Culturalist

As is much of my double life. The noble lie. I am a poet in secret.

Banal strategic planning

The spirit of a city should be made of three equal parts. Diversity - culture - freedom. If everyman were to seek rather than destroy it would rarely be governed by fools such as Trump and his Republicanism.

Societal Norms

Social delinquent ...
The je ne c'est quoi,
Of my free spirit.

Neurotransmitters

Neurotransmitters

Today is the day I realize,
I am exactly the person I wanted to be.
That in the efforts that were made offered,
A very insignificant amount of detail.
And it is interesting to notice how much,
My universe has expanded.
So much in-a-way I've experienced,
Many different outcomes.
I have learned how to become a man.
And not like any other men,
They acquire goods and services
In order to survive.
I offer next to nothing.
All that's left is my soul.
I have amounted to nothing,
That - that word means nothing.
I reclaim loving women as they once were.
I formed an inertia much less
Any other.
I have been very strategic.
Mind you,
In all this mess of time that passes,
My thoughts have eluded,
Eye contact.
Making eye contact.
As she rubs my foot underneath the table.
I miss you greatly,
Great grandfather's...
And all of this emotion,
I have sorted out despite being -
Left for dead.
I will not talk about those things.
Things I despise.
They are kept secret and amount to nothing.
Like a child kicking and screaming on the floor,
For that toy on the shelf.
Bloody murder.
In a hot hot Winnipeg afternoon.
Flights to and from the city,
Cost a lot these days.
But nothing has delayed my arrival.
So I sit here at the cafe,
And wonder.
Wonder about my dog,
And about things like that.
Where my celebrity meets gossip,
Long ago.
God's ego has been questioned more than once,
Because this depends on an occasion.

She smiles at me.

I see too much and rest too little.
Dreams upon dreams,
Of orifice,
Of demons,
Of passersby.

The living nightmare never ends.
I sleep in images.
I dream in thoughts.
That those thoughts turn into nightmares.

Blast off....
Now kiss me you fool.
But don't mistake me for it.
I am dripping wet
With the air on my skin nakedly,
Replenishing.

My thoughts now end here,
Next to nowhere.
Stating how impressive the struggle has made me.

The question to answer all philosophy....

The only true philosopher is one who abides by the code. The code is: he who plays God and he who pretends God does not exist. Both are godless and god fearing. Figure that one out.

What is consciousness

True education consists in this: to feel joy and grief at the right things. Aristotle

“The anima is not the soul in the dogmatic sense . . . It is something that lives of itself, that makes us live; it is a life behind consciousness that cannot be completely integrated with it.” Jung

“Since the stars have fallen from heaven and our highest symbols have paled, a secret life holds sway in the unconscious. That is why we have a psychology today, and why we speak of the unconscious.” Jung

Intelligence is logical but not logically equivalent to consciousness. Consciousness therefore is an illogical variable but not in an illogical sense of the word, because consciousness is necessarily illogical in its entirety.  This means that if everything were logical as in linear in the universe there would be no need to renew itself. Conceptually, consciousness also helps explain why phenomenon presents itself without filter as irrefutable evidence of all causes which cannot be predicted.  We as entities have seperate causes. This also eludes us to believe in phenomenon which cannot be explained nor needs introduction. So if the brain is equipped with or without a universal filter, from which all things are examined and observed, it is exactly because of this unknown variable which consciousness is unexplainable by virtue of it. If God had only answers informed from brain matter, that those answers were if at all accurate, means that there are no filters associated with brain activity.  An inactive brain can still live in the body as comatose. So nothing in the universe can actually be questioned.

That is a metaphysical question. It cannot be answered. Truthfully, consciousness does not exist. If consciousness were a program it would be something to deceive you or I. However, because if god created brain matter to be able to diffuse us from our own actions, our own minds, our own bodies would gravitate to that eternal concept of consciousness. If we are on a journey through which we contact your consciousness or mine. God or the eternal consciousness would exactly be revealed to all of us simultaneously. God would have removed the filter we have in order to exalt the eternal mode of consciousness. Can you reach it. No. Can you touch it. No. Is it real. No.

