Confessions of a second class citizen (good will as its nature's narrative)

 February 8th 2013

‎"There is a luxury in self-reproach. When we blame ourselves, we feel that no one else has a right to blame us. It is the confession, not the priest, that gives us absolution."-- Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

 

re; self-reproach 

 

I especially love how the intent of people that only become ignorant of themselves, grow to be unfamiliar in the principle of real understanding, much rather abuse it, than cause their manner evident of concern. (MA2013)

 

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A quick-tempered man does foolish things, & a crafty man is hated. -Prov 14:17

 

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Yes - a definite blast to the past. How I miss the times which were less fickle. Where has it all gone, how does it belong. Unbelievable to be a part of a generation, from that our parents wanted a better life, which now is dispelled. You see the true colors of what was then, now is black on white as if an ancient canvas. Such a pity to paint that picture, where the gap between then and now has fizzled.

 

I have always respected you Raquel. I will always have your back despite what is prevalent today, from the traced circle I left behind that since came through to us.

Powerful stuff my friend. Powerful stuff.<p> </p>I remember these times well - made sense. <p> </p>

xoxo (Marco Almeida)

 

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Marco updated his status.

2:56pm

"I love how I make people feel worthy about themselves but take exception to that. It is the oldest trick in the book."

 

 

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Marco updated his status.

2:52pm

"Accept me, know me, want me, give me, based on what I feel, not on your idea of credential."

 

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Marco updated his status.

2:48pm

"‎"So remember the day I realized I had allowed others to define me. That day when I asked, "Who are you?" "What do you want?" I was liberated from a trance." (Donna Wisel, 2013) 

 

Marco updated his status.

2:42pm

"

“Most of us are not raised to actively encounter our destiny. We may not know that we have one. As children, we are seldom told we have a place in life that is uniquely ours alone. Instead, we are encouraged to believe that our life should somehow fulfill the expectations of others, that we will (or should) find our satisfactions asthey have found theirs. Rather than being taught to ask ourselves who we are, we are schooled to ask others. We are, in effect, trained to listen to others' versions of ourselves. We are brought up inour life as told to us by someone else! When we survey our lives, seeking to fulfill our creativity, we often see we had a dream thatwent glimmering because we believed, and those around us believed,that the dream was beyond our reach. Many of us would have been, orat least might have been, done, tried something, if...If we had known who we really were.”~ Julia Cameron ~" 

 

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Marco updated his status.

1:23pm

"I love the way people dismiss me that at times, they judge you based not on what you feel, but how you think, then pretend not to exist so to act as if they have."

 

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Marco updated his status.

1:10pm

"Here is the truth about acting, if you are not making it about yourself, then you have no right to do it. If you are making it about the other person,then you are faking it. If you fail to create an intimate dynamic, then you mimicked a character."

 

 

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Marco updated his status.

12:42pm

"Last night was worse then the love of your life in bed as a prostitute."

 

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Marco updated his status.

12:35pm

"I understand not everyone has to think the same as I do, what I cannot accept is that my epistemology is rejected on no uncertain terms. This is what separates me from people that generalize everything in life, when it is a critical amount of forethought that is required, displacing those values."

 

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(end)

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". . .despite what is prevalent today, from the traced circle I left behind that since came through to us." - All I meant there is that reality today is not so much different, because I 'traced a circle' to know the difference between then and now. I have learned a lot about myself through the needs of others. Dive into the circle as if a hole resurrected from the depths of time, travel, search and rescued.

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"If you are working on something exciting that you really care about, you don't have to be pushed. The vision pulls you." - Steve Jobs

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"To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable."

-- Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

"Heaven forbid that I should die en route, as always happens to the man who fails to find what he is searching for in life. The man who took the wrong route and chise the wrong name." - Saramago, Manual of Painting & Calligraphy

When fear comes knocking at your door, you must answer it with faith. Nothing else is effective against it.

"... I learn to narrate life, moreover in the first person, and in this way I try to understand the art of penetrating this veil of words and ordering the insights words provide."

"But once having copied out a text, I am prepared to affirm that everything which has been written is a lie." - Saramago, Manual of Painting & Calligraphy

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"a1.1 Writing in the first person is an advantage, but it is also akin to amputation. a1.2 We are told what is happening in the presence of the narrator, what he is thinking (should he wish to divulge his thoughts), a1.3 what he is saying and doing and what those who are with him are saying and doing, but not what they are thinking, except when what is said coincides with what is thought, a1.4 and this is something about which no one can be certain. a1.5 If my friends were characters out of a novel written not by me or one of them but by a third party other than ourselves (the author), each one of us would only have to read this novel in order to become as omniscient as the author himself presumes to be. And so, since they a1.6 are as real as I am and a1.7 just as reserved or a1.8 not so open that others might a1.9 truly say "I know," and because I a2.0 can only convey some of my thoughts in this narrative which is not a novel, a2.1 I resign myself to ignorance, to the impenetrable a2.2 nature of faces and a2.3 the words those faces utter a2.4 (it is the faces that speak, the faces that understand), a2.5 and I shall go on speaking about my friends without knowing what they are thinking, a2.6 but only what they are saying and doing. a2.7 And even then on condition that they say and do it in my presence, otherwise I shall never know whether they are telling the truth about what they did and said when I was not there. And if they were to tell me any of this a2.8 I should have no way of knowing whether they a2.9 had agreed among themselves what they would tell me if they should testify on behalf of each other. a3.0 If this narrative were not in the first person, I should have found it an even better way of deceiving myself. a3.1 In this way I should be able to imagine every thought as well as every action and word, and in putting them all together a3.2 I would believe in the truth of everything, a3.3 even in any inherent falsehood, because that falsehood, too, would be true. a3.4 The real falsehood is what is unknown a3.5 and not what was merely formulated in accordance. With that hundreth of the hundred ways of formulating what one normally calls a lie."

(Pg95-96 Saramago, Manual of Painting & Calligraphy)

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Marco Almeida

Just now · 

The answer as to why Marco Almeida has himself been hired, what is the answer to his prayers as a self-professed writer.

"This business about writing and thinking about what you are writing. I only saw you as a painter." "A bad one." "I never said that." "But it's what you are thinking. It's what everyone thinks." (Pg98 Saramago, Manual of Painting & Calligraphy

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