October 14, 2012
Today I have another day of extra work ahead of me, I will be on set for the production "Curse of Chucky" being shot here in Winnipeg.
I have made it to my call time of 1pm, on location, confronting the nightmare of being an extra on set. There is a really big herd of people, large casting call, which only lends to my disbelief of this entire process. I see a few faces I recognize, but I can spot the crabs from a mile away, waiting - waiting to be helped out of their place, placed back outside the water tank - until, until a unfamiliar version of super villains in rescue capes are summoned, only nothing can truly save them from this torture chamber.
It is a rather disparaging feeling being held in captivity as a background performer, I feel immediately aware that the surroundings for the best part of the day are confines to my fear of isolation. Only everyone that shows up here, are quite well confidential of what they are actually doing - if at all. I feel a bit as a revolutionary amidst this group of rabid foreigners.
This day began with waking up at 10am, ready for 12pm, driving to pick up coffee on the way to the cattle call, ensuring that I also purchase a footlong from the nearest subway I could find, in protest of the sure depriving nutrition we would be lacking. So far, so good - .
I find it more of a relief to feel ignored than it is to feel betrayed by someone not worthy of pure honest affection.
It feels more than oddly enough^ to think of what I learn through this experience of strangers meeting other strangers with shoes they pretend are too big to fill. I actually take a lot from these incandescent moments as other people are.
It is not as life altering as my afflicition suggests, but this - this is my reality winding everything around in a way there is some kind of life present.
I find it often, I am prematurely destine to be a star (movie extra), as so many aspire not to be, which tells me of a higher state of what this industry should I participate in it. To define myself as an actor, there must be some form of derelict happening unknown to the trained eye. Do I see myself as an actor - in a highly pretentious playground. There has to be a reason to be sitting here against these odds of being a fly on the wall. Which is more interesting, an insect or myself. I work towards this understanding of a higher purpose, totally unaware of my most immediate future, whereas there are those which surrender to the status quo. I feel I am a man against the odds of a room without such heavy hearted wisdom which is my own. At least I am conscious of what I feel about being trapped in the same world everyone else seem to be immune. I have to create this internal dialogue, which speaks to the silence of such thoughtful truth.
This is my medium, this is why I am here. I see a present tense unlike many others such as myself does. I do not think I take anything away from people, people that are not as sensitive to being seen for their true nature.
I think I have wanted that my whole life, to emancipate the true nature of being, into something that remains free of conventional modes, of thought, atypical to how most people surrender a fearful mutiny, only the mutiny they feel is fucking useless.
"...free of conventional modes, of thought, atypical to how most people surrender a fearful mutiny, only the mutiny they feel is fucking useless." (MA2012) People lack the "true nature" of being into nothing; rather then empower themselves against the ideologies of modern day conventions, which makes most people typical to a cause which is exactly the same as everyone else is as status quo. People fear mutiny when it should be themselves empowered by truth of a personal nature.
^This demonstrates random thought processing, can influnence the world around you without it having to participate. Thoughts create structure in the universe not ruled by laws. This is what now seperates me from the rest of the world as I see it.
Sandwiches have been served, with the plastic smell wrapped in it, stale bread buttered with tuna.
We have been forewarned of piracy issues pertaining to privacy of the movies exclusive content. Nothing worth confidentiality under provisions of an agreement I had been ORDERED to sign, NOT on the basis of refusal, supposedly will not allow me to reveal anything to do with the content of the movie, specific to the scenes being put to film. Such rules are a flagrantly intent on protecting the "integrity" of the film, more absurdly to this is we were warned that an "army of lawyers" would guard any infringement against these rules. If we have to agree based on this apparatus, what is the point of criminally responsible intervention, how can one person be visibly "irresponsible" for breaching the special bonded agreement, not following a code of conduct.
The question is why - why am I required, on the CONDITION, to the movies production, if I cannot be trusted ORIGINALLY.
My right as a person cannot be completely compromised, based on falsifying double standards FORCED onto me.
"My right as a person cannot be completely compromised, based on falsifying double standards FORCED onto me." (MA2012) ^My personal privacy is written off based on acts of contrition, nice logic there fukwits.
It has been a long day here, the scenes are fairly non-existent when it comes to pure movie making, really dry sense of raw talent taking place, everyone is faking it. So tedious and boring, no honest flare whatsoever from anywhere. This is an actors buried sense of self, where no inspiration is evident from a lack of parody. No one on this set cares.
^I am opposite of all this.
When I am paid a compliment for "being a quiet guy" it instantly tells me how interesting I must be to other people, because I make silence interesting to watch... imagine that.
As I sit here on this learning curve in my dream life as a professional from Winnipeg, is a culmination of all my ideas coming full circle, that no matter where I shall end up, it will be because of my truth as an actor.
