Satisfactory Contingency Analysis - but not naive -

I leave myself to sarcasm?
Not once in my narrative do I!
I do not resort to sarcasm;
it is a great defense-mechanism.
Toast the perfect slice of bread:
that I feel like a kid again.
Where gains are made.
That I can resist in
not settling for less.
I've retained in no knowledge
from the apology of having
been applaused.