April 4th 2014

 It is funny. There are those that never respect you for what you are who expect me to fake my happiness so not to hurt their feelings.

- Marco

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I have always had a suspicion of how false my friends were to me without ever giving myself any credit. That is the strangest thing.

- Marco

April 4th 2021

 I'm not sure if I've normalized my depression by means of homeostasis or regulated it in a way. I really have no idea if it's still affecting me because I avoid dealing with it or whether I have simply allowed it to weigh on me to the point I no longer care about how it affects me. I talk about it like it is some form of detachment. Like it is a separate part of my physical and mental status. The reality I live in is much the basis for my confusion.

So much of me is just confused. Whereas I do have strong feelings for the things I do believe in and follow with my heart.

It's either a matter of credit or manner of not giving myself any credit at all.

- Marco

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Allyson Ans-Greenhalgh

Hugs. I think the word depression should be exchanged with serotonin deficiency. It’s as much medical as it is mental.

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Zach Reg

It’s braver than most to write this on here Marco. I’m guessing you are handling your feelings pretty well. For many it runs in peaks and valleys. Reach out if you need anything at all.

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Marco

without getting into too much detail im simply confused.

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ZR:

I think I get that. Confused about what? Although there is loads to be confused about. Things change. Things stay the same. Things get ugly. Things are beautiful. Things turn out way different than we all expect. Always good to have plans b,c and d too.

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Marco

confused about the predicament as I described it in my post. I have no idea if its a form of homeostasis that I'm experiencing where I've normalized something that I just accept but it still effects me in a way.

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ZR

those convos are way above my head. Lol. I say to try to talk to the people you see a lot like your mom, dad, sis, doctors or counsellors. Sorry.

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Marco

that's cool. My self expression just helps me sort out thoughts not necessarily solutions.

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ZR
I totally agree. Sending light and strength your way.

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Dana Holt

Brave of you to share.

April 4th 2022

 I am not one to subscribe to conspiracy theories. In saying that I struggle with the idea that everyone in today's day and age are infatuated with celebrity. Namely the celebrity we ourselves will never ever attain. I feel a personal connection with that on an emotive level.

Why is it so important to feel famous but to declare you have no real personality you bestow.

This is my inner crtitic taking aim at the world view of a godless universe I am aware to.

I guess it'd be easier to have just made a simpler statement being I don't like it. I don't like living in a world where everyone thinks being famous is important. Because being famous does not make a person omnipotent or omniscient.

When I look back at the person I was. This person I've become is greatly guilty of trying to fit into a mold of encountering fame. It is along the lines of trying to chase down a rabbit without realizing the rabbit has no real destination.

- Marco

Liberation and its truth

 

 “Poetry is finer and more philosophical than history; for poetry expresses the universal, and history only the particular.” Aristotle

Frank O'Hara

 

Silence is psychological

 Well - what else is new. Insane, dull, brutality of silence.

-Marco

April 3rd 2013

 It is past 11pm. I am not filing a complaint. I am simply stating a fact. Reason being, I have raised my understanding to a parody of my former self. I feel my psychic sensibility has transcended - that at the same time, will help me establish a faith to defeat failure of false beliefs.

- Marco

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Have strength, because power lacks persistence. - Marco Almeida

Good Friday

 I feel that channeling my aggression or at the very most releasing my aggression is the root cause of being shallow. Yes, shallow. I do not find comfort when facing my enemies with an attempt at provocation. Using my masculinity in terms of my faith. That takes a courage to invert the depth of my shallowness and intercept it from governing my own world. I feel the need to judge and be judged is a shallow world view. It stems from aggression. The need or want for power which leaves you powerless against the enemy you espouse.

Aggression can be confused with violence. In thinking of violence turned inward, you no longer come from a place of what aggression you have. Instead, we look for peace in ourselves to own aggression rather than deviate from norms associated with detonating that aggression from fear to violence.

It can be argued violence is proven in a historical sense as a necessary evil.

I am arguing to be sure of oneself isn't about containing anger or aggression that once it's contained or turned inwardly that it eventually manifests and leads to violence. On the contrary. The acknowledgement of aggression leads you to the answers you probably would never bother to uncover if you did not meet your violent nature on.

Head to head, violence and aggression is a work of language in my own acceptance of it. It is not about rejection. Glorifying violence has been accounted for. What I am talking about is a shift in a spiritual revival.

I look at myself and how violence is my aggression turned inward. I am a sensitive individual and the fact of the matter is we are only human. We are built to take things personally but not meant to live in the vacuum it is.

My purpose for describing my feelings is self expression I find language releases my true inhibitions.

It's the very same reason I've used Facebook... to elicit my life experience.

To transfer the demons in my mind into a rational account of it so I can see those demons translate into ideas.

The main difference in the past 15years I've spent on Facebook has been an experiment in social science. I've written my ideas on Facebook in order to test those same ideas and see the result in real time. I've been painfully rejected on so many levels but my failures do not define me. Hurt from the violence coming from others mouths or actions has proven what I have done.

