This guy I know stepped out of his limousine ride, he’s a gangster in love. He usually goes to a watering hole, the local pub. I’m a bartender there. The pornographer I also serve is sitting in the same place she always does. When the gangster in love arrived, he sat down next to her. After some conversation, the gangster in love left, and the pornographer told me what he said. He was in an accident. When the gangster in love was younger, he looked death in the face and he survived. He asked me what is pornography like. I didn’t know how to respond, and then he left. The problem is I want someone like you. You don’t have a clue of who I am do you. But I wouldn’t just sleep with you. It’s ridiculous to get high on someone, when they’re only interested in having sex with you. The porn industry isn’t like that.

Do people believe that the spirit of god is responsible for their sins? In my world… there’s a false perception of the belief in God. I subject my own judgment of how people generally receive my information as a sign that tells.

Both of my parents show me why the meaning of god exists in the universe.

People that have a different view of myself, use to know me as extremely outgoing.

Today, I walked out of my therapy with Dr. Gordon with a question I couldn’t answer. Dr. Gordon made me realize that my history of sexual abuse, and being in a tragic car accident where I was injured.

The fact that I’ve been able to block the effects of these incidents out of my mind takes a lot of my energy.

Counterfeiting Safety

Take it easy, but take it… let it go.
Throw it away.

The misspelling of words,
What if god had not spelled a word incorrectly?
Say he made a spelling error…
And in the mistake, hadn’t made the earth perfectly.
Without making a spelling mistake, would a mistake in spelling had made the earth?

Wouldn’t a misspelled word change everything that god himself intended?
Could god misspend our very cradle of truth and justice?
Should the miscarriage of our misdealt hand, the hands of god even screwed up?
How perfect are we in his image… our own image that god created was because of poor spelling! That the cause of our misery!!

The Signature of Ownership

Am I becoming more in touch with my feminine side? As a result, the goals I’ve had in life… are clearer then before.

I have an acting device made.

I’m far less complicated and better aware. I’m more sensitive to my surroundings. I feel in touch with my true inner and outer being.

The fears I used to have haven’t disappeared. They are a part of who I truly am.

My emotions are filled with the light of god, and my shadows are a weight of gold that shines, glistens as a diamond that blisters brilliantly in the sun.

I collect my memories as a symbol of my youth and vitality. There are both ‘good’ memories as there are ‘bad’.

My recollections are to provide something in return for a deeper understanding, a meaningful experience, or spiritual existence.

I work for myself in the cause. Everyone is a case of whispering secret thoughts. As bold as my beauty holds!!

The defense mechanism is brought under the wing and I spread my wings to fly!

We all have our moment in the sun. I was raped as a child. I'm not afraid to admit that as I've been afraid to in the past. I rather share it. Does that make me a mental case? Perhaps, I feel time will take care of the wounds I already healed.

Always cheer for the underdog.



Your favorite team might lose.



I’m in no great need of supply.



I’m not being demanded.



I have no commands.



Inside the voice listen silent.



An older man I see… now is everything I always wanted to be!

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; Taking, as He did, this sinful worldas it is, not as I would have it; Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him Forever in the next. Amen.

--Reinhold Niebuhr

Trust in the LORD with all your heartand lean not on your own understanding;in all your ways acknowledge him,and he will direct your paths.

Proverbs 3, 5-6

Lord, bless me with a woman whom I save myself for.

Someone whom is special in her words, smile, and in heart.

To my family I pray for our departure into heaven, that we spend our eternity together.

My aunt and grandmother, I pray for longevity and the richness of health.

Amen.

Today is mother's day.

If I don't believe that what I know exists... I put my faith in the hands of god.

Last night, I went to a club. Today I awoke from my sleep, and I saw my beautiful mom.

Gestalt and Epistemology

I’ll admit…
I’m learning something ‘new’ as I had called in to work sick for the first time.
For the first time in my life I felt liberated.

No Trespassing: "Off Limits" ...coating frail vulnerability and fragility (intent.)

I'm now officially a tulip gardener, partly due to the same fact, a reason of which cannot altogether be found original though at the same time unique because marriage is narcissism.

I don't want Cait as badly as I lead on. If she wants a boyfriend she can keep him to herself. Last night I accessed Reg's blog, and I visited a link he had. Some guy named Rich Prisk? Then I saw some other link on Rich Prisk's blog. It was some girl named Ashley. Fack is she an idiot.

Anti-gossip

I've never been one to gossip. I think back to the time I used to. Though that might seem incredible... something doesn't add together.

