When I travel in the future, I think about my career taking off... working as a professional actor. Looking to my past, I see myself as an outgoing individual. Marriage is a definite possibility?

My truth is showing.

All of my fears are turning into smiles.

Any person ahead of his time will not relent.

I've been through pain, suffering and neglect.

My parents (...mother and father...) are my salvation.

Right now I know that limiting my potential has its boundaries. However, I've set the boundaries necessary for me, because through the process of healing I've won the battle!!

Negative thoughts were the things that I didn't realize I could discard at any given moment. When I had negative thoughts, I wouldn't know what to do with them!

It's about weighing in on my own pros and cons, strengths and weaknesses, habits, interests and desires.

When children begin to "rebel" (reasoning the way a child may act towards you...) is to prove that children are more capable then you? The boy or girl, (...as they're influenced in their behaviors), aren't allowed to act.

You see the parent, wondering if the child isn't obeying the rules or haven't the rebellious boy or girl broken the rules a parent has made?

The parent/child relationship is a molding or labeling of the child/parent bond. The bonding only infers that the child has permission to act based on the environment, provided that the parent offers them permission.

The identity of the child, probably could be independent if the parent becomes punitive? Does the child only view the parent as the guardian or legitimately a police officer? How successful have the parents become in the authority of the children, doesn't this depend on the quality of ones ability to foster care and strategy to administer what's best for the child?

My question: reflects that parenting attunes the child to adapt and adjust a psychological nature... is an existentialist answer. In other words the child becomes an existentialist property of the parent/child bond. The camaraderie is ritual. Ritualized in the patterns of behavior that links the child to its parent, "troubling world of reality." That is to say that the child fails in the real world to synchronize the patterns that the parent adopts. Perhaps symptoms would include, anger, frustration and resentment. Resilience, restraint and resistance of the laws in an existential world? Therefore the child is constraint to philosophical imperatives.

The child will experience infinite variables of good, evil, greed or the question of who is god. However the child's experience is finite.

In retrospect or if you will divulge with agreement, the hindsight a child would experience?

The parent must approach the child in an attempt to reach a mutual accord or understand, so that the trust in a relationship can harden before "cracking". If the child can intercept the parents wishes, then the parent is in understanding with what the child's needs are... than the child can benefit. The conduct of the child represents the parent.

I'm trying my best to find myself. I need to develop in my self-esteem, without beating up on myself.

I want to be sorry for things that I've done, and that I failed to do. I don't want to neglect myself.

I can accomplish whatever I set out to do, with a plan of action and resolve. I possess a system of keeping true to myself... with faith that's internal as well as external.

I had a strange dream about playing on the drums last night. I can't play the drums!! I also had a dream about painting my house pink, and that the entire neighborhood were renovating their houses. I couldn't recognize my house, with rooms I didn't recognize!

My tired demeanor, can you see me?
The beauty of such a life I’m tainted with.
However, I cannot move in this time of desiring the safety of your pretension.

My only companion true to me lives within.
These eyes of mine are alive from the depth of the hearts center.

You, you lord have this wisdom that calls to me.

You my lord… I have been found.

I’ve been trying to figure myself out within me fires that cannot be extinguished.

Forget the shadow, about my poor openly objective.

I fear nothing, but I beg you to spare my godmother.

It would be a fair trade, and this I promise you my life.

My fear of the unknown has been true.

You gave me the words I express in your image, and I respond to you.

You have tainted my life.

You have tainted my vision.

Now you’ve tainted my blood.

Your beauty taints my judgment, oh lord.

Your beauty taints my judgment; I can’t find the words to express… the words that repeatedly whisper strength.

But lord the devil will not be in the eye of my hearts center.

I beg of you lord to banish the devil from my godmother’s womb, let her be free of her tainted cancer. The devil laughs at her, mocks her; you’ve got to save her oh lord to fight for herself. That you’ve taught her the evil of the devil, has trapped inside her itself? That the devil himself mocks her through cancer, she cannot escape?

The devil laughs loud…

LOUDER.

Dear lord, the Devil will not fight back. Oh lord, she will win the fight!!

Oh lord, let us fight!

Together lord, my promise is to win, the devil will lose its tail.

I'm as depressed as ever. I don't know how to cope with anything that happens to me. I'm giving up on my university studies and thinking about not doing what I thought I dreamed about. Education for me was overated. I should have done something else instead of wasting the last 5 years of my life over nothing. It really hasn't been worth it.