wind'

Believing in me.
Believing me. / Marco.'
In some higher
estimation/
of my obsession . . .
there's only -
. . .
Is tanya / you Tanya.

Social Disorientation

There's a hybrid of dysfunction
among us dreamers.
In the land of knots.
But keep looking with your eyes closed!
And a flash of light?
Lightning bolts.
- Have struck down on me, Marco.

But on much...

Much - enlightening occassions.

Reception for' conscience

Faith' /
deception/
reconciliation -

Be; proud.
This shadowy thought.

- Don't disown
the forgiveness.

I take this...
little by little.

Chewing on a soft and tender
candy.

In my head.

asscake

With great reference -
I asked.
That Tanya you changed
my life.
Giving me a head start.
And I asked FOR god.
That you are still my father.
And will always be.
Mario'

The boss.

What if not to love'
what not to like...
is it life.

In the careful selection of opinion-
to a collection.

Only compatible.

In this matrix of emotional discourse
and a craving for cold
soup stored in the
fridge.

I electing
-
sensuality.

A sensuality
so profound.

It reckons the cause'.

Let' imagine...
a male dominating race/'erased'
racing
that the female is
archetype.

madarins/ mandalin / marriage/ fashion

an enemies awareness' ...

Unknown syllables that make'
beaut-i-ful
se-xy
smart'

...


Now: the realization hasn't it become?

There's: the truth is here!

In no uncompromising fashion.

There is a vague gesture in this miracle of words.

As the earth travels around the sun...
our globe rotates.
The moon circles
as the narration
is divided
and
the rotating axis of our own.

Then in the moment of great adoration /
and resolve.

I think of tear drops.
To see you smile, Tanya.
I redeem myself, Marco.

And these newer habits that
reap of intelligent reward.

Let us say.

There is I see;
deviance in the context of a villain -
/for a victim of.


I think of tear drops.
To see you smile, Tanya.'
I redeem myself, Marco.'

This habitual nature
of a lonely teddy bear
like a lost child
on the radar.
To screen.

I think of tear drops.
To see you smile' Tanya.
I redeemed myself.
Marco.'

...

the contradiciton of analysis'

for the safety and comfort
of the emotional suffering
i encounter.
the devestating effect of a movement.
That i will not block out.
this is my choice...
that i appear to be confident >
that i am feeling
that we not laugh instead . >
that we laugh
to cross a path on the same bridge
that 50% of the time
i want something else.
That i divide myself
and not
a victim.
Not -
a reasonable'
responsible
victim.

pay me no credit'

for this favor that i ask:
i said
my god mother'
on her death bed.
So peaceful is she.
That i invite her to be at my side.
Natercia oh lord'
how i'd love to see in her eyes.
that she'll know where to lead her.
that we see the same mutation/transformation
onto the other side'
to die for her oh lord'
you give me the strength
and the serenity
that it's good
to be
ALIVE.

warm Winnipeg winters'

ice cream / i scream
list'
... this word
of ours.
Variables.

gods of wet'
fur
and cold
frosted milk shakes.

Only to spite
in spite of me!

Marco
not to satisfy her.

Tanya - the emotion.

Marco - the beast'.

You best portray a wanting of esthetic
or' perhaps eccletic reasoning.

NO - YOU.

Marco' being
is
realistic.

That Dr. Gordon
and my abstract poetry progressing...
tiny - tiny
SEX.
sex.

But now Marco -
you critique
only myself.
On horse checking,
rubbing its' furry nose.
And
and again
you hail the lord'
That she loves me -
Tanya'
Tanya loves me.

Marco
.


to save us.

To save us.
you hail the lord'
... to save us.

That she loves'
me' -
Tanya.

Tanya love me.

Marco.

I'm back on track.
The tracks.

lately' ...

I live off of this energy.
I channel my secrets.
But not you, Tanya.
I love do.
And crazily.
But so soft / warm.
My beauty resonates with honor.
How I love thee.

That 'to inspire such a woman.

Of great.
Great.
Beauty.

The fog lifts from all gods lap
up into the heavens
and I fall back down to earth.

