What does it mean to be afraid. Is it fear based logic or just some emotional distress of an absent cause. I call it conformity.
- Marco
Thursday, April 30, 2026
Wednesday, April 29, 2026
The brain's circuitry
If you've ever held a dog as they took their last breath, you understand love in a way many never will.
==============
I had to stop right now and let this affect me, here. So I can express what Tia means to me. To the day she left.
Holding my Tia's little head as her face was resting in the palm of my hands, as I cradled her to her last given breath - this is what grace is. And I will never let go of her because of this. We came face to face with each other for it. Death was a moment in time but not something that took her away from here. I know what love is, because she taught me what love is. I learned so much from my little girl.
The light shines, forever.
Were my life incomplete without her, I think about her everyday. How completely full of love I feel with sharing the same thing through her soft yet fierce spirit. This very same thing. It all happened this way, and if it weren't for Tia, the truth would seemingly be as meaningless. She filled my life with joy. Tia fulfilled that unconditional need we all must have if you are to live life without it feeling a lie.
Thank you my little guardian angel.
God is good. Always in my heart.
Not a day goes by (without you). She is very much alive as in no small part of me. I experience the day's without you as much as I lived with you. I can not be more grateful for your life in mine.
-Marco
intoxicating defect (April 29th 2009)
As do - stop - then do - run, that is the kind of adrenaline one might find dense, so dense, it fills the air in a making of lighter weight to carry as if gravity reversed itself, only, to reduce our sense of less application of necessary force. That redundant, because, if force travelled upward without any kind of gravity would defy the laws of a physical nature, the laws of gravity would not allow for such disobedience. This provides a clear example, of the Newton provision to gravity, that all such force cannot travel upward without a return to it's original frame of conjecture.
The more you actually try to prove, perhaps, the less you get out of it - would have been a better result - known to such things without any weight to them. However, even insufficient information finds its way into an inscape, trapped, within the parade of gravitational pull, so, parades were given a general route to follow without really telling us anything about its purpose. Science, has no mystery attached to its easy, happy, frame of existence in life.
Upon so much one stands by the wooden leg, on a little, deviant, perhaps omission of greed, as completely left to search a time in place that that the place originated. Where does this keep, holding down, this weight of such fortunate circumstances, described, only as the perverse patronizing force of a cynical nature.
This body type of no particular birthstone, gave such, to the freedom of age upon years, counting not days or years, but only recurring thoughts of force given to him by nature.
First came the worst - as forming the heart in shape with love - came betrayal. It is something almost unavoidable, but to the best of my knowledge, bitter resentment does not contain which instead in fact rose out of inner peace, strength, sincerity, which can only amount to pleasure of something unknown to most anyone else.
Then perhaps time became a pill of enemy-like, proportions, that you consume in a small tedious dose, a prevention of the mind to wander back from there, that in time, you may recognize how these creatures concealed itself from you, only to reveal the mask they can no longer hide behind, that when they see you, you may know they are in fact - yes - in a small tedious dose, you may know they are in fact living a lie.
Though there is nothing that this time in the occupancy of a story, can measure the diameter of width over infinite whereabouts, such moments are made. As to refuse the laws of physics, to also may refuse, those that contaminate it.
Along side of moral ambiguity, is intellectual dishonesty. The flood against time is a result of perverse cynicism, so to speak, one combines the elements of random execution as if to examine nothing worth deciding, then replaces it without the ethics of reason, then dangerously crossing the joining crossroad. This is an extension of conscientious stupidity, for sincere ignorance, but what can only then be replaced, again with defying such anarchy to the same principle once it appears.
The weight of the world in a free falling choice, coincidental to, the defiance of laws or scientific explanation.
No longer has the insubordination of gravity, felt so mundane, as if to say take me from this long awaited return, as if to respond, you were never here that long from vacation, then what are you doing here, you forgot. The question was a matter of decency, yet, so few people act in truth, they rather pretend, the lie is always a better solution to the problem. Though even lies deserve proper solutions, which is how dignity is recovered from such greater things less than short-lived material in matter.