God is my savior. God being my personal hero. It's been worth finding and connecting with my core. Everything I have done is an extension of my past aggression toward the material world. I am a failure in the eyes of god.

We are all failures in the eyes of god only do few set out to find it.

The greatest hero of them all for all history is Jesus. I have not only learned this about myself I have taken the observers of my evolution to task on this.

This is all a cause of instruction.

In light of genius

 "...I am remembering and reconstructing. Linking the last tactical sensation to the first, the latter now reconstituted on another plane:"

- Jose Saramago

"I spoke with Father Sam today over lunch in a Winnipeg café. . ."

I sat for lunch with Father Sam today, the prominent Italian priest from Winnipeg who is dedicated his life to the cloth and served as a legend in this community.

I had an invaluable conversation with him and I thought to share it. Hopefully you find it useful reading from it.

These are my thoughts: that relate to what we spoke. I admitted (to him) I was struggling with my own depression and guilt with confessing my sins. He came through for me and this is what I learned from this encounter and how I took from it. ~

The moral of the following is immanent with what I confessed to Father Sam. I know it is a private thing. But I am a traditionalist, and even though I am a traditional member for conforming to the RC faith - it is a faith undying to my death.

I told Father Sam is how I felt consumed by my guilt for my sins. That I believe we are born into sin. Therefore, it is my belief (irreligious to me or not) that even if you are not of religious belief, you automatically fall into the same category. (e.g. That no one can escape morality.)

In conclusion to our meeting, Father Sam asked me if I would accept what he listened (in our talk) was my act in confession. I obliged.

He summoned me to accept: that I can be forgiven for my sins. In return to what he said I offered, "You mean do I repent. Yes, I do." I felt he caught me. No, not lying to him. Like he caught me in light of something far more than I was prepared for. And that was the end of our conversation.

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April 1st, 2026

(Thesis)

I am RC. I know, because I am a sinner I can only come to accept it. Personally, I know that we are all born into sin. My point is if you feel guilt knowing you are a sinner in itself, makes us perfectly normal about the way we feel. If I process signs of my own sin internally, is it something I absorb without thinking. (It means you have an awareness about sin, because sin lives in us all.) Therefore, my repentance is the next question. Am I worthy of being saved?

What I overcome is the result of forgiveness. My guilt (this awareness of guilt) is the root of all my personal sin. The point of my awareness is not to do as I think I'm entitled, (i.e. lead a life of sin) but I am benefiting from receiving forgiveness no matter my sin. When questioning something I will do, (first) I allow for forgiveness then (second) I act. This is awareness between sin opposite my own repentance. Forgiveness for the sin and repentance for the act. I have to understand I am a sinner that deserves forgiveness for this awareness. I have come to terms with my own ignorance, ignorance that played a factor, and ignorance that participated in blocking me from paying it forward.

The purpose is not to be absolved in sin. It is the repentance I have to be forgiven for the guilt I have over things I can't control. Therefore, I atone to being saved. No matter what anyone says: your morality is your greatest asset. What I achieve in life is my surrendering to god. That is the where my strength lives. I abide. I obey.

Kyrie Eleison

(end.)

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This personal thesis statement is what came after I met with Father Sam (his excellency). We both agreed it was divine intervention that we were meant to have met today. The last time I had seen Father Sam was at Enzo Daniel papa Sergio's funeral.

- Marco

Marco the artist

 Here are reasons as I specify: which having seen my peril to first become an artistic professional, then, before I decided the role of a writer. (MA2013)

"I ought to refer to her as M. Let us say it is a premonition, some vague desire or vow, the simple superstition of appeasing gestures."

"I am writing slowly, writing with enormous effort after six hours of dialogue, and I am probably incapable of expressing vivid sentiments and emotions,"

"...which are set out here with some sense of order, not exactly classified,"

"...but passed from hand to hand and arranged according to their weight, density and (since I have not given up painting) color."

"I cannot write any other way, and if I have thrown myself into this writing, it was precisely in order to give myself sufficient time to think, to think with time."

"To be born, live and die are universal truths which form a natural sequence."

"If we wish to transform them into a personal truth and natural sequence, then we shall have to write much more that the three verbs arranged in that order and concede that between the two extremes of nothingness and nothingness, life may contain a number of births and deaths, not only those of others,"

"...which may touch or distress us, but our own births and deaths."

"Like a cobra, we shed our skin when we no longer fit inside it, or we lose our strength and waste away, and thius only happens to humans."

"A skin which has aged, turned dry and wrinkled covers these pages with black and white pellicles, the words and spaces between them."

- Jose Saramago

The prediction of all predictions

 Easter is a sacred time of year...This I value, and I prove it as a universal body that includes religious and non religious artifice. - Marco

 

 

 Yes. I tend to agree. But how about divine words more beautiful than are things to describe it as.