Just to eat the seed'
of a childs
bread, Marco.

You shall conquer the demon'
that conquering...
you've won.
Already won
this lottery of emotional setbacks
and withdrawal.

Standing there upright, Marco.
Stand straight;
stand up straight.
My friend.
Marco -

The edification' of sainthood

Shut my eyes -
relax.
...and to think of
magic lands.
Magical heights.
Orgasm.
what might be.
Marco - smiling.
You're a lot like me Tanya.
You're a lot like me Tanya.

brown bear

brown bear
what do you see?

these tender words

the gentle pasture of being here
in the nest
of tender love.
Why I hate you?
Why you hate hated hating me, Marco.
For no other reason!

and in some unordinary fashion'

...the indregients are:
TI-ME

Blue

...

Light.


Flashing over me.
I'm Melting.

Melt me... now

-melt me.

Watch me-

melt.

Melting.

I've melted.

Already.

sweety pop / private moments

and unspecific replacement of these words;
that begin in reality-checking. The ultimate voice.


I felt so safe and cozy
in the bed today
with you my sex kitty.
That I love.
Tanya -
you vixen.
You beautiful, beautiful lover.
A generous offer of my words;
for the opposite' of my bedside.
You lay next to me.

And my dream scenario is that we sizzle like
boiling sweet rich thick
chocolate
ice cream.

On the highest mountain

on earth's great land.
I pry to pray upon.
Be with the night stars.
Marco -
take off the belt in no danger.
And remove the tie.
It's time to pray a lullaby.

in this spirit of dreams...

I have wandered.
I have asked myself to hold her secretly.
Upon nothing else I find as true, tanya has.
And for the further I proclaim my love;
I go backwards.
I move into the shape of my port-wine.
while I let in her love.
while I forget the devil charming -laughed.
As I travel this spirit of dreams. - . - . - .

the hobby of my prof-fession

I feed off of this instinct for you, Marco.
I love it!
The Tanya I know adores.
In the deepest part of this forest of dreams...
lay claim to 'know' mystery.'
And how well I've been founded on this ladder.
An escape exit?
Nowhere I clam for such wreckage on.

when absurdity hidden' beneath

... there's a fashion for continuing.
( No narrative.)
Only the finest of gifts.
Riding on horse back,
Marco.

Super model extrodinaire

I want you to tear my heart out; and
show it to me, Marco!
I want you to love her like you've never
loved anyone.
Truly anyone else.
You're the best.
Tanya.
Tanya. -
Teaching a pigeon to fly?
And I mask this . . .
wearing black.
I'd give you the shirt off my back,
dear lover of mine.
I see you on the catwalk.
I share my disappointment.
Marco.

Permission Granted

I've recieved you - spiritually.
This labor of love;
not lost so.
...
. . .
My genuine nature -
filled with burning desire . . .
completed, Marco.
But above all
Im relieved-
Tanya my love.
Sharing this
great-dissapointing
true sell.
Swelling -
swelling.
Tampered.

Mercy - ...in real time'

Covered in tracks...
this crossfire of emotions.
Blankets.
Grading my responsibility.
That behavior;
personality.
To kill.
On board.
To board the ship -
and
exit.
I've happened ...-
not to realize
or completely understand.
My inhibitions to dream.
All in the alphapetical order of tightening;
knots.
That you surrender, Marco.
In captivity.
With you Tanya.
'Tanya.
My love/.
A'
a sweet look that your life gives.
Marco I have the power.
Sweet heaven.
I'm more tempted to resist thinking
anything.
But to sail the ship of dreams
isn't a mechanism.

There's no power greater'

The imagination is more important then
knowledge?
Fine Einstein.
Then tell me about rejection.
The behavior that modifies a contect
to reasoning.
I contest the context we're in.

My darling, Tanya.

Heart Attacking

I've made this a conscious effort.
Unlike'
the past.

But I have a nose for heart ache.

My sweat is largely vulnerable
to such novelty of confession.
But marco...
yes - Marco.

You very well know that when Jesus listens.

And in this arena between thought and a -
pardox.

The man in you.
Met me.