When I was in my high school graduation, today I see what kind of person people saw.

Today, I'm a completely different person.

Wasn't I supposed to change throughout these years? Where has the time gone and why is this a question for me?

I compare myself to where some other peers I grew up with are now. The problem is I don't value myself. That's been such a huge problem. My graduation year was 1995. I'm talking about my experience as though I haven't changed at all! (Circa 2005)

In a span of 10 years... I haven't given this thought until today?

The social aspects between then and now for me have also 'changed'. I want a girl to get on my horse's back and ride with me off into the sunset... like a fairy tale. I wish that my godmother lives happily now that she's doing radiation treatment for her cancer and moves from Belgium to Portugal. I thank god, Jesus our lord and savior, to breath life into my grandmother's health. I'm lost for words. But because of my grandmother, I know I'm forever faithful to the Roman Catholic religion. I shall honor my religion. I won't betray (my) god.

There are many moments in my life, and for each one, I pray... that the permission I give myself to live will be safe and kept free from being stolen. I dispossessed the faults I own and love them for myself.

I'll sign this contract.

M.A.

Dear Mr. Fat Domino

You deserve to get some respect for that comment from me, Mr.

I understand what you implied was correct, credit cards he paid off... with tax payers money.

I'm glad people watched this on television tonight.

I wasn't home to watch, but I do have opinons to give on Canada's PM ADSCAM rebuttal.

I thought the minority of Canadians do understand "credit card" pay-offs equate to the tax dollars government controls. Our taxes create our government in return we get a place within which we move freely? That's the deal of government.

The priorities within that government provides us with a benefiting "plaid suit" (i.e. like sales person approaches you with some interest or forms an ideal partnership with you for commision/profits).

Let's say the priorities are in random sequence, but I will list the ones I think might a majority of Canadians agree upon?

1 Health Care
2 (Quebec federalism)
3 Rights of minorities (e.g. immigration laws/ equal rights etc)

I believe in principle... that the Quebec agenda in government is a priority. However, why didn't Paul Martin just not say, "We want the province of Quebec to be a part of Canada. Therefore, what we didn't tell Canadians wasn't as necessary because its important FOR EVERYBODY."
Instead the feds "screwed up" and it only looks as though we're being screwed?

Why not had Martin able to address to us, something with courage and respecting people's sensitivity on this issue? There's a margin of error involved. If Canadians can grasp the fact, Quebec doesn't want itself on a leash it's only due to their distinct society status. But put the showmanship aside, and it's a leash that every other province already has. Quebec needs a sample size leash that they'll get comfortable wearing and not feel patronized. The problem with the government of Canada's inability, might be how Quebec sees itself. ADSCAM is fundamentally the leash we were attempting to see if it would fit Quebec and draw them nearer. The bigger picture is being totally flushed down the toilet.

Somewhat Perfection (of a self regard…)

Some time ago I met a distant relative of mine.

I’ve led a sheltered life… I live in my own platoon. The laws I had created among the other tribe members. Together with the help of our platoon, built from scratch… everything we made by hand. Almost like the pioneer days, except without the mud huts like in Thailand. Our rules were simple. The “pest control” was meant to keep the rodents from harming us in our platoon. Some minor complications arose that helped us detail and refine the laws as we moved. We created our own civilization. Almost like the eco-system but we called it nature. Nature is our biosphere. Whenever we had heard of the past history, imagination took us to the dinosaur age. I wasn’t quite sure what to make of this at first, but over time… you get used to the conditions. Somewhere in the platoon, (I don’t remember exactly) we kept records of events. If something didn’t seem right, our rights, we didn’t do anything. We had a panic control mechanism. Instead, we would teach our learning throughout each day. Whatever we had learned was transformed! We had the freedom to choose what we wanted. The place as knowledge acts is? A Library. We called our platoon a “library of knowledge.” Some of us knew, that others would disagree with the viewpoints, another would self manage somehow!! Are we right? We didn’t need to declare any wars. Instead, the people in our platoon emerged. We wouldn’t discuss anything in particular. What diplomacy took affect; we reached through the “bought salesman approach.” We couldn’t expect what others did. We’d ask ourselves each, “Are you thinking okay?” To which the answer would be, “Are you sure you know what position you’re taking, I don’t follow.” What was important is factually the side of an argument. (And we’d never ask for directions.) The three main ideas that we objectively subjected out: Platoon Sheltered Panic. Over time platoon sheltered panic was a euphemism, dualism vs. feudalism x the declaration of independence. We thought about not being a monarchy and not being a church. (Practically all day.) Why didn’t England adopt but said ‘no’ to the Christian orthogonal Church? The same countries in Europe such as France, who did Napoleon, and his army, conquer in terms of the Napoleonic Code? The question is what? Wasn’t there a divide among nations? Did the Roman Catholics invade Portugal, which the kings of each state within drove out the Moors? With the help of England, Portugal’s king Dom Alfonso Henriques drove out the Moors. Portugal identifies itself as a Roman Catholic dominated state. What happened to the Kings? Did the Magna Charta unify England? Did the Christians in England reform against the Protestant following? When communism came into effect, generate a new breed of fascist dictators? Until when did the population realize the corruption? The last person to say anything against the state would be executed!! The first person to stand up and not plead with guiltiness, were guile victims. A true visionary leader, intelligent, wise, must face the platoons patrons. “Did you not kill that man?” “I don’t think I did.” Did you murder someone? No, I don’t kill anyone.