Though once, that same liar snuck in behind that buried shadow, quite content with being only half-witted, or clever depending on who you ask, throughout this time in the trial of no-return, so many disguised have made their living on it. To this end, it is to refuse going through the motions, where as they were - so many disguised - rest on their laurels.
In my time, I see a generation gone by which I refuse to acknowledge with any envy, only remorse, that those are they who are now happier going through the motions - it is there that they will stay, I seek refuge, from that one-upmanship, of ulterior motive, or grieving a reality, that represent so few.
Which is where my gravity has always been.
Truth as perception
This is what I call the skill in seeking truth (the root of finding wisdom) and what is perception to everything you observe (thinking).
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
If you would try climbing a tree for the first time it is an attempt much similar to an impossible task inappropriate of living life's greatest adventure. The question is not to do with whether the adventure happens, but if the climb is worthwhile. That is man's greater dilemma.
- Marco
☆April 29th 2013☆
"An excellent man: he has no enemies, and none of his friends like him."
-- Oscar Wilde
○°○°▪︎°☆°°☆°
I find it hillarious people that do not care about me, go out of their way to show what it entails - as if I fail I know the difference.
Marco
April 29th 2014
Ultimate cop out: treating someone like they don't know more than you when clearly they do.
- Marco
Tuesday, April 28, 2026
April 28th 2025
I never plan on what I write. This is one of those "into the moment" type of things. . . banged it out in 20min but thought if you would care read it why not freely give it to an audience. I'm always experimenting with language because language is fascinating to me. Believe it or not - my entire thought process was to capture something that would make the reader not only think - but think emotionally. (Maybe even a tear shed. . .)
It is a challenge to write - but even more curious is the process I go through to get there. I feel at peace with my style and found the voice I use. It is an exercise in romanticism with a Canadian flare, I would only imagine.
The flight of my imagination has taken hold of me. This is my tribute to the readers.
This entry just happened because I came across a skunk dead on the road today. I felt hopeless inside. I felt for the animal even though the spark had clearly met its end and left its body. I just saw the carcass and it made me revolt, so I know it is a sign that makes me express it creatively as I try to. My attempt may be futile - but it is inspired nonetheless.
To be a writer - you MUST be your own worst critic, because you cannot imagine who your audience IS or MAY NOT BE - ever. If you start to write as a creative endeavor - the practice is that you write and write and write, until it becomes you. You are your own critic because you don't wait nor depend on getting rich quick by someone else "DISCOVERING YOU." That is all such total corporate bullshit.
I can write. That's all I know.
I write as though anonymously thinking no one will ever be reading what I have to say, but even if they do or they don't - the end result in my mind is the same. That is my secret.
Marco ~
Monday, April 28, 2025
Titled: The skunk
When I was ten.
I met a skunk.
This animal I connected with.
The skunk has since died.
I saw that same skunk today, again.
Saw the skunk lay dead on the road.
Splattered road kill.
And all that I could think.
Was how sad I was.
It made me sad to see my friend there on the road.
With the foul odor. . . emanating.
This unmistakable odor filled the air across that murder scene.
And as I drove by to see my friend, the dead animal . . .
spoke nothing. Never did anything to deserve this fate.
And as I reminisce. . .
like a magic bullet - invisible only to those who could not truly see.
I wish that they could have my special ability -
to see my skunk friend,
having given me the keys to life.
A life that I should feel empowered by my own volition.
My volition to make others see and not be seen. Is such a lie -
not the same rules followed by that game of hide-and-seek children play?
I find myself so utterly complete, now.
That the skunk is spreading that awful aroma to remind us how shallow we are.
The skunk was probably just trying to find its way to nowhere.
Because that is nature's destination - the place that has no real name
Something like the mother's womb. (The skunk never a name was given.)
But this game shows us how to defeat ourselves.
The hide-and-seek we look to find our way home without knowing,
where or how the direction takes us,
because that cold cold air passage that travels throughout time.
