The lottery

Today, could be the day. . .
everyone understands me!
To help a person;
like myself.
Though sometimes,
my mind is not where it often should be?
Like winning:
the lottery.
Even if you craved for it,
have you heard about such a 'craving'.
I crave raisin pie and a cup of coffee.
I do not crave,
the television as a solution to bordom.
BORDEM.
Like playing:
the lottery.
But on days like these,
there are many different choices to be made.
None of them suggested,
that somehow a lottery has been won.
My needs are much fewer than imagining how,
a lottery could satisfy every desire.
Winning the lottery is not special,
but a fantasy for sure.
I have craved the taste of nothing in particular.
Just a chance:
the lottery prize.
Concepts of logical twists and turns,
the lottery was never one of them.
You do what you can,
and never once craving the lottery.
It becomes forgotton.
What should I do, now.
What can I be doing,
while the mind shuts its blinds down.
Perhaps, dreaming of the lottery.
The prize.
The $$$.
But none of those things.
None of it.
None, of it matters.
And I continue to be less negligent,
then pretending if I won.
Then, people would say as if they stopped
dead in their curiosity.
Look - look at that man.
Pointing in my direction.
He acts as though he just won something.
Young man, they would ask me:
did you just win the lottery.
And I would smile and lie to them.
Yes, yes I would lie to them all in shame.
Embarassed.
No, no I did not win the lottery.
Just to get the reaction.
That they would expect?
I did win the lottery.
But not because they thought I did.
Only because I know better,
that they would not think the lottery.
In my own private thoughts,
of a supermarket.
In a gorilla costume,
and a gallery of milk.