Most philosophers like I, take on an inferiority complex of sorts. The rest is self explanatory, really.

Anyway, to pass the time… our culture in the platoon has emerged with slapstick humor involving our leading figure. Spinoza. Spinoza asked himself, “The church of England? What on earth am I doing with my parents in Portugal, a Roman Catholic dominated state, without any elected officials running a head of office, run by kings no less, what is a Jewish born individual doing in this country I was born. I must rebel. But what will me parents say? I’m extremely sensitive to go against the wishes of my parents, that I’m insecure. I KNOW. The answer is, for shits and giggles I’ll come to the churches doors with a language of my own. I can refute the bastards and they’ll exile me. What’s a good place? Amsterdam maybe? I’ll need a job. I don’t know how I can read without my glasses; I’ll have to make a pair of my own. Then I’ll write my philosophies while living in Amsterdam.” I laugh and laugh because we cheer what Spinoza does is the way we’d have done it if you were the man… he did things differently but with alternatives in mind from the days he lived. I’ve studied Spinoza.

Another good joke that’s told frequently in the platoon is the one involving Marylin Monroe. There’s a woman we call Marylin Monroe in the platoon, nobody knows her actual name. We know Marylin Monroe’s real life name is Norma Jean. When we ask if anyone knows what Marylin’s name really is, someone will say Norma Jean, and we all laugh out loud. Then someone else says, “Maybe John F. Kennedy… didn’t know how to look in the mirror?” The women in the platoon were unappreciative of being talked about. In some manner or capacity, women adopted that role. Feminine qualities are a highly given order. If Marylin Monroe thought we were talking about her, what she thought… nobody knew for sure what she heard. She didn’t fit the profile of traditions. She resigned to distractions that a lot of people weren’t aware of. She divorced twice. Had kids. That’s all we know.

When I compare my notes with anyone, I use the Socratic method.

Now, I look to improve my image positively meanwhile accepting the negatives and reinforcing my positives. Depression is common in the platoon. I like to play with eventual ideas in reality. For instance, “Eventually things will happen to get better.”
I get the bigger picture of whom I truly am.

I mentioned to you earlier, something about learning. I teach. I teach for free to those who listen. Listening is a skill. I don’t react per se. When I learn, I’m listening. The secret to learning I’m listening to learn and I challenge myself to speak. The pants I wear, are in a lost and found bin. The area of interests that cat and mouse games aren’t played!

Detouring Deception

“Canadians are self-righteous.” The deported Mexican laughed.
I used to be Protestant. The Mexican couldn’t support his argument.
I converted to Catholic. The Mexican tried to hide behind his argument.
Now I’ve reformed and claim not to be protestant but lie about being Catholic?
(I don’t want to be taught why.) You made me sound stupid said the Mexican.

A dampening swith in beliefs... (a switch in 'believing' not "believability" per se.)

“I’ve got this lamp that needs to be fixed but I don’t know where to take it?”
I don’t appreciate the Conservatives and how they’ll downplay their political agenda as an excuse for Liberal policies.

It’s become a comedy of errors, that the Liberal minority government has been upstaged because of their own doing?

It seems almost as unlikely that the Liberal agenda has backed off of its platform. In not compromising with the Conservatives, the Liberals have adopted principle instead of “show-jumping” tactically. The Liberals are the victims of their own crime. However, have also understood the difficulty Canadians have to face, the Liberal minority government is more astute than before. Simply in view of the fact, in light of whatever has taken precedent, the Liberals will not forget what beliefs Canadians essentially value.