Perhaps another idea of not backing down.
Or -
perhaps another idea of failure to present my true
feelings.

What I truly feel - is the thought of how passionate
I have been blessed with.

Do I have any idea of losing control over emotions;
the battle of crying like a boy for who I have no candy.

No candy for you little boy. What are you. Crying.

Marco doesn't cry like that anymore. A man of few.

There's a fork in the road
that I followed to get here again.

Tanya.

No longer a victim.
I refuse to answer.

And I feel it in me.

The answer: is to survive.
No loss prevention.

Now I hear my ego talking back.
The answer(s) I used to give.
You're not worth it, marco.
Marco, you'll never be good enough.
Stop trying so hard.

Tonight I instead participate in the ruins of
my emotions set free.

God willing, the height of my emotions.

Joy.

Marco.

Amen -

P.S. The scent of a flower implodes all sensibility I have.
Remembering to act anonymous.

The psychiatrists chair'

You there.
Yes, over there.
I see you in the reflection of my mirror.
Now that?
Not yet this!
I am too old for child play.
So. . .
what if the reader has heart trouble.

Avalanche and frost bite

This is an untitled view of the hemisphere.
I told myself what not to expect.
And what else then to expect?
You masochist of words.
You sadistic evil weather.

Killing time

Something told me to write this out front.
In the field of time.
Where no time exists!?
But listening to the sadness;
that echoing sound.
LISTEN.

From the depth of my shadow-figure are. . .
bones -licking my skull. . .
inches of the image.

Inches - inches.

My "no mystery" beyond time.

This conscious framework of sanity.
Longevity.
Personal refuge of emotional suffering.

It all began here.
And now I needn't rest.

The weather is fine.

It's killing time.

Entitlement of a conventional minded person...

The individual.
What a mark!
Wondering aloud.
No wondering allowed?
It wanders off...'

The secret in its' original context;
no less than a tragedy.

My dear sweet Tanya.

The sweet smell of the earth thickens;
a plot I created in this voice of mine.
That filled'.
Fills.
Filling my own self without air which
cannot escape!

What kind of knowledge is this:
not factual.

My - prestige. Is - pristine.

I pick up pieces of her
heart.
In winter months I count the
days down.
Day by day.

Pink snowflakes.

Reverse psychology.

And these clown shoes...

The ground swelling beneath my feet.
As I live to tell a lie -
that will surface.

An aimless perfume.

There's no danger -
in anger.

My guardian angel.

The travel arrangements;
are getting to be -
expensive.

Free of courtesy. . .

I won't ever
give
it
up.

Walking on air

I above...
the tight rope of emotions.
Thebreathing
angel.
The breathing-
heartbeat.

And this happiness eludes.

All of these ANGELS...
-in my head!
Short of breath?
Natercia.

Natercia my sweet godmother;
how I love you.
I do.
How I love - you.

Tricking the mind after chess-playing ...all day long'

And it was after I realized
that night
was falling faster then - ever.

Tanya and I were on a rollercoaster.

But in a room empty with crowded horses.

We made love there.

That it was fantastic is...
true.

Perhaps all the hyperbole of
Deus ex machina -
would only respond?!

I have no place for skills
only rules I've learned.

But Tanya - I know she loves me dearly.

And the effort I have to succeed in life/...
makes her my destiny.

And in a word,
the only name I speak of
when I think of her voice.

Is in heaven coming down to me from the sky.

Tanya - spells - her name.

"My name is Tanya, Marco."

I Wipe Her Tears Away.

If angels looked at me with such daring eyes
the world in my view
could only resemble how
beautiful god,
god had made "Tanya."

Only tears for a thought,
Marco thinks'
for a moment...
.

Tanya comforts me with her presence.

And heaven -yes

heaven.

Spells her name.

Doubling Down

Its' happened again!
This time its' been happening -
not only before I fall asleep.
Pain - agony.
This was needing to happen?

Although in reality color exists as not
-in dreams.

But only in dreams can the brain create freely;
openly.