If faith hope and love were to make all things a model of ourselves in the universe, all things rational would be either irrefutable and vaguely impossible. We don't deserve things that are plastic. We deserve things which already are.

What is a person's nature? If a person's coping mechanism shuts down for any lapse of time you read into it (thought of as guilt turned inward) leads to examine how I confuse my own feelings. Irony never expressed my true inhibition. A god fearing type not fully revealing itself.

Does this link biology as in life with the cosmos as in evolutionary theory. One could state does one codify their inorganic matter without assigning it to an intellectual basis, through channeling of inner deformity (biology) and curative elements outside our control. (cosmos)

“It is the growth of consciousness which we must thank for the existence of problems; they are the dubious gift of civilization. It is just man's turning away from instinct—his opposing himself to instinct—that creates consciousness.” Jung

The firm, the enduring, the simple, and the modest are near to virtue. Confucius

"Form is solidified energy; energy is an expression of mind; mind is the covered mirror of Eternity; and Eternity is Truth that has thrown off the mask of mind."

- Meher Baba

I have known this my whole life, yet been condemned because of it.> "It's true that nothing in this world makes us so necessary to others as the affection we have for them."

—Goethe, The Sorrows of Young Werther

“We tend to disempower ourselves. We tend to believe that we don’tmatter. And in the act of taking that idea to ourselves we give everything away to somebody else, to something else.”

– Terence McKenna

When I think of my past, my inhibitions relate to many different things attached. And the liberation I partook in is a whole other matter.

“The concept of the unconscious is an assumption for the sake of convenience. In reality I am totally unconscious of—or, in other words, I do not know at all—where the voice comes from.” Jung

Feel the sadness.
Let go of the anger.

Get back on your bullshit. #TrustTheProcess

Revel in the anarchy of love. Run amok in the heady essence of uncertain freedom.

“You do not make an intuition. On the contrary, it always comes to you; you have a hunch, it has come of itself, and you only catch it if you are clever or quick enough.” Jung

“I'm no prophet. My job is making windows where there were once walls.” Michel Foucault

Ll“Genius is the recovery of childhood at will.” Arthur Rimbaud

Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes.

You are free.

~ Jim Morrison

“Myth is the primordial language natural to these psychic processes, and no intellectual formulation comes anywhere near the richness and expressiveness of mythical imagery.” Jung

“Condemnation without investigation is the height of ignorance” Albert Einstein

“Continuity is only a mathematical technique for approximating very finely grained things. The world is subtly discrete, not continuous.” Carlo Rovelli

“History teaches us over and over again that, contrary to rational expectation, irrational factors play the largest, indeed the decisive, role in all processes of psychic transformation.” Jung

“The entire evolution of science would suggest that the best grammar for thinking about the world is that of change, not of permanence. Not of being, but of becoming.” Carlo Rovelli

Be you, the world will adjust. 

I'm an open book written in a dead language

There’s something inside you that no one can get to. No one can touch. It’s all yours. It’s you. You’re own personal heaven. That’s sacred.

My rebuttal to the verse below: I like the thought. Once you break it down role playing vicitims will always be the same ones acting threatened by you and use reverse psychology to justify what is discriminatory or prejudice toward their alibi. Such is Trump's fledgling idiocracy. - MA 

It’s time we take a long hard look at jailing the Canadians. This threatening behavior has gone on long enough.

Skepticism is the chastity of the intellect, Santayana declared, and the metaphor is apt. The mind that seeks the deepest intellectual fulfillment does not give itself up to every passing idea. Yet what is sometimes forgotten is the larger purpose of such a virtue.~Richard Tarnas

Everything those pragmatic points lead me to is ultimately my own personal choice with chauvanism as a disconnect. My aversion to detail.  Habits that would model as only I would put forth based on one's own philosophical questions. - MA

“Rational awareness requires separation. Consciousness is only possible when the subject is set over against an object.” Charles Taylor

“Plato’s argument can sometimes be understood on this model, that is, as the discovery of contradiction in formulae which are put forward as definitions of a certain idea or standard and are then successively set aside for more adequate ones.” Charles Taylor

So forget that Plato is a philosophical disciple of thought. If I am to be a critic requires to be as vague as possible that it easily abjures contradiction. Therefore, an antithesis which becomes a model or informs us, giving birth to the new.