Is it real or what is not.
We find our way. . . out to the middle of nowhere.
To find the mother's womb.
Even that skunk had a name.
I just forgot to name it.
(end.)
Marco Almeida © 2025
-The Peg
April 28th 2021
I've been around the sun many many moons and in saying this it reminds me of many many things. The duplicity of myself throughout time brings me to a realization. That no matter how much I've changed it doesn't mean I've abandoned the past. It is everything I've come to accomplish reflects to those that wanted what's best for me in my life. I am a greater person because of it. I am better able to make it my future. My ability to create what I want transcends all this. I think that makes sense to me.
April 28th 2014
I question myself as an adult far worse than I did as a minor. Does this mean I won or lost.
April 28th 2013
I dedicate this to all men and women. Especially those that think they know I am NOT capable- how true my emotions can be disproving how critics shallow of their own actions actually are.
April 28th 2010
When it comes to confidence, perhaps the difference being adulated, recycled, there's a winner take all attitude, which some find most rewarding? I had only insufficient amount of time to recall from memory, It became a clear moment, that pedestal wore a crack in the design.
We are alone
This makes sense. Critics without the limits of their imaginative output need not apply.
The argument that "We can't be the only living entities" is incomplete. At best we are alone in universe. That is what we would rather deny.
There is nothing wrong with misrepresenting an argument that never had a chance. (i.e. 'we are not alone')
There is only a part of us that understands this.
Ultimately, true intelligence requires us to care for what we do have the capacity to change.
- Marco
My ADHD brain (by: Marco Almeida)
Dr Russel Berkeley
This is me. I am clinically diagnosed. I have emotions which other's might (i stress the term 'might have') why? Because other's are too afraid to go to the places I go. Yet, the danger herein has never been me. It points to shallowness I expose other's with. Learning about adhd all my adult life. Hearing this?
It comes as a relief to me.
Most people can't handle.
I have been blacklisted in the acting community by certain people.
My core membrane (my soul) knows better than those impervious to truth.
- Marco
My ADHD brain (by Marco Almeida)
March 29th 2026
This makes total sense to me. I Will make this relatively brief. I have ADHD and I am clinically diagnosed (not self diagnosed). My point is that everything Dr. Barkley said is the truth. It's true on a purely empirical level strictly through observation of the ADHD brain and how it operates. The single most effective thing I have done for myself is to ascertain what objective my feelings (no matter how intense they are) I am experiencing. I tie the words objective together with feelings to equalize what is the source. To identify it and what triggers my emotion. Therefore ultimately the answer is to lead with intent. My intention is a powerful source for what my nature acts. And it is in this nature that the brain regulates itself impulsively. What I do need is to say here that depression affected me personally and to get through the stages in my life that involved identifying it. The cause of depression may be attributed to being unaware of how ADHD and my emotional self DID NOT regulate.
Conclusion:
With the proper tools and channels - I got though what seemed to be perilous in my advanced stages of ADHD. What I mean to say is that I have advanced ADHD in that I was able to see the causes that relate to my ADHD brain and how unique it is. I have taken anti depressants (to deal with depression) but it is not something I can say attributes to any sort of solution. Solutions come through making the effort to regulate and order to regulate is a recalibration of myself. Recalibration being I although use anti depressants (medication) is not a miracle drug. The cure is not in drugging yourself. The purpose of using medication is to help yourself use resources that help you learn what coping mechanisms you must apply.
Note: I have taken Concerta (ADHD specific drug) for a period of about 2yrs. It helps my attention/focus and aids in my regulation of behavior.
When you think of regulation = think of a new manner of which you employ your agency. Your behavior is a reflection. As a reflection of what you do is your mirror in the world. TO the world you do NOT have to mistake regulation for "hiding" your (ADHD from "the world"). I repeat: do not confuse regulation as some form of "hiding ADHD" so the world can't see it.
ADHD is a gift. Just always - always remember that.
