The ask

Is the search for truth an ultimate motivating factor per se in the pure motivation to satisfy craving of a cerebral nature. Is truth only about coming from a place of acting. Something desirable and uninhibited.

I don't know what it is about me. I just feel it. I see myself as a good person yet somehow I forget. It is nothing to do with my character but probably because of an unconscious factor that I need to overcome. That this kind of self awereness I have. The one thing that dictates my sense of self. It is a matter of self love I lack. Where I value what I have and how I appreciate things in life are secondary to what I do that reinforces my internal sense of self. In my mind. Positive reinforcement is hard. Defenses come up. Together, positive reinforcement with defense mechanisms are hard wired in the brain. Positive reinforcement is something I attribute to outside forces. I think. It means we all need validation. Defense mechanisms on the other hand are addictive to killing pain. This is my personal space where in place of my insecurity my pain threshold is higher or lower which allows me to tolerate what happens based on the experience. 

So as I blend all this common sense together. In evaluating life. Is it plausible I feel empty. 

The answer is no.

In taking self inventory on this mental exercise? The conclusion I draw is no. This is not a rhetorical answer because the question I plotted in evaluating the manner I think about these things. 

I am a good person with self doubts. We all have this circuitry possessed within us. (Why I posed this.) Is because I feel how anonymous I am in real life not knowing what I bring to the table. And that's where I feel a lack of self knowledge. So, I believe in a grade 1 predicament we are all in once you face the reality of such a revelation.

Self knowledge is Socratic philosophy and the most important deliberation of your entire life. When it ends and where it begins.