The language is dead.
My god - language.

the sensitive dramaturgy

I've never looked beyond my means;
for shallow water.
I do consider the mind - no
wastefield of emotions.
I harbor.
And yet I will...
protect.
And yet I will
- shield.
And yet I will -
love.

For better or worse.

That nothing is unnecessarily happening!?

Amen.

Hours of my own disatisfying insanity -

I usually get this anxious and nervous.
But never have I thought about asking why.
Perhaps the only reason we're put here.
Is to realize why -
why we exist in this lifetime.
Ours.

a shorter breath of my commanding'

music in the background?
a poker table...
but I don't like poker.

where am i

what! what -
am i
looking at.

god / devil

A ring is on the table...

the devil - "they compromised your only son."
god - "yes, they sacrificed him"

choices. Choices.

...on the edge of neverland'

Its' been perfect.
- Everything.
Is perfect.

Deep sea diving...
in my head.

But Space angels?

Forgive me if I'm wrong.
But since when did god send us angels;
and lets be honest!

From where I take it.

There's a little bit of nothing left
in every lie/.

And the joke is on you.
Marco.

Hahahaha-
HAHAHAHA.

a brief encounter of the kind

I've never met a'
more
generous human being -
in my life.

-And I'll be happy to remain!

I haven't met a more
generous
human being
in my
life.

the contributing effects of a ineffective personality complex

I attribute my character to no lack of conflict.
But I am however....
quite the comedian.
Although nobody likes it.
That sense of comedy?
That doesn't make any sense!
( That it' did.)
That its' done.

But rare.

Rarely do I fail to recongnize the laughter-without.

And how unfunny I really am.

- Because the truth isn't left for what is / real.

What I see in pretending to be rational -
is quite not what I had in mind.

For this reason-
I know...
some are oblivious-
while others "attitude"
unaware.

Flying first class

This is my guilty pleasure...
getting so much closer.
That the sky is falling.

( It makes it -)

that you feel
...somewhere else.
A place that's -
that I feel.

But I run no risk!

Feeling bad about myself.

And christ.

I've become blind?
Haven't I.

Not if to be uninterested

Shakespeare-
you like me.
Suspended in laughter!
No doubt -that.
Instead you
-you
purge me.

You've been purged.

As to say: listening'
you were-
- impulsive.

Where are the

I have no memory of the event!
I have no memory...
But many thoughts of you?

Time - and again.

The truth turns into grains of painful-less suffering.

And the mind.

However, great things have yet not-
happ-ened.

Perhaps in another sweet moment'
thinking about how wise I am.

Bad intuition

In this context,
I feel...
I am spoiled.

Cross walking Panda's

The consequence -
of my skills . . .
that don't require
great meaning
I hit on my pillow-
rested is my head;
for the base
of ( -acting.)

Was ( it) nothing-
but then became something ...
like knowledge only ( factual.).

This-is '...the "source" of other walls.

Verse 1

Such candid moments.

If I weren't
-to make
any... false prediction?

( "At a time!" )

It wasn't here.

The TIME-
is nearing
my - ends.

Of motivation.

Though if love-
as in
a language.


Verse 2

My own.

"Tanya."

Tanya...

I say-
yes.

Yes my love.

I said this in
a language.

Yet my voice...
my voice.-
is all that's
needed
to comprehend.

And in everything found;
not in everything.
A dictionary of words?!


Verse 3

That no amount of direct
knowledge-
nor;
Knowledge in words.
( Founded in dictionary.
Or novel.)

Tanya - my love.
-My love...
may you hear me
speak only -
in words of love/
praise/
affection/
HUMILATED
and explosive dynamite.
My IMAGINATION! -wonders-
aloud!

To project-
my only image.


Verse 4

And Tanya -
on days like these. . .
somber- -I wake.

Let me remember
writing this /
these sweet words.

A love poem -
for you.

That sickness as in
health - my undying
love.

That only doves can endure:

I LOVE YOU, TANYA.
TANYA-
TANYA . . .
THAT MY EXPLOSIVE
IMAGINATION
directs
( . . .my memory ) for you
Tanya.


Verse 5

That no love is-
found incompleted.
That our love can-
surrender to us.

To us-
Tanya.