- Marco 🍁
Monday, April 27, 2026
April 27th 2010
For those who are ignorant that practice it (. . .do not generally agree on anything -) so instead, they speak as though to ask if being unsuccessful is trademark of another persons failure. Once the skill to eliminate that from distinction is acquired through a mental process, you have found not only wisdom, but the greatest intent the will can imagine is infinite.
I Don't know this to be apriori to anything I've ever written, as important as this stated above.^ It is a critical test to intervene with decision making abilities. I detect it on a continual level of personal growth.
===============
More specifically, almost as foolishly, people actually rather not think but believe bigamy is their best resort.
In a universe gone blind of material wealth (the slippery slope may travel to its furthest point of no reflection in a black hole), only then does heart matter in your least consumption.
In a world where material wealth increases your chances of survival benefit, you might also find, those that retreat in cowardice - an empty dare of you to stare it down in the face.
Some are eager to deny it completely without care.
================
So this might sound as if everything stated above, requires some form of imperiousness to being. However, I thought it best to break it down into parts definable.
The main premise of:
i. ignorant are those that practice (ergo) do not generally agree on anything. (i.e. easily patronized/liar)
This equates to a cause, you experience is habitually to it, as if standing in line at the checkout, until that Safeway cashier, has all but threatened by you, been in a preemptive type of readiness, they've concealed all information about you to (your name), trusted on your credit card (i.e. method of payment). Until you've chosen to pay with said commodity exchange, they prevented everything else that could possibly limit that. In so many words, it's a robotic manual, customer to cleric transaction.
The saddest part is, when I used to work at Safeway, it was by far the worst experience I've ever encountered, working behind a cash machine. Until getting used to it, the problem was not with the customers, but with my undesirable computer contaminated with my natural face to face concern with an actual human being.
So, in conclusion the first part, assumes only that between the manual dexterity of one's actual reason to purchase something, (the social contract is meant to be made via a non-existent machine processing said transaction,) to the cashier. Once this transaction is made, the process is one of mere alienation between two persons, which have no real connection.
ii. so instead, they speak as though to ask if being unsuccessful is trademark of another persons failure (i.e. "you are not as successful as I am")
So this also lead me to report, on such incredulous style of observing a simple everyday transaction, indeed has an impact over psychological nature of events. It is transient in every way possible, between various different situations which require solution to random problems.
When I see myself at a checkout, it is rather strange to me, why can't the next person before me, not just walk out and leave with their groceries, if the invalid person, said, "I resent having to meet these Patronizing Liars, I am leaving with my Groceries." Neither have they paid.
I would look at that without any form of dismissive effort. In fact I would look upon it with the same type of understanding, if it were given to me in such a context as written here.
Conclusion
A good way to look at this imposition of fatalist argument, is how the US constitution does not interfere (with gun laws) as opposed to what are civil rights (i.e. machines are not drafted as having those rights.) Therefore, there is confusion when attributing that definition into a form of double jeopardy. It is a critical distinction, between the fear of social contract, if disconcerting the very natural betrayal a person must feel having had their freedom taken from them, if not out of pleasure.
hidden beneath the cost (April 27th 2010)
Why resort the silliness of sarcasm, to observation of the kind choice's are made, that follows your report of it.
In today's world, I've started my very own swear jar (business) credited $1mil dollars toward myself.
It is an ingenious strategic method, which will work out very nicely.
April 27th 2017
I am not angry enough about my past to admit it as time permits I do and so I act to dismiss myself out of it meaninglessly.
So it's safe to say my past is a sad fate of bewilderment. It has lead me here to nowhere. And yet I find satire in my sad criticism of it.
I fast-forward my presence of mind entirely. And I look right through my past as some form of trickery and deceit played on me.
My past as I recollect it now is a vessel of misfortune. What I trust in what I know today is an advanced science. A trivial recollection.
When I think of my past, my inhibitions relate to many different things attached. And the liberation I partook in is a whole other matter.
When I look at my character I pick up signals, fragments of my past, and I fail to realize I am not that person any longer.
