"I once told a group of people, that my acting is providing one thing and one thing only, my ability to find thoughts of a private nature, convert them into something real.
That group of people were the same ones invented in this narrative.
They all asked me, how did I do that.
Provide shame and humility then divided it in between a "cousin of thoughts". I knew right then and there creativity was gods way of comprehending the world, not so much to feel its comprehension." (Marco Almeida, 2013)
^This entry is metaphysical in response, and is meant to be read as a warped sense of time. Jump down the rabbit hole and find the voice as it was intended. I consider my use of language as illiterate to most that do not find any of my ideas intelligible. I have to believe that in a future sense, language will have mutated into another form and when (in the future) they want to see something that is completely indifferent from today's reality. That once they examine my transgressions it will be bright as day.
I write a lot of what I hope is found someday to be something that did not make sense today, but written for another time that will enable it.
A lot of this entry borderline double-crosses how language is meant to be recorded. I make no mistake of that made against me. But my intent is far more than average intellect. It is the only way I can read this to my benefit.
"Fantasizing"
When did shame and humility enter the deathly sense of a common urge to, comprehension, a comprehension that even our most flaccid moral characteristics are present.
It is a curious use of the word flaccid, but it works, the subjectivity of "flaccid morals" to describe something such as comprehension, that is, is the source.
So from flaccid moral temptation, use to describe our most human characteristics of basic humility, in the company of its shame. Something about the characteristics made between humility and shame are quaint in quality. Such measure of the human family would depend on such subject, if we were all to be involved in a story of only three things; (a) death (b) humility (c) shame, not necessarily in that order. The means of which death became a comprehensible medium, perhaps came before comprehension is itself in wonder. Death can be a very beautiful thing, because it takes us to a place that only recognizes the balance between shame and humility, on extraordinary circumstances. Such a qualitative view of life reminds us of this time into our lives. Death with interruptions is a matter of evoking, the two separate cousin of thoughts, one part humility the other part shame. There is another interesting source of words: "cousin of thoughts" where in this narrative for all intensive purposes became a novelty of convenience. It simply is there, one side as described rests 'humility' then come "cousin of thoughts" that the other side has its 'shame'. Such a powerful metaphor in relation to one another. That humility and shame became comfortable in between its time.
We live in an age where humility and shame are not necessary because of its beguiling nature, we somehow get lost, only to escape from something we never thought possible.
This is when it happened to me.
I was walking into acting class, just before anyone spotted me, I heard someone describe how much of a genius I think I am. I left it up to the imagination, that somehow challenged in the plot, this narrative assembly of words became somehow skewed in marvel. How could I have been so lucky, to be as if a fly on the wall, when I am over hearing a breath taking description of me - myself - in a third person. I was flabbergasted.
The truth is, I am a writer, and I am pretty good at it.
What boggles my mind is that I am only 35 years old. I have worked my whole life, that one fateful day between humility and shame, I decided to take an active role in that self production. Through the years, that story was left untouched, only to find its true path, into a narrative that is right now - being read. Some would confuse my cohesion of words and dismiss them altogether. Which is fine. I write with the intent of alternate endings clairvoyant of thoughts, somehow were built throughout all this time, to find a careful procedure that the brain one day knew, and the brain said it all was true.
I once told a group of people, that my acting is providing one thing and one thing only, my ability to find thoughts of a private nature, convert them into something real.
That group of people were the same ones invented in this narrative.
They all asked me, how did I do that.
Do what I asked them.
Provide shame and humility then divided it in between a "cousin of thoughts". I knew right then and there creativity was gods way of comprehending the world, not so much to feel its comprehension.
I came from a time in between, I made a choice, to alter my reality of it, or to change the perception I thought people had over me. The choices I made up to now, have benefited me greatly.
I no longer belittle myself as a muse, when the dread of something awful as if were to happen. What people saw as the death of me, became a radical transformation.
I was born with my sister from the same womb.
What I have learned from her here is quite astounding to me.
That as much as we look out for each other, we trusted others judgments as safe about us. They were not always safe, so when we got scared, nobody cared, that was a test of humanity we overcame together. People refuse to remain themselves emblematic of virtue, this caused depression worse than the colors of death. But my sister and I, we were born - born to make shame and humility something that we could only endure in secret.
That is how I have become the Canadian equivocal to whisperers, whisperers of how genius was made somewhere in this narrative between my signature virtue, humility, and shame. As the whispers grew louder, then those whispers became footsteps, then those footsteps became voices, that those voices were absurd, and it trained my ear to hear how absurd people really are unaware of themselves.
