I guess instead of feeling sorry for myself, all I've ever tried to accomplish is figuring out what about me is different?

I have ADD. I'm a 28 year old male with extremely low self esteem. I think I have value, what I don't have is confidence. That's the "way I'm built."

I feel a lot about things, and I carry unnecessary weight on my shoulders. (For whatever the reason.)

My issues at home are with my parents, who support me and whom without the support I'd be lost.

The trouble is that I'm unstable as an adult, who has ability and unlimited potential, but little self-concept.

The issues I have most trouble with, are the stereotypes that my mom for example labels me with. For example, last week I didn't know why our car had anti-freeze leaking. My mom looked at me and said, you're a man, men usually know better about these things then women do. YOU should know, not ME.

It's all part of the bigger picture.

For instance, I don't like someone who is associated with my family. These are certain people I experience insecurity with from my past. Although I'm doing the best I possibly can to cope, (...and myself not being a "perfect" human being) I'm unable to cope or help realize the actual experience. Because I don't agree with certain people, my mental state is fragile. Dealing with an event becomes extrodinarily difficult, since these are people that trigger negative thoughts that I experience when they're present.

I've been guilty of taking my feelings out on my family, mostly due to the fact I have issues with those people!

The unresolved feelings/issues stem back to me, and not being resolved... my parents expect me to behave and conduct myself in a certain manner. I appear unreasonable in the situation, and my true feelings are lost. The process is a vicious cycle, that my fear and resentment are kept inside of me.

I blame my guilt, shame, and my parents for the attitude that's expected of me.

When I'm in such a situation that I've described, the mask I really should have on I keep off. I present myself in a way that others don't accept. Therefore, the maturity that anyone would normally expect, I refuse to show. The reasons for this, aren't necessarily because of my parents, rather because I haven't been able to develop a healthy sense of self.

The ramifications are terrible to overcome. I'm very unhappy.