I don't know if my personality has changed because most people I know wouldn't care to notice it if I did. That is a sad fate of reality.
One can only ask for self discovery as something amazing to behold. Not a bad thing to adjust myself to. The past snickers.
- Marco
reinvention for edification
The book is out on me.
It is documented well -
and predictable of others.
Isn't it such a wonderful thing -
that feeling you get
when you want nothing in return?
That's when the light from the sun -
is hitting you.
It hits right -
right where
it needs to be.
It's like listening to music
for the first time -
and falling in love with it
for - no reason.
I am not some cheap-trick;
what is the privilege to
this secrecy.
Marco Almeida
-The Peg
Sunday, April 26, 2026
trading weakness over fatality
What is it about this face. Not even I know. I am just happy to be who I am and what is mine (I openly think) about how awesome life can be. So I feel my way through things. "Feeling is" what should be, one's first principle in life. What do I mean by feeling? It means to be so sure of yourself as honesty is never a question of self doubt. That is not denial of a psychological fact. It is a feeling that bestows me, until I get to that place of courage in my sense own of it. Courage that is powerful in the way god made me.
I don't know why this is. I just know when I speak and what is the language I use to express myself, is feeling. If you can master feeling in what you know is your idea of yourself. Then, you master things that you never thought possible before you knew it as truth. (That's my poetic self talking.) What is factual in life is empirical knowledge.
Therefore, I feel everything. If- feeling is the self put together by centering what I feel around (me) then the truth beneath the surface of it always appears as a skill in feeling itself. Self mastery is not to be caught in this trap. You fulfill your needs without chasing your own tail. This is the goal. The meaning behind your false sense of purpose. Because, before you realized your feeling about anything in life, your idea was not yet made. What informs you of your feelings is feedback or self-psychology held as an insecurity. When you master your self-measured idea's, then you become what your feeling is.
My point is I have an awareness that is special to how I feel. And to have this feeling is something you can not absorb from the outside. It must move you. You are the centered feeling then, coming from within. It is this that feeds my conscious manner of living. What creates a feeling where feeling is freedom so profound, you believe you were meant to live for it. That is not to be confused with as making choices. Feelings are not to be chosen nor something we choose to have. Feeling is heuristic. It can also be a fractal of your experience. Psychology is your feeling in everything that relates to opposing forces. You may think you are being opposed. But the psychological lies to you. So thought is stuck. Free your mind with what you feel is acting for you to express it. The last sentence is the only rule you need to follow.
Now revert to the first rule I recited on this page. Allow for your feelings to be what limitless energy comes through you. The first rule is feeling - feeling that is not just a word any more than it is a verb. To feel is to destroy. And to destroy, is to feel so completely helpless that it makes you a victim to others opinions of you. That is how feeling works. Sartre said that experience precedes essence. The truth is your vulnerability exists before the experience arrive.
My guess is that wisdom describes is what makes you, feel.
(end.)
- Marco
Phillipians 2.3
Phillipians 2:3
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.
4
Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.
5
Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
6
Who, being in very nature [1] God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
7
but made himself nothing, taking the very nature [2] of a servant, being made in human likeness.
April 26th 2018
Maybe the hole in my heart
is much too heavy for my soul or maybe I'm bigger than that. All in all its a dilemma I'd wish on no one. It's an endless force of gravity. I want to reach higher for things but I just can't. Oddly I am at peace not at war with myself.-Marco
Hidden meanings in the Heuristic self
When I told a friend of mine today that I don't accept if my intentions are "toyed" with on no uncertain terms, and they show their true colors. I am glad to find out in the end - they are nothing worth the time it took to get to know them. All I said: was that I refuse to be underestimated (paraphrased) and he didn't want to hear me say it. For whatever reason. Moral consideration is a two way street but it's not how everyone runs the race.
There are times in life I reason out loud'. Other times I reason - I do it to privately consume what others do not know. IT takes on a life of its own.