The truthfully unsound nature of the Conservative party is not intentionally the solution to true existing problems that have surfaced. As result, the Mulroney government lost the faith Canadians once understood as an alternative, the Conservatives implemented GST to compensate for what is presently known as NAFTA. History shows conservatives struggling to maintain official status in the House of Commons weren’t in the position to hold office, but merely created a front door policy in order to ensure their own form of government practices would make a mark upon federal institutionalization of our nation. The back door was swung open and hit the Conservatives on their backsides on their way out the exit.

The idea of a Conservative ideology to many Canadians was lost in trusting this party. In terms of the ideal welfare of every average or marginalized citizen will receive, after people rushed to polling stations in lieu of tragic misconception. The preceding years had stung that followed the Conservative party’s credibility and became a sign. I challenge a question each and every Canadian shouldn’t consider as typical. Do you really want the Conservatives in office or just another whitewashed Liberal? I think the ‘bargain’ has actually ended.

The Invisible Minority

I like to think in terms of a parallel universe that exists somewhere.
I am YOUR leader…
I AM.
Green Eggs and Ham.
Sam, I am. I am, Sam.

The silent majority, retreats underground to a sanctuary of choice.
In the most exotic places, the travel receipt of first class ticketing to Jamaica.
The oil drums beat a luxurious sound for the Steel clad troops on the south pacific.
There’s been a personal interest among the southern Atlantic voyeurs however recently.
An “invasion” of rebel roman followers to claim the land!!

(The Magna Charta)
“No, we refuse you to teach this to us.”
“But we must, it is our duty.”
“We have our own customs and traditions.”
“They aren’t of any use to us postmodern renaissance.”

The mighty Atlantic Ocean divides between each of the continents.
How can a stones throw ‘split’ decide which one of the ‘tribes’ is wrong?
“Propose something to me.”
“I want you to see me.”
The sounds of oil drums echo in the back, while the automatic responsive effort of a psychological nature formed between the tribal councils.

In the future, a reactionary tale accounts for the 2 most unlikely of hero’s.
They’re in a conversation that actually attempts to recount the historical accuracy of the past events.
One is a Fisherman. The other is an ironworker.
They both have different backgrounds and are Canadians.
The fisherman is from Newfoundland and the Ironworker is from Quebec.

Both of the men… worked as lumberjacks.
Oddly enough, as they recount knowledge, resembles how balanced an equilibrium they took as loggers.
The balancing to keep both feet squares firmly and frame equally parallel on a floating buoyant piece of hard wood in the shore water.
They make it look easy in practice. The application seems as though effortless the logs keep rolling.

I was trained to work on the World Trade Center. They interviewed me to ask questions of surviving construction workers that serviced. I don’t know who they were or where they came from or why, I just answered. The interview went well. Okay, I guess. But anyway, I told them everything I had done building. They seemed interested.

The World Trade Center doesn’t exist anymore. Yeah. I know how the planes hit the towers. Man, that wasn’t pretty. But anyway they’re going to build a new Freedom Tower in New York. The city survived King Kong, eh? The Empire State building was big too.

I hear they call you the lying Fisherman. Do you believe in god?

Oh my god… you think I’m using the god argument.

No I’m not. You said the trade towers don’t exist anymore.

Well for starters they call me the sinning fisherman for whatever their reasons are I don’t know. I couldn’t tell you why or how come. Secondly, I’m not called the lying fisherman.

Okay then. Lying Fisherman.

Well why would you care? Anyhow, enough about me (changes the subject…) I didn’t know until now that you thought about apologizing for being rational?

I’m rationally inclined. Naturally, the discussion I expected could lead to this. What on earth happened you knew about the complaints that were made against me?

I read about them in the newspaper interview you gave about the World Trade Center buildings being hit. You said that it was an act of god.

I never said anything like that! The truth that is, I was asked about my construction. Secondly, it was a television interview.

I remember it was in the newspaper.

They don’t call you the lying fishermen for nothing.

Why should I care?

I suggest if you were in the position that Cinderella was in… you should consider not wearing the glass slipper. Even if the shoe fits DON’T WEAR IT!

Not if the shoe is perfect in every detail, shape, size, comfort?

ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY NOT.

