Onalee has no idea what I went through tonight... my scene went horrible. I have a very damaged ego because of it. My intent wasn't to decide why I should quit acting altogether after tonight, I thought I would "break the bank." Instead, I lost all my money... do not pass go do not collect $200. Like in the Monopoly boardgame, I've gone directly to jail. Onalee suggestion to us is that if we leave our ego's at the door, and enter into a safe environment where we can feel vulnerable. I feel like I'm a step beyond that. However, Onalee didn't observe me the way I'd have hoped, she reacted to me without a definitive response. My actions are made to create a better version of myself as an actor and a person. The fact I've grown with both of these aspects in mind, makes me worry more.

I Wonder if Onalee is worth my time, and I doubt her class offers anything to me. I know how to take responsibility for myself and how I've healed.

Perhaps, through Onalee's acting class... my failure has been a success for me hidden underneath. Beneath the surface, I'm nursing a bruised ego. I just feel completely violated before the experience came, because of why this "hurts" my ego.