And - oh how! - that . . .
you Tanya;
your sweet name
is like a rose.

That the dictionary
cannot define . . .
but in only dreams.

Like only dreams
do - WORDS . . .
'DO' WORDS(.)

That words - only
may exist.

'TANYA'


Verse 6

Tanya -
upon. '

Upon which all words
do conceal
my true love.

My true image -
chanelling my true image of me.
. . .my true image.
of-
you
Tanya.

That the stars fill the night sky
might not shine;
and only do they gather
together in the heavens
because of
you
Tanya.


Verse 7

( That . . . - that your name. ) - Tanya

Changed everything . . .

re-arranged ( ( the dictionary ) )

re-affirmed ( ( my belief ) )

. . .

. . . only ( in-) to -
- be found
- FOUND -
in ( my-) dreaming.

In my dreams.

You, Tanya.

Take a trip- -
down this . . .
ISLE.

The isle of dreaming ;
things
- these
things
are inside.

That are-


Verse 8

within us.

Tanya - shall we
call the crib'
an island.

Of majesty-

truth and honor . . .
peacful tranquility
on a
sailboat . . .
of emotions.

Sailing- sailing-
/away.

Everything already has
Everything already-
has.
Changed.
. . .
Changed.
Again
-


Verse 9

This adaptation -
the truth ( . . .of words)
A weight- of
the world
entering a universe
on its own.

Tanya.


Changing - are we
( not?) ????

That the fact is
true.

Only you, Tanya.
Only you.

Can do this!!!



Verse 10

That all words

...

each and -
every.

A dream
is found.

We are running idle;
a candel lit flickers.

Brown sugar

I'm a powerful psychic
that converts...
-into many
too many.

And - chestnuts...
a chestnut falls!

CRASH.

As I lick you to pieces.

No- superficial apathy.

Pickles dipped I try with honey - there's plenty there are...

I do...
to verify this unwanted
Warning.

Thought I not?!

But in the bathing of champagne;
I sip on.

My rhetoric-reasoning. (the rheteroic of...)
The flavor of an "insensitive" human-being;
in the narrative/.
For reasoning ability:

Was I ever
-i
really?

Really. -
/

On the last line of each paragraph (.)

Each paragraph begins contextual.

In a sensual voice that whispers.
Whispering - voices.

The voice is -whispering!

Whisper-ing!

To surrender.

Tanya...
the context of a lover(s) -will.

The context of a bride.
In the context of love/ and ability.

My neurotic - sad eyes.

(( My eyes are sad no longer. ))

Mine are.

Enemy rock star

There's "non-threatening"
/hat/red.

This extension of
myself;

I've held-off.

The' where-
love fills-
my air,

This struggle;
my own suffering...
of a
high -
cabin fever.

A a-witness

The panic
though ( not... )

TO AVOID

...comes the

-me

mo-

-ry

A velvet rose garden

There is such a thing as in love.
But three times the weight
-before that time it hit.

I've not done the worst I could if not to survive
the breath of an angel.

And the eyes
THE -eyes.

This longing.

Winter Machines

Born in the religion of sainthood;
probably best not to quit.
( Though generally speaking. )
Gravity.

epic

epic

epic

epic

epic

epic

epic

epic

epic

epic

epic

epic

epic

epic

epic

epic (love poem) Nov 13-17

d-day

pull-ing refinement

for refinement sake
no- seriously!

You drove me.

To the

GROUND-
BELOW.

Sub-zero.

Temperatures

And a - a - wall of fire!?

( On this occassion... )

I've always seen my refinement is
of quality - not status.

A waLL of FiRe-

God willing...
as often
does.

I do "Nots"
-
for fear without
being as proper.

Very, very- very
'unaccusing of me.

I remaining as'

The part I came to understand
perhaps needed reasoning;
but it failed?

I never got everything right the first
time.

I tried!

The first time becomes easy to go through.

However, insecure.

After my breath stinks this badly-

Before I brush my teeth-
I think of objects in the mirror!
It's like I'm televising my
own personal experience...
thoughts.

Now I never thought-
about what might help
explain it?