What kind of a society do we live in if all we’re being is lied to?
It is not my discretion to answer everything that question entails… but that I do have some idea. Society falls short of building gaps between the cultures. In other words, the essence of humanity hasn’t become as sterile in today’s day and age. Although judging from experience in my field of work as an ironworker. Many judges cannot pretend the same way most others can. You can act as a judge thinks only.

That’s about as existential as my former job; I shouldn’t say that though, I love being a fisherman.

I miss being a logger sometimes.

I don’t.

If you were denied your freedom, how close would you measure it then? How safe are you to imagine it that way.

I never considered freedom as a personal matter; to me freedom is like a bird that’s caged in its cell.

You must always keep your enemies closer than your allies.

Those are words to live by.

Have a piece of the banana bread my wife made for me, …and some monkey juice.

Monkey juice?

Apple juice.

I see I’ve rubbed off on you the right way.

Apparently.

My wife is gorgeous.

My wife is modest.

My wife is simple.

My wife is delicate.

My wife is ordinary.

Your wife is ordinary.

My wife is sexy.
My wife is foxy.

My wife is totalitarian right wing.

My wife is militant left wing.

My wife is anti-fascist.

My wife is anti-socialist.

My wife isn’t independent.

My wife is.

Your wife is independent?

No. Yes she is divine and good-natured, but no is also beautiful inside and out, humble and is great in the kitchen.

My wife loves cooking in bed.

Congratulations.

Pride is definitely a trademark of sorts.

Not I fisherman. Not I.

Are you still in search of blinds?
No the window store closed earlier then usual weekday hours over the weekend, and I’m extremely lazy on the weekends. I’m extremely happy because it gave me the opportunity to afford purchasing these super pair of pants I’ve been wearing.

The pool shark

The pool shark

Right ball in the corner pocket…
I speak with the parrot on my shoulder.
The parrot mimics everything I do!!
Joyless creature you are, Polly.
Why is it that the woman knowingly mocks how strange you look??

Keeping a balance upwards and downwards.
You wreak havoc from shoulder-to-shoulder.
Woman’s issues are a tad bit unleashing.
Ask her a question; she becomes defensive as you… only she mimics the style.
Polly, why doesn’t it matter what I feel?

Is she trying to creep up on me from nowhere, Polly?
Where do I find the answer\s?
I find funny how she retreats Polly.
Maybe it’s my immigrant skin, the status of being a first generation born Canadian?
I thought there was a fairer mistress that might want to give me pleasure.

My grade 3 teacher I had my first crush on.
Her name was Mrs. Rodriguez.
She was a beautiful lady, Polly.
How she gave free uninhibited ‘love’ you could feel!
In fact I remember that she loved Tina Turner!!

My medicine cabinet is empty.
The truth has all but been forgotten.
I’ve deceived my government.
I hold secret anti-government rallies that only I attend.
They have no idea about my whereabouts.

Superficiality

Things truly making you an artist become a learned habit, a ‘distant’ trait you’ve earned.

Superficiality

The devil is invited not to attend.
You find yourself yet?

My mind boils and a flow of lava streams that followed turning rock solid.

A blue-collar worker…
White male in his mid-late 20’s has been informed.

Crusty worn attire, the clown leads his flock across the bridge into Twin Peaks.

Painting a Picture

What have they been whispering, talking behind your back?
In my dreams I see shadows.
Only shadows.
They’ve created the monster I mistake myself for in the mirror!
Medusa shows herself to me, and my cloud of stone faced horror!!

Who’s been pulling the strings?
Yanking on my chain?
Been in my medicine cabinet?
Given me parking tickets?
Hidden from me?

Reality is a deconstruction.
You see an “expecting” wife to have created something not only to lose it.
What happened to enthusiasm?
Where did truth found the mystery flavored?
Why isn’t color in dreams?

Radar is inside police cruisers and keeps the sirens off.

Intolerable Cruelty

There’s a certain sense of humor that amounts to something unusual.

I telephoned a travel agency yesterday…

I had asked to book a spot to heaven.

We have no flights to heaven.

You mean nobody has ever asked? I found astonishing how something couldn’t have been inquired about before. EVER.

Well, you’re the first person that’s asked… and no such thing has ever been sold through our travel agency.

But their might be a chance the airlines may open a flight to heaven?

Not to the best of my knowledge.

I thought you people were supposed to be more helpful!

I’m only telling you the details don’t exist.

I see.

Heaven is as beautiful a place that the sun appears on a warm summer day.


The rules for existentialist ideology:

(1) Creating the appearance

(2) The achievement of something desired.

(3) *Catch the abstract.