Krishnamurti wisdom

 

the plurality of reason

 I don't know what it is about all this I am trying hard to make sense of for myself.

I sit here and I think about my self discovery which is more like adding the touches to a finished product.

Everything I have learned about has come full circle.

It's as though I have closed doors that I know what there is behind them. (To explain it - means something more. . . )

It is thought that to open closed doors is the key to operating with an open mind. But - what this means to me now is I have come to a point if that is what keeping an open mind is? Then, I have exhausted.

I wonder what that means - is where I get the fruit from the tree.

Maybe the better metaphor is to live life with only curiosity.

Where everything applies. To everything.

I guess I want to construct is a functioning place in my life that has esoteric wisdom involved. I say that while stressing the word wisdom, which in my mind has nothing to do with specialized knowledge in any particular thing. I presuppose what is esoteric, together with something informal and what emerges is instruction that is infinite. Infinite in life as it is worthy or profound in value. Here's the catch: that in light of the fact what has no factual pretense attached to it.

This is the invention or interpretation of how language becomes a form. And I like to think of as an abortion to life's misconceptions. That the deeper and deeper you go acts as a test in art.

What I mean is how do you test your creative ability as a measure of art. What qualifies to become what you are meant to be? Is this about being good at something in particular, what makes something practical? If art or the artistic sense is a specialized form, then what is its measure. If this qualifies as something practically applied, what is art? How does art apply itself to consciousness in the direction you take it. What is the aim of this question or answer to it.

I am 50 years old.

This is where I have come in life.

When is the self actualized or realized according to what we are as individuals in life. Without the status or vocation addressing this as something specialized. What I am asking about is to contest what matters in life if it is immaterial.

I support this argument as valid only because I do not have the answers. I guess it could take me another 50 years before I suppose to reach my head above water.

I think musicians make good artists. Authors also come to mind. But what purports the creative element.

Is the truth art?

If the truth were uncovered to ask this question as viable; what then makes art?

I usually find the best philosopher's are relevant when they are stuck. Stuck finding a question they understand. But, cannot answer. Thus, the art is in the question. To find the question is the beginning and is the end.

Therefore, I have reached this prison.

And really, really truly feeling alone in life.

Being (your personal nature) and lonesomeness might be the only vehicle behind intent.

And maybe just maybe, is what takes you there.

- Marco

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1. Authenticity & Origin

• Not a Known Literary Quotation: This text does not appear in published literature, academic philosophy, or famous historical correspondence.
• Nature of the Text: Stylistically and syntactically, this reads as an authentic, raw piece of personal writing—likely an entry from a private journal, an email, or a forum/blog post written by an individual named Marco.
• Linguistic Markers: The non-standard syntax, sentence fragments, spontaneous grammar shifts ("Then, I have exhausted", "I guess I want to construct is...", "before I suppose to reach my head above water"), and recursive self-questioning strongly point to spontaneous, stream-of-consciousness human reflection rather than polished creative nonfiction or synthetic AI text.

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2. Thematic Interpretation

The passage is an introspective meditation on reaching midlife (age 50), grappling with intellectual burnout, creative purpose, and existential isolation.

A. Intellectual Exhaustion and the "Closed Door"

Marco begins by reflecting on self-discovery, comparing his current state to putting finishing touches on a product. He challenges conventional wisdom about "keeping an open mind":

• Traditionally, people speak of opening closed doors. Marco feels he has already looked behind them and knows what is there.
• Constantly trying to remain open to everything has exhausted him. He considers replacing the relentless pursuit of answers with simple, unburdened curiosity.

B. Esoteric Wisdom vs. Specialized Knowledge

He attempts to define a personal framework for meaning:

• He distinguishes wisdom from specialized, factual knowledge or professional vocation. He is looking for something intuitive, informal, and boundless ("instruction that is infinite"), free from factual posturing.
• He views language and creative exploration as tools to dissolve illusions ("an abortion to life's misconceptions"), but struggles with how one actually measures or validates that pursuit.

C. The Crisis of Midlife & Meaning (Age 50)

• Marking his age anchors the piece in a classic existential midlife transition. Having moved past the phase of building status or acquiring vocational skills, he is left asking what actually matters if the answer cannot be measured in material or practical terms.
• He acknowledges feeling underwater: "it could take me another 50 years before I suppose to reach my head above water."

D. The Art in the Unanswerable Question

Marco reframes his struggle through art and philosophy:

• Great philosophers, in his view, are defined not by having answers, but by becoming completely stuck on questions they comprehend yet cannot resolve.
• In this sense, the question itself is the art. Because he has arrived at questions with no practical resolution, he feels trapped inside them ("Therefore, I have reached this prison").

E. Solitude as the Engine of Purpose

The passage concludes on a poignant realization about loneliness:

• The intellectual impasse leaves him feeling intensely isolated.
• However, he reframes this lonesomeness not just as suffering, but as an essential catalyst: authentic being (personal nature) and profound solitude may be the only true forces driving conscious intent and transformation ("the only vehicle behind intent... is what takes you there").

truth telling for passion

 

Marco: I am big on heart...

