Mental Flows

 I have next to no idea how I lasted this long - but I have.

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Through my writing I have been able to trasfer the ideas that echo beliefs I feel can change your way of thinking, without impunity.

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The reason I am saying this is simple, I have really become the person I always wanted to be as opposed to one that fakes my happiness.

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All of this time I have used facebook as a vehicle to produce my thoughts and project them onto the world.

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I am well aware of the people that rather see me suffer.

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The strange thing is I welcome it - all of it.

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Stranger still, is how I have been made an outcast along the lines of a lunatic.  The irony is I am not a lunatic, but a functioning version of your ignorance to my better awareness.

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I just find it odd, how people write me off as mentally derranged when I completely am self aware of their indiscretion toward myself.

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^Those are the cop-outs in life - people that fail in forbidding my ability that denounce their inability to create.

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How idiotic is it, people that fail to see me for who I am, god willing, bring knowledge of my self-awareness - as I know exactly what they are thinking about me.  It is borderline criminal psychology used against a perfectly conscious human being.  The answer is: how can someone explain what disables another persons mentality, when the accused (me) has full measure of it.  How does the accused (myself) know what they are not supposed to.

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This paradox accounts for guilty truth of the matter.

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What I have endured due to this has completely drained me of my righteous self - but through it, my psyche, my cognitive ability has covered an immense amount of suffering.  The aspect of self is only one.  People try to take it away from you, but unsuccessfully.  My capacity for reason is my greatest asset.

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When I was at my most vulnerable, a woman, belittled my sense of freedom by wishing me luck out in the real world, to which I replied with nothing but a thank you.  She did not express sound intent she would keep me in her thoughts, what she was doing is warning me of what she really thought about me.  I have never been so humiliated in my life.  The fact that I do not need people to like me, does not speak of my nature, it says I do not need validation for myself from others if they feel I do not belong.

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Maybe the one thing she forgot.