The times I reason out loud - I do it to teach the world what it's like to have learned and unlearned from past behavior.
I use Facebook as medium to accomplish this. And I do it well.
I do it so well it gets to an ascertaining ability, that some have the right to appreciate or not. No one is forced to relate back to me.
I suppose saying things as fairly as I do my best to - does not to offend, in no intent to have offended.
I will keep posting despite the headless horseman that label these encounters as prescribed. (It's been a good day.)
What I will never accept is a person's cowardice in life. We've all been there. You know the copout types. I refuse to be one of the many - so much the few.
In conclusion - I think using Facebook as a vehicle is as real as real life gets. Everyone is not skilled at it. Other's live in a vacuum and do not know how. That is not up for me to decide. But to insult me then backpaddle based on your personal inadequacy is not mine to be guilty of. Further to finding out. What I learned today is that many feel the same way about me. I have people I love. I don't love everyone - especially the same that treat me like a criminal deviant on this medium - you know who you are.
What I said to this individual before he came back to delete his interaction with me - can be interpreted in one thing and the word isn't kind with me. It's the work of a coward. I call out cowards, but will never copout to one.
I've been accused of being a keyboard warrior with no due recourse to facilitate my views.
I've been accused of the privilege of living vicariously through Facebook, because what I write is not in touch with reality. Therefore, my lack of living like everyone else seems to bother people that read my (free) content. Because Facebook isn't reality.
Well - I guess my efforts change the way you've looked at the world.
I use Facebook as a free publishing tool because so many unlike myself know how to. I refuse to blame myself for the misgiving of other's that pretend they don't know the difference.
(end.)
Saturday, April 25, 2026
April 25th 2014
I would like to think my intentions are correct insofar I have a sensual lasting flavor that consent is real and not a participation medal.
- Marco
=============
The sexual revolution has nothing to show for it - at present the idea is that sex should be modeled as a weapon or rape culture.
- Marco
============
What beauty transcends is not feeling those vibrations which inspire you to be among a band of vultures.
- Marco
=============
There is no policy in how people must treat each other is the best way to observe everything in life.
- Marco
--------------------
Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality. - Jules de Gaultier
------------------
How can anyone that posts anything on twitter claim they care about what you post if what they posted is unprovoked. No logic.
- Marco
Ask me what I think. . .
"I am a majority share holder in my own right. To keep this short, I have an affinity to reason, I try not to give away too much of myself. It is a matter of principle, a matter of energy, a focus of my own legitimacy. Somewhere between thought I wonder where to go next but what might that answer be might it make me become." Marco Almeida Aug. 31, 2012
The Confucius (in me)
Who defines who is the superior man? Pretty subjective - no? I say it’s me. lol
My rebuttal:
maybe it is you. I don't treat you as inferior. Even if I'm not buying what it is you maybe selling. To that end what deciphers right from wrong is not a question of authority. (Either way you look at it.) What justifies ones intent is to see things clearly and convert their ideas as true or false. An inferior would not. Trump is a great example of a salesman in this moment on a historical scale based on his propaganda and lies in his campaign to become president.
- Marco
stranger than death
Purpose is to live
your life as if nature
intended. To go in
the way which leads
you into a direction of bliss.
Friday, April 24, 2026
Poison arrow
I trace signs only sure that they follow patterns.
And those patters are what is my memory.
In memory I begin to sing aloud.
(But only within the walls of my mind. . .)
As the echo of my voice echoes from the inside-out.
I am - casualty to everything I've ever dreamed,
it comes trough the sound,
if - in place of my personal thoughts.
It here,
I've decided not to talk about anything.
The Symbols.
All the Words.
Many things are these.
Imagine, this proclivity I've lost for thinking.
No one else can hear?
The sound of a voice if it were lost in time -
is more a promise to make memorable.
Memorable the voices we make -
without it, I don't know a greater way of putting things.
Like if my voice were meant to make a difference.
I rather feel fully the information you feed me.
Because when I take the voice from within (me).
That voice will never be forgot.
(end.)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)