My mind.
Plays tricks on me.
But am I-
AM I.

( Not really there. )
Happening in front of nowhere.

Tanya.

That I'd never lower my standards.
Learning how to raise the stakes is.

That you've taught me:
I embrace

I collect

I entertain the thoughts for a moment.

And listen as I speak - spoken thoughts.

In a whirlwind of emotion.'

''''''''''''


To offer:
the most prized possession of.

I require nothing.

Nothing has gone.

My low self esteem harsh-
harsshhhh

and...

bees honey.

Dripping...

On my brow!?

To slick my eyebrows once over
with fine honey golden-brown.

Bronze - I want to bronze my;
my expressions.
My tastes.
My wishes.

Because I can.

The human motivation for ambition

Jesus-
I know you like I KNOW
no- other.

And in times of me "needing"
I needing the breast of your undying
nature.

Comes with it?!
Rejection
-rejection.

Of my name oh lord.
This i pray oh Lord.
lord

But in times of false inhibition
I wore respect on the sleeve...
you own respect, Marco.

You speak to me, Marco.

You speak to ME-
oh lord.

And in this quiet
quiet.

I forgive thee oh lord.

You forgive me-
oh lord.

But it sounds like what the devil hasn't;
yet.

I have a preference of a willingness
to succeed-
in all things with a smile.

To ( do ) not expect the apology

You are.
A mother of all words?
The mother of all saints!
( But not. )
Never have I imagined...
my commitment.
My intentions ARE real;
don't "nothing" me.
My intentions are real.
My intentions ARE real.
My intentions ARE real.
And (I) habit-
will.
My habit-
of will.
Intentions are-
real.

Reminded of detention...
UNPLUGGED.

Adopting the Orphan

I'm of a far greater parody;
this distance between you Marco!
But how wonderful the day;
You've provided.'
-A dog with a bone.
I can feel in my BONES.
Hat on stilts-
my body.

Now enter the cage, and-
laugh instead.

LAUGH.

Great you're now leader, a leader
among men - how many?

Not that you imitate well
the giant within.

A marriage between the implant-
you're watery...
watery - eyes.

A less than self conscious appreciation

Happiness is a choice.
I want people to like me.
That doesn't mean that everyone
...will like me.'
( As long as I like-
myself. )
That's all that matters.

Greater > shadows : of death (...that this is a love poem; a poem of love.)

In the valley...
in the greater!!

In the Greater Valley?

THERE, OVER THERE-
IT IS.

IT ISN'T!

My shadowing death;
in a tree yard.

Though my beautiful sweet Tanya,
lays with me.
Like in our own daring comfort.
Though greatly subdued...
as I read her my soft tender loving poetry.
Love poems for you Tanya.
My dear-est.

And in warm icy winters
that warn of us.

Perhaps the sun has turned into ice,
and melted the snow bearing us to god.

But on nights like in bedrooms
filled with stars outside
shinning in through a window pane!?

Nothing can change that... nothing -
NOTHING.

( But I feel a calm storm breeze. )

To shed a tear, to share each tear like
a crop of wheat harvested.

In the shadow of death;
it's better that I have an
ARMY.

An army to call-
of my own silk.

I don't know Marco.
Marco, I don't KNOW.
I DON'T KNOW, Marco.

You get pretty scary.

Things get pretty scary.

PERFECTIONIST.

Canceled.

But what this means is-
I accept what I am.
Who I am NOT
being canceled.
You are perfection, Marco.

To think!!
If we -understand
this is...
THIS IS-
CORRECT.

"I'm thinking of a lot about my
future with Tanya.
She's giving me a chance
to sort out what I
need to happen.
That being said she's
"officially"
my girl.
And she's all I ever
needed."

These are my own greater
voices -
voices in the shadows...
the shadow in a valley
of
death.

The least superficial

I've fucking hated it.

You're condescending
superficial tone -
and that playing of
position you crawl...
like babies crawl.

( But through it all. )

I became somebody.

Much more.

More then you ever thought possible since
that day.

It wasn't a staged event

The night before he died,
Christ lay in his shadow.

