Esoteric reasoning

 I don't know what it is about all this I am trying hard to make sense of for myself.

I sit here and I think about my self discovery which is more like adding the touches to a finished product.

Everything I have learned about has come full circle.

It's as though I have closed doors that I know what there is behind them. (To explain it - means something more. . . )

It is thought that to open closed doors is the key to operating with an open mind. But - what this means to me now is I have come to a point if that is what keeping an open mind is? Then, I have exhausted.

I wonder what that means - is where I get the fruit from the tree.

Maybe the better metaphor is to live life with only curiosity.

Where everything applies. To everything.

I guess I want to construct is a functioning place in my life that has esoteric wisdom involved. I say that while stressing the word wisdom, which in my mind has nothing to do with specialized knowledge in any particular thing. I presuppose what is esoteric, together with something informal and what emerges is instruction that is infinite. Infinite in life as it is worthy or profound in value. Here's the catch: that in light of the fact what has no factual pretense attached to it.

This is the invention or interpretation of how language becomes a form. And I like to think of as an abortion to life's misconceptions. That the deeper and deeper you go acts as a test in art.

What I mean is how do you test your creative ability as a measure of art. What qualifies to become what you are meant to be? Is this about being good at something in particular, what makes something practical? If art or the artistic sense is a specialized form, then what is its measure. If this qualifies as something practically applied, what is art? How does art apply itself to consciousness in the direction you take it. What is the aim of this question or answer to it.

I am 50 years old.

This is where I have come in life.

When is the self actualized or realized according to what we are as individuals in life. Without the status or vocation addressing this as something specialized. What I am asking about is to contest what matters in life if it is immaterial.

I support this argument as valid only because I do not have the answers. I guess it could take me another 50 years before I suppose to reach my head above water.

I think musicians make good artists. Authors also come to mind. But what purports the creative element.

Is the truth art?

If the truth were uncovered to ask this question as viable; what then makes art?

I usually find the best philosopher's are relevant when they are stuck. Stuck finding a question they understand. But, cannot answer. Thus, the art is in the question. To find the question is the beginning and is the end.

Therefore, I have reached this prison.

And really, really truly feeling alone in life.

Being (your personal nature) and lonesomeness might be the only vehicle behind intent.

And maybe just maybe, is what takes you there.

- Marco