I

there’s no worse feeling than being so vibrantly addicted to someone who feels neutral about you

It happens only because you think it happens, so the more accurate sensation is to counter that. Why put yourself in the center of unbelievability/vulnerability. MA

I use to feel that way about myself. The wiring in me changed. I suppose I just became too weird for myself. Though in a good natured way. MA

"The ego is a fictional idea” David Hume

“Passion is a primitive existence or, if you will, a primitive mode of existence” David Hume

“Beauty is not an intrinsic quality of things. It exists only in the mind of the beholder" David Hume

Nobody is real. We are all just carefully crafted (some less carefully) manifestations of life experiences and knowledge that we’ve chosen to accept along the way.

Trust your gut. Information is great, but nothing beats intuition.

True. But some people a use their intuitive self to project themselves as abusive of privilege. In other words they make themselves scarecrows. Using your brain is a silent predator.

“A freedom rooted in our nature, and yet which can be frustrated by our own desires . . . requires a more articulated, many-levelled theory of human motivation. It is very doubtful whether any theory which recognizes only hiefficient causation can do justice to it.” Charles Taylor

Human motivation vs. Efficient causation is the definition of do you prefer yam fries over/under traditional fries.  Invocably our words are at the heart of our most basic motivation whereas language metaphysically attributes to all subjective causation.

He could always rely on to reduce those whom he wanted to impress to immediate obedience without having to retort to divine dialect.

José Saramago (2009) Cain

Eudaimonia

I just sit here.
In a quiet discomfort.
All my own.
The attempt for something greater
then my own will - will adopt.
So I search here in wonder.
I just sit there,
in my quiet discomfort.
What I want is to be found,
but I never will be between extremes.
Imagining the disappointment.
An illusion of it.
Sitting here in my discomfort.
Of what internal implications
might enter the hidden door.
I recall the things I can recall.
And as I do recall them,
answers are better asked as questions.
From what sense of discomfort?
From where might I enjoy this view....
From how incredibly ignorant I am.
From why the irony thickens.
This lost sense of discomfort in I.
As I get to the point where my birds-eye,
shapes the view of my heart.
Not distant yet so far far away.

And I speak of discomfort in me.

Words of hope, wisdom & fulfillment

When you are lying to my face about my not being understood and have the wherewithal to substitute it for your own fakery. It is then my purpose that I spoon feed you the same shit you play dumb about.

Fernando Pessoa

I write attentively, bent over the book in which with my entries I jot down the useless history of an obscure company; and at the same time, with the same attention, my thoughts follow the progress of a nonexistent ship as it sails for nonexistent, oriental lands.

-Fernando Pessoa

I've discovered that I always think about and pay attention to two things at the same time. All of us must be that way to some extent. Some impressions are so vague that only afterward, because we remember them, do we know that we had them; of those impressions, I think, are formed a part - the internal part, perhaps - of everyone's double attention. / it happens with me that the two realities I attend to stand out equally. My originality consists in that. I that, perhaps, consists my tragedy and its comedy.

-Fernando Pessoa

I have always rejected the idea of being understood. To be understood is to prostitute oneself. I prefer to be taken seriously for what I am not, humanly, decently, and naturally unknown.

-Fernando Pessoa

I don't know if this just happens to me, if it happens to all those civilization causes to be born a second time. But it seems that for me, or for those who feel as I do, the artificial has become the natural, and it is not the natural that is strange. I'm not expressing myself well: the artificial did not become natural; the natural came to be different.

-Fernando Pessoa

Nevertheless, we must never take the artificial for the natural. It is through harmonizing the natural and the artificial that we find what is natural in the superior human soul.

-Fernando Pessoa

Nevertheless, we must never take the artificial for the natural. It is through harmonizing the natural and the artificial that we find what is natural in the superior human soul.

-Fernando Pessoa

Artificiality is the way to enjoy naturalness. - Fernando Pessoa

Modesty has a value above all in relation to sensuality, as does an obstacle in relation to energy. - