Neurotransmitters

Neurotransmitters

Today is the day I realize,
I am exactly the person I wanted to be.
That in the efforts that were made offered,
A very insignificant amount of detail.
And it is interesting to notice how much,
My universe has expanded.
So much in-a-way I've experienced,
Many different outcomes.
I have learned how to become a man.
And not like any other men,
They acquire goods and services
In order to survive.
I offer next to nothing.
All that's left is my soul.
I have amounted to nothing,
That - that word means nothing.
I reclaim loving women as they once were.
I formed an inertia much less
Any other.
I have been very strategic.
Mind you,
In all this mess of time that passes,
My thoughts have eluded,
Eye contact.
Making eye contact.
As she rubs my foot underneath the table.
I miss you greatly,
Great grandfather's...
And all of this emotion,
I have sorted out despite being -
Left for dead.
I will not talk about those things.
Things I despise.
They are kept secret and amount to nothing.
Like a child kicking and screaming on the floor,
For that toy on the shelf.
Bloody murder.
In a hot hot Winnipeg afternoon.
Flights to and from the city,
Cost a lot these days.
But nothing has delayed my arrival.
So I sit here at the cafe,
And wonder.
Wonder about my dog,
And about things like that.
Where my celebrity meets gossip,
Long ago.
God's ego has been questioned more than once,
Because this depends on an occasion.

She smiles at me.

I see too much and rest too little.
Dreams upon dreams,
Of orifice,
Of demons,
Of passersby.

The living nightmare never ends.
I sleep in images.
I dream in thoughts.
That those thoughts turn into nightmares.

Blast off....
Now kiss me you fool.
But don't mistake me for it.
I am dripping wet
With the air on my skin nakedly,
Replenishing.

My thoughts now end here,
Next to nowhere.
Stating how impressive the struggle has made me.