(1) Why is the relationship model to true intimacy, can only take place in my own private mentality, where sexuality is not a cause of that.
Marco can you elaborate on this please. It is said that intimacy does not necessarily involve sexual contact. Is that what you are saying too?
(2) Kenia, yes. You hardly even needed validation, you understood it perfectly. Some people do not give themselves enough credit "to think" in terms of said intimacy which our needs are met.
True intimacy takes place in the heart.
This is why I have taken to art, I practice my own philosophy the way I believe in the world. It makes up consciousness of a universal quality.
Sexuality is extremely - extremely misleading on the subject of intimacy.
I participate in the world with "intimate knowledge" based observations in doing philosophy, because we live in a world which hypocrisy rules our better view of life.
I am Socratic, I am a romantic in my pure findings of philosophical medium. I promote purity in understanding and I am not shy to admit it. The real world does not want to allow this of me.
I have been branded against the norms in society. It has been a struggle, but I am in gods hands now.
(3) And to take this one step further, my moral acclimation is well spent here.
When I derive my path, from where I have come, you reminded me once of popularity in High School.
To be perfectly honest, I am well aware I was the best looking guy out of the entire peer group I represented.
That being said, it is funny how I chose a far removed distinguished persona NOT based on the alpha male mentality. In fact I redefined it.
As I have grown, I have taken a road less traveled when in hindsight I could have gladly "taken advantage" of the opportunism which deviates in societies larger scheme. However, for some odd reason I choose to go against the current.
Think about it, these words to me in this world mean a great deal more than the average seventy thousand dollar a year salary.
How ironic of me.
(4) And yeah, when I say I mean I was the best looking guy in high school you can quote me on that. Because its true. Its also true I feel it today, the same way I was in high school. It is funny how sexuality takes a back seat, when it infuriates the most mindless creatures. I have fought for it. I have earned it. No matter what "mentally impaired" labels, people in my own community have of me. I am not mentally impaired. I fully mean I was the best looking guy in high school to further active my point. It means something that goes over most people's heads.
The fact I am Canadian and say that about myself makes me rather unpopular. But I can live with it.
I am working on becoming an actor.
(5) Oh btw I mean "artist" when I say actor. There are no real artists I know of who actually believe that. Most actors are rather anonymous; the rest just fake it.
(6) Sadly, I have had to seek therapy for the better of my past ten years, simply to gain self acceptance despite what my doctors tell me I should be doing. The truth is I am not a sell out, I am proud of that. I have no real friends, but I openly blame god for that one. Yet, I fight the good fight, yes - I am a fighter. All this boils down to debunking myths of my hypothetical nature, relative to my own habitual nature which I promote, (rather obviously) as contingency theory takes us.
I hated the gang mentality I saw growing up; where young girls my age would gravitate toward boys who acted like wanna-be's. It truly hurt me, and I suffered because of that. Through the heart ache, I found it rather mysterious of me, how I had the vivid lucid impression of a mans vision, I was fascinated by Pierre Trudeau, Wayne Gretzky, Leonard Cohen, all figures beyond my prime and that I never grew up with.
(7) My first hockey game was in 1988, when I first saw Gretzky as a member of the Los Angeles Kings. I fell in love, and knew I had a heart that night. Then, there are the real heroes that come to life, like my father - my grandfathers - my uncles - cousins. I call it my own magic.
Viva Sporitng - SCP forever.
(8) When it comes to my first love, her name is Crystal Clark. I knew her in Jr. High, but she really impacted my life in High School. Her special nature, really made me feel wanted. To this day the most beautiful Canadian girl I have ever known.
So just to make it certain, the world we live in, I know, does not revolve around me.
We are talking about intimacy, so this has been a lesson in story telling it.
My most sacred self is in all these words.
(9) When we speak of hate fueled desires, I loathe the word "slut" that associate with a woman's private need for feeling sexy for herself NOT others. I make things random in my private feelings toward why a woman portrays herself the way she does. There is a precariousness between being nasty then there is to being lovely.
(9) When we speak of hate fueled desires, I loathe the word "slut" that associate with a woman's private need for feeling sexy for herself NOT others. I make things random in my private feelings toward why a woman portrays herself the way she does. There is a precariousness between being nasty then there is to being lovely.
Just a pet peeve of mine.
(10) So in the end what does all this mean: it means I am going to change the world with my ideas, one steep step at a time.
There, I am done.
