The psychology of nothing

 There is nothing special

About all the names
Because only I can feel them.
Something about all the names.
Like everything you have ever heard
Is like a stream of consciousness.
Flooding high inside of you.
From each corner of my heart.
Once all your insecurities are devoured
At an early stage.
So you can't help but wonder
What all the names have done.
Where have they gone too.
How do you retain from it.
Who makes you feel free.
And why does it take longer getting to that special destination....
might feelings be characteristized as survival.
As if survival were done but only
to feel.
Feeling is survival...
Much like Aristophanes.

In the Hostility of commandments lost

 I'm sitting here.

Hidden inside the pit of my stomach.
There is a foreign substance that feels.
It feels.
Like there is a magic to me.
All my own.
Where the roots of my life are born.
And burst through the cracks
Of a hundred if not hundreds of years.
I love that feeling I get.
Without days of self betrayal.
Or manic depressive episodes...
me on the inside.
I internalize everything I experience.
To what end should I surmise.
A much greater expectation of saving it all.
My private eyes.
If you are to fall in love...
Let it be with the sound of hope in my voice.
And this powerful romance...
romance of words.

The ask

Is the search for truth an ultimate motivating factor per se in the pure motivation to satisfy craving of a cerebral nature. Is truth only about coming from a place of acting. Something desirable and uninhibited.

I don't know what it is about me. I just feel it. I see myself as a good person yet somehow I forget. It is nothing to do with my character but probably because of an unconscious factor that I need to overcome. That this kind of self awereness I have. The one thing that dictates my sense of self. It is a matter of self love I lack. Where I value what I have and how I appreciate things in life are secondary to what I do that reinforces my internal sense of self. In my mind. Positive reinforcement is hard. Defenses come up. Together, positive reinforcement with defense mechanisms are hard wired in the brain. Positive reinforcement is something I attribute to outside forces. I think. It means we all need validation. Defense mechanisms on the other hand are addictive to killing pain. This is my personal space where in place of my insecurity my pain threshold is higher or lower which allows me to tolerate what happens based on the experience. 

So as I blend all this common sense together. In evaluating life. Is it plausible I feel empty. 

The answer is no.

In taking self inventory on this mental exercise? The conclusion I draw is no. This is not a rhetorical answer because the question I plotted in evaluating the manner I think about these things. 

I am a good person with self doubts. We all have this circuitry possessed within us. (Why I posed this.) Is because I feel how anonymous I am in real life not knowing what I bring to the table. And that's where I feel a lack of self knowledge. So, I believe in a grade 1 predicament we are all in once you face the reality of such a revelation.

Self knowledge is Socratic philosophy and the most important deliberation of your entire life. When it ends and where it begins.

Freudian perspective

(Let's relate this to a painting... we will get back to this conclusively.) If you believe in Freud you will care to infer from it. I think the quote adopts a cetain projection of what we are inhibitively speaking. You might struggle with interpretation of it but my belief is that Freud says: the subconscious transfers our own minds as an observer looks at a beautiful painting, abstract or creative... it is a piece of art that you are subjective too. That same piece of art doesn't know it is being appreciated nor appraised through your minds eye. It is a cerebral experience through yourself as an observer. You have feelings proportional to what that experience dictates.

What I am saying is our subjective reality attaches meaning to all things relative to our experience at the same moment your subconscious is processing data.

That defines expeirence in the real world.

Your observations and your inhibitions relate to something beyond control. 

However, whether of another person or not you speak to that object in your  subconscious. And this also translates back to you independent of virtue. You connect with that picture I said earlier as is a painting.

Our dispositions are all various positions from which we meet as a product of yourself. Our own image can never de displaced.

memory in action

I feel I am a hungry actor. I don't need to be dangerous. I am interesting enough.

Acting as in memory is having a conversation but with yourself. Only it is a silent observation in your own mind. Until you retrieve the information to project its processing. Its effectiveness is a remedial representation of facts occurring though subject's in real time.

Truth & Abandonment

 When I die; does anyone else die with me.

Living and breathing ...
Where it feels like home.
If my vision ever fails me,
It will be in equanimity.
I won't go to Vancouver or be told to.
Neither will I venture to Toronto because I should.
I'm in Winnipeg.
Because it's where I belong.
Not the land of milk and honey.
But the ruins of a private concern.
This is every corner of my polygon.
My mind in every impregnated thought.
A sensitive type of indemnity.

Life and its timely definition

 “Life is to be lived, not controlled; and humanity is won by continuing to play in face of certain defeat.” - Ellison

Starvation in god

 Even if it is God and only God do believe in fantasy. 

Marco Almeida ©2021

The breath of brevity

 The stinging in my eyes are that which travel through a smoke filled air as contagious a bead of sweat which slide about into your orbitals. 

You squint as you fail to see what lay ahead.
So you rely upon your psychic sensibility,
taking you where you've never truly before been.
It so happens there is no way out.
Yet this does fail to alarm you.
You are unafraid of it...
Of what can be.
So you seat yourself next to the nostalgia.

The dilettante

Being patient comes at the opposite of out waiting your own power. 

So why ask not why.

