I like to be narrated

There is a sense of not being depressed, that I prefer to enjoy. . . being at peace. My spirit is very concealed, maybe, candid due to my depression.

The times have changed in respect to my feelings of a self regard?

Now that I work, a recent university graduate, I must remember what that achivement means to me. I need this opportunity to examine - as briefly as I can - what the challenge I put myself up to is.

Finding a job where I can further define my independence as an individual, helps renew my credibility and characteristics as a person. It helps to build my confidence, dignity, and increased the level of accomplishment.

Perhaps, this follows how Dr. Gordon meant when he told me I'd feel better about myself. Getting a job was a good step toward freeing myself from my depression. Now, I have a vision that can work for me. One of the bigger things I decided to stop doing, was when I left acting classes with Onalee. I still feel that decision was best, due to the money I would have to spend I rather save for myself. I lost my faith in Onalee. But Dr. Gordon is convinced it is my lack of determintion and consideration for myself that I'm elluding from myself, that is the reason why I stopped pursuing acting.

My reasonable conscious self, as I can only relate to Dr. Gordon's assesment that my sense of purpose was grounded as a result of quitting.

However, I still must continue no matter the consequence. My opinions are not to be validated, I trust my judgment and not anyone else has better advice to offer.

Dr. Gordon asking me to leave his practice untill I decide what I want to achieve, was a case of reality. I need to make sense of the world around me, and I needed to simplify exactly where I stood in order to rectify any potential amount of freedom I possess.

To be honest, the control factor in my behavior on and off of this keyboard spins me around in circles. I hate it, how the memory of me that I must come face to face with is almost confusing to sort everything out, seems unfair. I block those things out I suppose! I really suffer from the explanation part of it, which is the reason I write it out.

I have always had felt neglected, if I couldn't properly express what I felt I have to offer. This seems like non-sense a lot of the time. Dr. Gordon taught me that these types of inhibitions are called "negative thoughts", that give a false interpretation to the external world that sees my behavior.

Tomorrow, I work again. I've thought about the objectives associated with selling merchandise and what affect sales impact my job. I moved into an environment, where I can move ahead and realize all I have done.

My dad wants to sell the family business, and I need to move out of the house (sooner rather than later) although I seek to be happy, I wonder if ruling out moving to Portugal as an option?