(11) "...when I say I mean I was the best looking guy in high school you can quote me on that. Because its true. Its also true I feel it today, the same way I was in high school." (MA2012)
(11) "...when I say I mean I was the best looking guy in high school you can quote me on that. Because its true. Its also true I feel it today, the same way I was in high school." (MA2012)
"So just to make it certain, the world we live in, I know, does not revolve around me." (MA2012)
It is curious I am aware, to be the only person that stands up for what I believe in, despite how others believe makes me (mentally) impaired.
Marco, you definitely were ONE of the most good looking guys in high school. And keeping on the same subject of being good looking. I have seen that some men while not good looking in their teens or twenties, somehow look good in their forties. And sadly but true, what most people know is, regarding both men and women, age does take it toll. Beauty goes away, and what do we have left flaunt?
(12) Again Kenia, Iove your enthusiasm and I only wish there were more people that know what I mean, when I say they should be more openly aware to things - like you have done. Because, believe me when I say that no one truly is. I have a penchant for healthy sarcasm in looking over the psycho semantics of others.
Marco
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This interaction reveals a sharp contrast between Kenia’s grounded, relational communication and Marco’s deeply solitary, fragmented monologue. While it begins with a philosophical question about intimacy, it quickly devolves into an extended, self-referential unburdening by Marco, characterized by grandiosity, alienation, and a craving for validation.
Here is a breakdown of the dynamic and key psychological themes:
1. The Disparity in Communication (Monologue vs. Dialogue)
- Kenia’s Role: Kenia acts as an empathetic, grounding conversational partner. She attempts to clarify his initial convoluted thought (“intimacy does not necessarily involve sexual contact. Is that what you are saying too?”), and later offers gentle reality-testing. When Marco insists he was the best-looking guy in school, Kenia tactfully reframes it (“you definitely were ONE of the most good looking guys…”) and tries to bring the conversation back down to earth by reflecting on how physical beauty fades with age.
- Marco’s Pattern: Marco does not engage in a true two-way exchange. Instead, Kenia’s brief prompt opens the floodgates for 10 consecutive, sprawling entries (2 through 11). Even when Kenia responds, Marco dismisses the content of her point to praise her for listening to him, ultimately centering everything back on himself.
2. Grandiosity Masking Vulnerability and Alienation
Throughout his stream of consciousness, Marco oscillates between claims of superiority and admissions of deep isolation:
- Ego Inflation & Self-Mythologizing: He repeatedly insists he was “the best looking guy out of the entire peer group” (even quoting himself as “MA2012”), claims he “redefined” the alpha male, labels himself “Socratic,” and declares he will “change the world with my ideas.”
- The Reality of Isolation: Directly beneath this armor is acute pain:
- He admits to having “no real friends” and seeking therapy for a decade.
- He feels misunderstood and labeled (“mentally impaired labels, people in my own community have of me”).
- He admits he goes against the medical advice of his doctors (“despite what my doctors tell me I should be doing”).
- Defensive Coping: To cope with social rejection, loneliness, and clinical diagnoses, he reframes his struggles as a heroic, martyr-like choice: he isn’t isolated because of social dysfunction; he is isolated because he is too pure, too enlightened, and too philosophical for a hypocritical society.
3. Flight of Ideas and Associative Drift
Marco’s discourse exhibits classic signs of tangential thinking and loose associations:
- What starts as an inquiry into non-sexual intimacy meanders rapidly through:
- High school physical attractiveness.
- His disdain for a 70k/year corporate salary.
- Aspirations of being an actor/artist.
- His childhood fascination with Gretzky, Pierre Trudeau, and Leonard Cohen.
- A soccer team shoutout (“Viva Sporting - SCP forever”).
- His junior high crush (Crystal Clark).
- Random social commentary on women and the word “slut.”
- While he attempts to tie it back to intimacy at the end (“this has been a lesson in story telling it”), the thread was lost almost immediately. The text functions as a personal journal or stream of consciousness rather than a coherent argument.
4. The Core Irony of "Intimacy"
The central irony of the exchange lies in Marco's opening thesis:
- He argues that true intimacy exists solely in the mind/heart and is detached from physical or superficial elements.
- Yet, almost immediately, he fixates obsessively on his own high school physical appearance, status, and how others perceived him.
- Furthermore, by delivering an overwhelming, self-absorbed monologue that barely leaves room for Kenia as a distinct person, he demonstrates an inability to engage in the very mutual, interpersonal intimacy he claims to have mastered.
Summary
The exchange reads less like an intellectual discussion and more like an individual struggling with narcissistic defenses and social alienation. Kenia provides polite, patient, and normalizing boundaries, while Marco uses the conversation as an echo chamber to assert his worth, deny his vulnerabilities, and convince both her and himself of his exceptionalism.
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