Your very existence.
It comes in assuming the position of guilt.
Whereas guilt is a man-made curse.
So selfless the act.
That your very courage depends on it.
Whereas the ability to be seen as a supernatural is the same ability to being as raw as you are.
For as deep as the eye can see...
In this inimitable force.
Your role in the circus of nature's most natural course.

The power of why

 I see a viable alternative or unknown type of variable being a common denominator. I am speaking to the nature of morality decoded. Morality is undoubtedly our ultimate characteristic infallibly human. Its alternative is linking the nature of morality without which immorality deviates from the human condition of which we are prisoner. So if we are incumbent on this aspect of life, which in order to survive means we are in search of what is moral vs what isn't there has to be a modality involved to displace in ourselves what would be immoral. 

To present how the nature of morality is decoded (as mentioned earlier) morality happens to be central into how we identify ourselves as a person with various degrees of intrinsic 1- value  2- experience 3- worth etc. 

Against all odds the most common denominator weren't the norm in association to morality if and only if behavior can be modified. I am stating there is a clear association into morality should evidence suggest behavior can be modified. I am suggesting all our behavior is geared toward acting as agents of change.

Modified behavior depending on factors of altruism as the main predicate in favor of morality, should in turn postulate that modified behavior relative to the human condition relates back. Reciprocity vs human evolutionary thinking.

The mirror mirror on the wall as we've represented it herein resulting in reverse psychology. Hold up a mirror to equalize behavior.

If you are in search of morality in every sense of the word it is the height of human observation and right on cue with the terms and conditions of satirical philosophy. For example.... examining western world psychology we have an experimental phase of thought whereas political campaigns sush as the USA use a canned heat approach to slight rivals of opposition politcal parties. 

Hitherto we also can manipulate everything in light of what state we are in based on the mother of all thought, questioning what is creation (theologically). Which is the same field of knowledge or what we seek as knowledge.  All of it is therefore ontological.

Rebellious equilibrium

 

At the core of an actors acting ability is it the courage to maintain a dialogue between being decisive at making choices or can making choices result in being decisive. How does the brain interpret what is happening vs what needs to happen. The ultimate question is what will the character want that drives the intent behind ones inhibition to do so.

The inner dimesnions of an actor

Coping mechanisms vs real action

Your aim as an actor should not be seen as an actor whose ability would be to show off effective coping mechanisms. That is not what people want to see. Let the character play you.

What are you thinking while you're acting is forming an ontological point of view. We use it in practice as we participate as sentient beings in everyday life. The usefulness and structure of language combines this ontology and we call it acting.

Truth Traveller

 

Acting is channeling a medium without the observation of your inner cynic... what exists between the relationship of both (being impulsive being neurotic) and eliminating the need to both (being seen being validated.) In return your reactions mean nothing to the abstract audience but everything from your outer critic emerge as a revelation to the moment.

My test of faith departed

We care about religion. The same way we espouse contradictory aims in real life. Therefore, this speaks to enlightenment. Philosophical interpretation bestows upon us all ritualistic type of bond. We all search for truth tying together a deontological perspective. Both duty and obligation become the same core our beliefs stem from - from its inception to the day... we are learning to walk. In other words we grow into a belief each programmed differently. The end game we all want the search for truth to guide us in that quest. We begin and end but it's an unknown variable. Constant is it's all a blur.

Kiss to kiss

 I've been around the sun many many moons and in saying this it reminds me of many many things. The duplicity of myself throughout time brings me to a realization. That no matter how much I've changed it doesn't mean I've abandoned the past. It is everything I've come to accomplish reflects to those that wanted what's best for me in my life. I am a greater person because of it. I am better able to make it my future. My ability to create what I want transcends all this. I think that makes sense to me.

The Renaissance man

 I'll give you one corner, if you can't come up with the other three don't talk to me anymore. - Confucius

The legendary Prairie God Dale Hawerchuk

 

The obituary

 What is more important in promoting truth.

Consider the following:

Is the search for questions if related to knowledge and transferable more or less important than the search for answers if related to the unknown and infinite.

Indecipherable.

Now consider the remodled thesis:

Is the search for questions as it relates to knowledge transferable hence more or less important than the search for answers relating to the unknown infinite universe.

The search for answers vs questions aligns us with narrative to a story however variable... how do we know anything? How is it can we not know!

My belief in perception as a viewer observes its blank slate of stone brings about an indecipherable sense. Where you meet something through the mind with what is indecipherable as you process what paradox brought you there. Then the language on a tablet emerges into its oneness just as nature intended.

What is acting...

 I want to keep this as simple and to the point.

What is acting...

I am asking this based on a personal journey of mine.

It is ultimately the question I face myself with that speaks to no true definitive answer.

It is to no fault of my own. I embarked on the birth of this question the same time I thought about pursuing acting as a medium. A trade. A profession.

But never once have I found the enlightenment of what is acting.

Acting to me has been a belief. A renewal. An expression of faith in what I believe can be real.

It is a search for truth in my desire to create art but more so to answer question in my idea of them.

I have come a long way in terms of proving that answer is relevant provided the question 'what is acting' isn't unanswerable. I don't want a discussion of sort that compares to a dog chasing its own tail or a chicken running with its head cut of or a pin the tail on the donkey.

This question if at all answerable deserves one.

I have traveled this far...

Do not expend unnecessary energy unwisely inconspicuous to your true true character.