The choices I've made have a consequence. As result it is my feeling I have taken hold onto a short end of the stick. Instead, I'm working within a company that has just hired me as a full-time employee working on the night shift selection team. All I can allow myself to admit, are due to the choices I've made. Nothing can turn me off from that. It seems as if my bleeding heart makes up for none of it, no matter how hard I wish it could. I rather blame everyone else but me, yet, I have no sense of other purpose in my life. I feel stuck in the direction I'm heading.
Even worse, is that no matter how sad I am about myself, that doesn't change anything. I want to care about myself, without thinking that anything else matters. I literally hated seeing other people that were at a party over the week-end, I wish I could be happier - but somehow I felt forgotten. It was as though I was out of place. I look back at a person I use to be among those same group of peers, and that I use to act without a care in the world. Things have drastically shifted in the time that's passed.
Today I found out that my supervisor is connected to some people who I despise. My feelings of animosity where I work were only reinforced due to this information that blind-sided me. Instead, I must continue to work and earn a living! The members of this company have made it a monopoly. I feel the one true reason my supervisor asked me to work with the company, is due to the fact he did a favor for my dad?
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