- Marco

 So if I am aware of my personal psychological space and thereby eliminate my preconceptions. Therefore, I can in fact not be taken advantage of for less. "Less" than that which is expected of me vs (my own expectations) from anyone else I find as an object to me. - Marco

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March 31st 2025

 "Ignoring a risk is not to reduce it"

- Mark Carney

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Interlocutor:

No it’s to tax it to oblivion

My rebuttal:

taxes are such a copout. No one is saying taxes are a solution. Conservatives talk about extortion. It is not. Extortion is when conservatives cut social programs to disguise the fact social programs serve corporate interests, if they are run by government agency. Social programs help dissolve the blurred line between a society that has class divided by rich and poor.

Brad Gross

Marco Almeida taxes hinder small

Business owners and people who drive

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My rebuttal: 

What are you thinking? Carney is making a valid philosophically based statement. He is saying to face the situation even if it seems like life or death. One must have courage. Not to take the risk without the truth that's involved... is what blinds you. To find out what truth is. Carney understands what Canadians are feeling. And he is facing Trump's fear based intimidation tactics with a response that Trump sees - the  can't win.

I cannot make it any clearer for you, Brad.

Irawan Wiharja

 WHERE IS WESTERN SCIENTIFIC CIVILIZATION GOING?

In recent centuries, the baton of knowledge has been held by Western scientific civilization—but since Immanuel Kant, in particular, who limited the scope of reason to the realm of phenomena—then the emergence of empiricist thinkers—followed by the proclamation of the Vienna School—we understand where science in Western civilization is headed.

The lurking danger, particularly feared by religious scholars, is when humans only understand the physical world but are blind to the metaphysical dimension beyond the physical. Rationality is distorted, swept away by the strong current of empiricism. Rationality is reduced to the empirical. The door of rationality to metaphysics is firmly closed.

But this is also a characteristic of the end times foretold by the prophets: when a one-eyed perspective becomes dominant—it is like a play that has almost entered its final act—the sign is when the antagonists have taken control of the stage.

..........

And today the world is witnessing the dominance of Western scientific civilization, which has also emerged as a worldview of science based on empiricism—framed by positivism and, on the other hand, utilized by materialists in a different way.

However, the method Science is never singular. It is not just empiricism; rationalism serves as another foundation for understanding reality. Even in the revealed religious tradition, the horizon is much broader: there is the realm of essence (the deepest ontological truth) and the realm of wisdom (meaningful wisdom that transcends mere data).

However, the tradition of modern Western scientific civilization has indeed chosen a very specific path: rigorous proof based on observation and verification. Since the rise of Francis Bacon and David Hume, Western epistemology has moved toward radical empiricism—where something is considered "meaningful" if it can be verified sensorily. This culminated in the Logical Positivism movement, which explicitly removed metaphysics from the scientific realm.

The result is clear: reality is reduced solely to what can be physically measured. Questions about meaning, purpose, and ultimate cause are no longer considered matters of science, but merely speculation or even linguistic illusions.

In fact, if we look to the broader philosophical tradition—from Immanuel Kant to Ibn Arabi—we will discover the realization that reality does not stop at phenomena. Kant himself recognized the limits of empirical reason with the concept of noumena (das Ding an sich), while Ibn Arabi spoke of layers of reality that can only be uncovered through inner purification and spiritual intuition.

At this point, we must be honest: modern science does have a strong tradition of explaining the physical "how," but it often remains silent when asked about the deepest "why." It can explain the mechanisms of nature, but it fails to answer the purpose of existence.

Therefore, it would be too shallow to reduce this brief life to merely collecting empirical facts, only to end up meaningless. Humans are not merely sensing creatures, but also meaning-seeking creatures. They ask not only "what happened," but "why do I exist" and "where is all this leading?"

This is where religion and metaphysics do not exist as "gap-fillers" (gods of the gaps), but rather as horizons of meaning—ones that have always existed in a different realm from science. Science explains the structure of the world—revelation, and wisdom explains the meaning of existence within that structure.

If both are understood proportionally, there is no conflict—instead, there is completeness: reason bridges, empiricism tests, rationalism structures, and revelation provides direction.

Without a sense of purpose in life, knowledge may be abundant—but empty of meaning—empty of spiritual happiness.

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Note: Comte adds the word science and observation together. So "if science (is) grounded in observation." The 'if' equates to a wide range of probabilities and the missing (IS)? What 'IS' lends itself to a qualification of the observer acting as the empiricist. I believe that makes a causal relationship to examine, theoretically, everything plausibly made into something of observance. I am a big believer in what acts as theoretically based. My point is why - why make inferentially relevant material into something non-material in nature. (i.e. the linear vs. the abstract) My second point follows that ontological reasoning has a place in philosophy if the philosopher has engaged as a source of her language. Both reflect meaning and purpose as stated in Irawan's dissertation.

- Marco

March 30th 2013

 A random four part syllogism:

"Either I find out by myself or I will never know."

"And today, within this circle, I have traveled in all directions, at least I know where the wall and boundaries are situated."

"No one can proceed further without this knowledge."

"The difference between the circle and the spiral."

- Jose Saramago

Tia (March 30th 2020) 'Marco's angel'