I have grown as an actor, of which results in guilt. A freedom to be what I feel is necessary to express myself in a world programmed not to think differently.
I have been told through ambiguous channels, an aversion how to make myself feel as an inferior actor, branded on a very superficial level of prejudice.
In that sense the truth is - I try my best as an actor. The judgment and criticism are secondary.
I never imagine how rejection feels like, I simply accept it as it is governed. The political aspects ingrained in the most fake of actors range from desperation to exhibit themselves rather than an exchange of virtue. So, I have been made an outcast.
It is hard to attune myself to a place as an artist where you want something to happen for you, but people play the game of survivor instead.
Such a waste of talent.
Nothing prepares you for it. I know I am a worthy actor, I fail to see how other actors act competitively pass it off as dogma. I just do not establish cliques, an entourage or cliche.
I have my own way of wanting to arrive where I want to go as an actor. I had no idea that I was born only yesterday, in some cases as exhibited by the most insensitive of actors.
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