On the nature of true unconditional confidentiality.
"You must not act with complicity, based on the fact which you agreed to.""Really; even if I lied to you about it."
My stop at Subway for a footlong was a major win, I am not hungry right now, which sure beat the crap they offered to shove in our mouths.
"^This demonstrates random thought processing, can influnence the world around you without it having to participate. Thoughts create structure in the universe not ruled by laws. This is what now seperates me from the rest of the world as I see it." (MA2012) My best entry of the week.
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Bible Time @Bible_Time
How much better it is to get skillful & Godly Wisdom than gold! & to get understanding is to be chosen rather than silver. Proverbs 16:16
Retweeted by Marco Almeida
Erotic Sex Facts™ @EroticSexFacts
36% of people under 35 send texts or get on facebook/twitter after sex.
Marco Almeida @bigcanadiano
@EroticSexFacts That has to be the most pointless factual piece of fictitious reality I have ever read.
Marco Almeida @bigcanadiano
If you can stop the Giants offense, I look at Eli as unstoppable, best qb in the league, yes even ahead of Rodgers.
CM Punk @CMPunk
“@theboydello: @CMPunk you just started a rumor that you're retiring in 2015.” Ain't a rumor if its true.
Marco Almeida @bigcanadiano
@CMPunk @theboydello Unless you totally get screwed, you have created too much momentum to just give up on your character now.
Shawn Mullin @shawnmullin
What on earth happened to the 49ers today? I know they're not going to win every week but they were destroyed.. the Alex Smith of old.
Marco Almeida @bigcanadiano
@shawnmullin Crashing down to earth is more like it.
Shawn Mullin @shawnmullin
@bigcanadiano or had a bad game
Erotic Sex Facts™ @EroticSexFacts
It's harder to tell a lie to someone you're sexually attracted to.
Marco Almeida @bigcanadiano
@EroticSexFacts Unless you are plugging her in the ass, there is no chance that - that is true. They are not worthy of affection otherwise.
Marco Almeida @bigcanadiano
"An illegal alien, a Muslim and a Marxist walk into a bar. Bartender asks, "What'll it be Mister President?" < Most ignorant statement ever.
Marco Almeida @bigcanadiano
RT: "I'm such a pushover and I hate it." You probably are not a pushover, as you are in over stating the obvious to most people.
Marco Almeida @bigcanadiano
RT: "If you're clingy please don't come near me." Are you not really questioning someone else's vulnerability in place of your own paranoia.
Marco Almeida @bigcanadiano
Now, when I see myself today without comparing me to my future self, I realize an ignorance I never thought before possible.
^The truth is, I have been a person who puts others ahead of himself, as a more refined sense.
Marco Almeida @bigcanadiano
Argo is getting some good reviews, I have to experience this for myself. Affleck, is a dickhead so I remain skeptical.
Marco Almeida @bigcanadiano
I love it how the worst type of people I feel are hypocritical of others, are ignorant to it themselves.
Melissa Lauren @MelissaLaurenM
Detroit city just giving it to 'er in baseball and football. Now we just need hockey
Marco Almeida @bigcanadiano
@melissalaurenm I would punch myself in the face for you, if I ever fucked something up.
Marco Almeida @bigcanadiano
Legal boundaries of a physical nature are always present, to my personal nature cannot - "not" exist.
Casey Peterson @caseyrpeterson
It's starting to feel like the Triple OT wings game with how tired I am and the game seems never ending lol
Marco Almeida @bigcanadiano
@caseyrpeterson Is that the game Larionov scored the winner.
Casey Peterson @caseyrpeterson
@bigcanadiano Yes!
Marco Almeida @bigcanadiano
@caseyrpeterson That Larionov goal was epic. Such a class act.
Marco Almeida @bigcanadiano
(Part 2) "give glory to your Father who is in heaven. -Matthew 5:16 " < Does this also mean I am anointed of sin.
Marco Almeida @bigcanadiano
(Part 1)"Let your light shine forth before men that they may see your good works &" So what then if god annoys me.
Marco Almeida @bigcanadiano
"It is through cooperation, rather than conflict, that your greatest successes will be derived." - Ralph Charell
Melissa Lauren @MelissaLaurenM
Living might mean taking chances but they're worth taking.
Marco Almeida @bigcanadiano
@MelissaLaurenM That is my reason for being so attracted to your personality, you have defied norms that many others would not THINK of.
Marco Almeida @bigcanadiano
@MelissaLaurenM My expectations today are much more relevant to me now, that I have endured, through a time of taking a path less traveled.
Marco Almeida @bigcanadiano
@MelissaLaurenM In my eperience, living life truthfully all depends on my sense of self, I use to have a very false idea of what life is.
Marco Almeida @bigcanadiano
Dogs should be given rights and issued passports just like humans do have to.
