January 27th 2009
Jinx - think faster. It's on a day like today I feel bewildered belief, stricken with grief at the thought of some from of common denominator that won't even itself out. Not that this is a matter of numbers, because I really hate math, mainly because you forget the rules when rules should apply - yet other times they don't. I guess my complexity cannot correspond with how much change has (I pray) made a difference in my life thus far. At this moment, I betray my sense of self-serving wisdom for a more radical approach. My problem is simple: you can't chase a dream without trusting yourself first.
Supposing wisdom is the key in all of this, my twinkle in eye, it cannot be self-serving due to as I pointed out earlier a common denominator. Sometimes, the numbers within adding fractions must equal to a common denomination, though at times, yes - even in doing the fraction correctly - the same numbers will not follow. It is a matrix principle. Yet, my brain has always 'multiplied' numbers in ways, that must obey the rules as they are to be followed. Even though one is following the rules (as rules go) my 'flawed' automatic mechanism is not to rationalize that I might already have the correct answer. I've always confused math, or my method in trivializing it as I do right here, been a matter of endless tabulation. It's like my mind is saying, "I must keep tabulating. If those are the correct numbers, I must keep tabulating. Therefore, those numbers can't be right." When logic does not dictate the norm, as is in this case mine.
I suppose the moral of my story goes with so much grace, it lacks. Something, it lacks tells me I'm okay to be as unknown as a common variable would have it.
It's on days like today, I rather be dreaming good dreams.
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