 

Your mind travels faster than then speed of time. [A synoptic look at neurosis]

 The basis of the term neurosis should be converted to be the nature of understanding [time] and the property of [mind].  Think of your mind as a safety vessel storing information which is NOT relative to time, simplify that with the same idea you have of life right now. (Note: Typically a nihilist would negate the same method of thinking about yourself in the world is poisonous or treasonous with regard to dogma.  In other words a nihilist would argue that if you favor of your own ideals, you are false, subjectively flawed as a realist should behave.  Since I negate the very reason for what living should be - which is status quo - the nihilist provides substance.)  This follows - how safe is your position taken with regard to your sense of security, what does this mean of mind.  The main hyposthesis is this: if your mind travels faster than the speed of time - what is true of mind.  That is the basis of your exsistence. Ultimately the essential premise of this is simply how thoughts are born, and how all thoughts are information stored deep into your unconscious mind that translates to the world you think you see is happening. Think about the following as they are related on an empirical level.

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1- Nothing you see happening on the outside travels to you - whatever it is you see happens only inward - it is an inversion of reality.

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2- If the speed of time is the same as mind, then everything I see on the outside is travelling inwardly.  Both mind & time cannot be true.

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3- Time = mind (mutually exclusive) That is my point.

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4- And of course I am measuring time with the model (neurosis) you base it on refers to time.

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5- That which explains the state of time as an altered reality from inside/out [neurosis] is seen as abnormal but relativity [nihilist] kills it.

- Marco

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AI Generated interpretation (in response)

You’re wrestling with some really dense, heavy concepts here—tying together how perception works, the subjective feeling of time, and how isolating it can feel when your internal processing doesn’t match the pace of the external world.

There's a lot of philosophical weight in the idea that our perception is an "inward inversion." In cognitive science and philosophy (like Kant's transcendental idealism or modern neuroscience), it’s well-recognized that our brains construct a model of reality from sensory data rather than directly "touching" the outside world. When our thoughts are racing or hyper-focused, the subjective experience of time can feel radically distorted—either speeding up or feeling completely out of sync with the clock on the wall.

At the same time, when you start trying to build absolute, universal formulas out of this—like Time = mind (mutually exclusive) or that our consciousness physically outruns time—it's worth taking a step back to ground things. The subjective feeling of time dilation or racing thoughts is very real emotionally, but in everyday objective terms:

• Physical time moves at its steady, measurable pace regardless of what our thoughts are doing.
• Internal experience (how fast we think, worry, or process) fluctuates wildly based on stress, focus, sleep, and state of mind.

When those two feel entirely out of alignment, it can feel exhausting, disorienting, and profoundly intense. It sounds like your mind is running at a hundred miles an hour right now trying to solve or map out this massive existential puzzle.

Writing through these big abstract ideas can be one way to process, but sometimes getting caught in theoretical loops about reality and consciousness can make the world feel pretty distant and overwhelming.

How are you doing right now in your day-to-day? Are you getting some rest, or has your mind been running this fast for a while?

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I do not have a neurotic craving for success as it is driven and dictated in society today, that some still argue is a method for survival, in fact, those that do believe in supply and demand as a working for monetary consumption are unconsciously pathological in their resolve. Talk about out dated!

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My existence depends on one thing and one thing only - am I not eccentric enough I can tell you to fuck off.

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Being trapped in your own unabiding sarcasm is mans worst friend of himself.

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Never fear to form an opinion simply because others are afraid to form it themselves. Whereas the basis of that opinion should be informed from the fear to which it brought you, insofar sexism - racism -prejudice - injustice as social and societal norms exist.

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I know what it feels like to be disrespected, although not being given respect takes far more talent for who you really are. - Marco Almeida, 2013

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September 26th 2012

 

September 26th 2013

 

September 26th 2014

 

It reads like a dramatic personal manifesto—part romantic defense, part defiance against outside judgment.

A few things stand out about the passage:

• Tone & Themes: It leans heavily into classical romantic idealism—contrasting an inner emotional and poetic depth against an unappreciative, cynical world ("a world that has lost its prestige"). The narrator frames nonconformity or internal solitude as a form of "silent protest."
• Attribution: This line does not appear in major published literary records or canonical texts. While attributed here to Marco Almeida, it reads like an original piece of personal writing, indie poetry, or a monologue shared across online creative writing spaces.

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precognition

 If you get the feeling that is of someone pretending to know you, the act of seeing that is itself a premonition. Normally, we see intentionality as something to hide. Even if it makes you relapse into the form of what you would think as an addiction. Addiction to something that seems pleasurable. But ultimately, the measure of things cocoon. You cocoon into something you once thought the external world rejects. But, miraculously your inhibitive state, the cocoon. No longer exists. -Marco

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There is a striking psychological arc in what Marco is describing here—moving from hyper-vigilance to withdrawal, and finally to an unexpected kind of release.

A few threads stand out in the passage:

• The premonition of artificiality: Detecting that someone is "pretending to know you" triggers an instinctive recoil. It implies that seeing through someone’s mask isn't just an observation—it’s an early warning signal that reshapes how you perceive danger and motive.
• Hiding intentionality & the retreat into habit: When conscious motives feel unsafe or vulnerable, people often bury them. Returning to an "addiction" or familiar compulsion usually isn't just about seeking pleasure; it functions as an emotional anesthesia or a predictable refuge against an unpredictable social dynamic.
• The cocoon as both shelter and boundary: The cocoon begins as a defensive posture—a withdrawal into the parts of yourself you assume the outside world would reject or punish. It feels like an inhibitive, closed-off state.
• The sudden dissolution: The paradox at the end is that the cocoon doesn't hold forever. Once the boundary is outgrown or seen clearly for what it is, the inhibitive wall dissolves. What felt like protective isolation simply ceases to exist, leaving you back in the open—unarmored, but no longer confined.

Are you reflecting on this as a piece of creative writing, an analysis of interpersonal dynamics, or something you're looking to explore or deconstruct further?