I met a great artist last night. Myself. I interacted with another truly generous person that wanted my friendship in return. Instead, I couldn't withstand the beauty that triggered me. I wanted Kathryn. I couldn't live a lie.
As intense as my emotions get. I feel proud about meeting someone that I care about. I'm in no fear. If we can be friends but not lovers... I rather kill 2 birds wih one stone, not just one or the other. That'd be like accepting death instead of fate/destiny.
The picture of me above, illustrates well who I am in that image.
If I don't do this journalling, my sense is to accomplish, a feeling of personal satsfation to protect my feelings. THIS IS MY BLOG. And I love myself, for being the kind of person I am.
In fact I feel shame, remorse, and profound disappointment.
I have failed.
I have shown god the type of failure I am.
Last night I had showed, a mirror of truth, that holds up to the ceiling of gods kingdom. He reflected everything about me. My honesty. My manhood. My attraction to a woman and my gentle side.
Now, the night passed without a goodnight kiss.
I feel crushed.
I'm beneath the rock I hide under. Ashamed. Not fulifilled.
And god, I question asks me to stay, here in my parents basement. To relax, chill my soul. I couldn't make her love me. I didn't want to listen.
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