Marco is not going bald

When I think about the pain, anguish or suffering I've experienced, it's all supposed to mean something. The mystery that's unravelled has seemed to be not worth the wait for wear. However, I never really knew what I was to expect. Today, after ears of having been through university made me realize how much little truly materialized. It makes me wonder if I should have taken some time to travel as reward for my graduating from university? Instead, I was eager to be on my way without really giving myself any thought. Therefore, the choice I made was one of relief, that I was able enough to survive the struggles I faced in university.

I remember a time my confidence was met with indifference. A lot has changed since then, and that is the purpose of this message I write. Perhaps, I needed to gain ground upon losing touch with my inner self. I need to reconnect with my soul, that once had so much promise, I literally ran on my faith alone.

Somewhere along the line, I lost touch with the faith I had of myself. It was a blind faith. However, it was the kind of faith that only I know I possess within me.

Two songs come to mind, "She's fresh - fresh. . . exciting." is part of the chorus. The other song goes like this, "This is how we do it - it's Friday night." Those songs remind me of the time I was connected without a care in the world. It's what I call 'old school'. It was a time I felt alive. A time that looking back, tells me I've done a lot of good things in my life. That I can still be that same person, or better still, I am that person. . . the truth is I've developed a change of heart.

My change of heart I'm referring to is trying to re-connect with that time I've lost. I can re-evaluate what I've become today, established with where I've come from. That is an invaluable lesson to have learned.

The part of me that has come to realize I still am connected, is combined with the alter-ego of mine. The part of me that says: I deserve more. The reason for this is my present job. I think to myself, why did I attend university? I'm working for a company I never even heard of, being paid hourly wage on a night-shift premium. What did I do to deserve that? As I begin to realize what my common sense is telling, that the truth is I expected coming from university meant life stopped where my diploma hangs. In reality, I must still work for whatever it is I do.

Dr. Gordon summed it up best for me last week, "Life isn't so bad."