Everything in the universe that is hostile will remain hostile because of its lack of shame and humility.
I wrote quite a story about it. Now tell it. Therefore, you won't.
This narrative was very powerful, it speaks a language on its own, to never forgive the people that you counted on as equals only to fail you along the way. My acting, writing, beliefs, are all made of these things. But you could never tell.
You could never tell the difference between shame and humility before it was described to you, as only words you thought had only place in dogmas about yourself. Then I wrote about it, and performed in this narrative how undeveloped you are. Now I confess myself¤ as an actor, that thinks about how love can be present in things that have no clue how to react.
That is when I came into this realization of morals, words, thoughts, ideas, creation of the avant. Yet, I am not sorry to say unsuccessfully. I trade all of it for truth.
It is a curious use of the word flaccid, but it works, the subjectivity of "flaccid morals" to describe something such as comprehension, that is, is the source.
So from flaccid moral temptation, use to describe our most human characteristics of basic humility, in the company of its shame. Something about the characteristics made between humility and shame are quaint in quality. Such measure of the human family would depend on such subject, if we were all to be involved in a story of only three things; (a) death (b) humility (c) shame, not necessarily in that order. The means of which death became a comprehensible medium, perhaps came before comprehension is itself in wonder. Death can be a very beautiful thing, because it takes us to a place that only recognizes the balance between shame and humility, on extraordinary circumstances. Such a qualitative view of life reminds us of this time into our lives. Death with interruptions is a matter of evoking, the two separate cousin of thoughts, one part humility the other part shame. There is another interesting source of words: "cousin of thoughts" where in this narrative for all intensive purposes became a novelty of convenience. It simply is there, one side as described rests 'humility' then come "cousin of thoughts" that the other side has its 'shame'. Such a powerful metaphor in relation to one another. That humility and shame became comfortable in between its time.
We live in an age where humility and shame are not necessary because of its beguiling nature, we somehow get lost, only to escape from something we never thought possible.
This is when it happened to me.
I was walking into acting class, just before anyone spotted me, I heard someone describe how much of a genius I think I am. I left it up to the imagination, that somehow challenged in the plot, this narrative assembly of words became somehow skewed in marvel. How could I have been so lucky, to be as if a fly on the wall, when I am over hearing a breath taking description of me - myself - in a third person. I was flabbergasted.
The truth is, I am a writer, and I am pretty good at it.
What boggles my mind is that I am only 35 years old. I have worked my whole life, that one fateful day between humility and shame, I decided to take an active role in that self production. Through the years, that story was left untouched, only to find its true path, into a narrative that is right now - being read. Some would confuse my cohesion of words and dismiss them altogether. Which is fine. I write with the intent of alternate endings clairvoyant of thoughts, somehow were built throughout all this time, to find a careful procedure that the brain one day knew, and the brain said it all was true.
I once told a group of people, that my acting is providing one thing and one thing only, my ability to find thoughts of a private nature, convert them into something real.
That group of people were the same ones invented in this narrative.
They all asked me, how did I do that.
Do what I asked them.
Provide shame and humility then divided it in between a "cousin of thoughts". I knew right then and there creativity was gods way of comprehending the world, not so much to feel its comprehension.
I came from a time in between, I made a choice, to alter my reality of it, or to change the perception I thought people had over me. The choices I made up to now, have benefited me greatly.
I no longer belittle myself as a muse, when the dread of something awful as if were to happen. What people saw as the death of me, became a radical transformation.
I was born with my sister from the same womb.
What I have learned from her here is quite astounding to me.
That as much as we look out for each other, we trusted others judgments as safe about us. They were not always safe, so when we got scared, nobody cared, that was a test of humanity we overcame together. People refuse to remain themselves emblematic of virtue, this caused depression worse than the colors of death. But my sister and I, we were born - born to make shame and humility something that we could only endure in secret.
That is how I have become the Canadian equivocal to whisperers, whisperers of how genius was made somewhere in this narrative between my signature virtue, humility, and shame. As the whispers grew louder, then those whispers became footsteps, then those footsteps became voices, that those voices were absurd, and it trained my ear to hear how absurd people really are unaware of themselves.
Everything in the universe that is hostile will remain hostile because of its lack of shame and humility.
I wrote quite a story about it. Now tell it. Therefore, you won't.
This narrative was very powerful, it speaks a language on its own, to never forgive the people that you counted on as equals only to fail you along the way. My acting, writing, beliefs, are all made of these things. But you could never tell.