Every shadow on the face of the earth
came down upon him?

But these images of the devil did not fool him!

Perjury of habits and lies.

Thank you for your understanding me

Today was like any other. I broke a sweat.
And the transfer of these images...
forced me to think.

The unbelievability.

This the reality of calm
sensations.

A sensuality.

With butter thoughts?
Butter THOUGHTS!

Better.

Not to be purged upon.
NO.
Do not be purged upon.

Those sweet buttery thoughts.
Of you Tanya.

Oh Tanya, my love.

And the great frost bites in this Winnipeg winter solice.

But give me strength, Marco.
I give you the power.

I saw myself getting through to him

Faker.
He was faking it!
The faker.
I did get to him...
Though many times -
many times.
A time I said:
"Jesus Christ".
( And a period at the end of a sentence. )
Two faces of superstition you dismiss.

Fear ( not ) for the weeping

She's dying
She's dying
She's dying
and my legs are so weak -
I'm crying.

The surprises that are in store

For you -
I dare not.

But on terms of my curiosity.

Friends of night owls.

And night in loom.

Not the owl.

connection reached

conventional mind setting
I stay on the line
for a piece of action
that I wear.

(On the colder nights.)

I might decide to remain indoors?!
But I never drastically assumed you liked
me.

"Rebuilt" : Rebuilding in the making of prophecy

I don't know my middle name
as-for-you.
What tension emerges
coming you
through me.
(Is a Surface level.)
No REASON!
Fuck?

Enduring Temptation ( Taking... hold of the villain. )

My skill and determination
will overcome evil
all that is good.

Satisfaction -
doesn't fail to animate me!

- Or my abhorrence?
- Abhorrent selfish nature...

Secure in letting myself devour,
or;
not to be devoured in thoughts of emotionless -
reasoning.

Furthest to popular belief
remains candid in my approach to
control cultural storming weather.

Upon which I cannot be purged upon.'

A funeral for the - "wicked" (more than less fortunate)

Since the beginning of time, the bible wrote of a resurrection... but there was never a warranty attached. Commodity in the sale of death is hardly damning. Far beneath the sands are hours and hours of eternity. Like a house. Haunted with conformity. But the scales of fish and the smell of death. A door to the hollow room, is frozen shut. I reinvent. The reincarnate. And in the future, whatever goes beyond my own borders... a simple possibility. If you were on fire, (deliberately) set on fire, and totally inept.

The rights of desiring a chance for life. We exist? We do our most.

Not to be the victim!

The frozen garden (...the shadow's frozen)

A little bit of nothing
wasn't what - feeling
is like (it)!?

There's ( a mystery on...
as "it" involves traits
devoid of personality.)

There's a little bit
of always
in anything.

But never -
never I.

I do believe...
(in everything.)

Therefore chives - and - honey
are inexpensive
(to) taste.

B E L I E V E

Not to rationalize
how paranoia - should be.
Rather what paranoia should feel.

From my frozen garden...

I still / still / yes still

Dream of camelot!
Yes ...
-
yes
yes-

I still dream of camelot.'

Yes - I sit here still.

No need my love!?

( My love. )

We move on - forward.
I've these crazy thoughts
that the world is
an
ABOMINATION.

Only to feel it crumble into rich creamy...

Halucination.

Back on the horse's tail.
BACK -
is a long way to HELL.

Climbing mountains
to reach the height of
destiny.

My longevity is nearing.

And I climb,
keep climbing
HIGHER.

But money - finances
are not in the flames of burning
desire.

Instead, the opportunity of
each and every other
plot thickens.

The plot thickens,
as I waited as
a child.

For Kris Kringle.

And after arriving through the chimny.

I would get on my knees -
DOWN ON KNEES
and pray.

This act of penance -
an accordian players nightmare.

Burning chestnuts on an open fire.
Roasting the freezing ice capade
on everest.

Climbing the mountain,
only to reach the summit.

And I climb down,
upon my knees and I
pray.

Burnt chestnuts.
Death to the chestnut.
Death to the chestnut.
Death to the chestnut.

I climbed.
I roasted.
I then prayed for it.