You could never tell the difference between shame and humility before it was described to you, as only words you thought had only place in dogmas about yourself. Then I wrote about it, and performed in this narrative how undeveloped you are. Now I confess myself¤ as an actor, that thinks about how love can be present in things that have no clue how to react.
That is when I came into this realization of morals, words, thoughts, ideas, creation of the avant. Yet, I am not sorry to say unsuccessfully. I trade all of it for truth.
-----------------------------
"What I have learned from her here is quite astounding to me.
^Characterizing shame and humility is all part of the end game, something that people in general have needed to remind is common sense part of their reproach.
That is the truth about my sister and I in this country we call our own, we both are modified creatures of habits foreign to the most average Canadian. (Make no mistake about it, this is a Canadian narrative.) Why people choose not to copy our humanity is simple, throughout the course of our time together, we have shown how to add color to the world. My sister and I were so good at faking not faking it.
My brother in law is such a pioneer to recognize my sister as a Canadian diamond, organically, physically transplanted from the origins of her revolutionary capacity, (I am talking about her being born and having given birth in the world.).
In fact, those that choose to know my sister and I to a further extent, realize how important it is to copy.
My nephew will one day read this, and not have to wonder, as much as it is true - to the same beat of his own drum, how good his genetic disposition was passed on. How good he is at faking not faking it means. That he is so good at not faking his existence, he has to fake it out of generosity so not to insult anybody else that cannot do it themselves.
That this is the key to genuineness. (My nephew reminds me of that.)
==================
^As I refer to the use of 'genius' is in fact I overheard a critique, about how unimpressed they are of me. That is why I remarked the word in its past tense, they were not affirming something they actually felt was true, they accuse me of thinking myself I am a critically acclaimed "genius". In other words I am easy to hate, based on criteria, though not that I know their intent is ill advisable or not.
===============
"You could never tell the difference between shame and humility before it was described to you, as only words you thought had only place in dogmas about yourself. Then I wrote about it, and performed in this narrative how undeveloped you are. Now I confess myself¤ as an actor, that thinks about how love can be present in things that have no clue how to react.
That is when I came into this realization of morals, words, thoughts, ideas, creation of the avant. Yet, I am not sorry to say unsuccessfully. I trade all of it for truth." (MA2012)
When I wrote this I was thinking about three things:
1- How in becoming an actor, means submersion yourself over to something so completely, so profoundly, that it represents your faith of a private nature toward humanity.
2- I have a immersion (that) how following a path, took me to realize, using my sister and I as an example. That which lead me in respect - as uninhabited this world truly is. That, without any expectation pertaining to the reservations others have of me, I am a person that (like my sister) we have given the earth its presence in life. That so much of our ability as being human, is our contribution to reality on a much larger level. "Faking at not faking it."
3- That in Canadian society, for it to flourish is simply in these words of an exaggerated mentality, because we are complacent with ourselves using "flaccid morals" without result - of a dormant culture. We really need to address the mental embodiment of an exaggerated will; debunking Canadian myth of joy and creation against us not fitting in. It is this type of idea we need stereotype ourselves, of belief in our eccentric identity compensated on a world scale.
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2- I came from a time in between, I made a choice, to alter my reality of it, or to change the perception I thought people had over me. The choices I made up to now, have benefited me greatly." (MA2012)
3- "We really need to address the mental embodiment of an exaggerated will; debunking Canadian myth of joy and creation against us not fitting in. It is this type of idea we need stereotype ourselves, of belief in our eccentric identity compensated on a world scale." (MA2012)
#1 is self explanatory. Re; comprehension I recently stated: "I do not exist to the world, I am merely my own representation of it."
#2 Is emblematic of time, split in two, the metaphorical concept is the power to divide it.
#3 Is the basis of my inspiration to change how I see myself in my sense of faith, of face value, and of virtue. In other words, to be a Canadian that is charismatic, and fluent in the idea of beautiful romance.
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#3 Is especially important, because it challenges us to change how others look at us in ourselves, to smash inferiority complex. (i.e. virtue undivided)
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"(a)The means of which death became a comprehensible medium, perhaps came before comprehension is itself in wonder. (b)Death can be a very beautiful thing, because it takes us to a place that only recognizes the balance between shame and humility, on extraordinary circumstances. (c)Such a qualitative view of life reminds us of this time into our lives." (MA2012)
^I really do love this piece of writing, especially the first sentence 'a'. Speaking of death can ignite that sense of unequivocal fear to most people, without even giving it any thought might life then be taken for granted. When you begin to realize the emphasis placed between humility and shame, the idea of death seems rather humbling to me. That is the point I make between comprehension and death, a subject so in particular it is not beneath our immediate understanding.
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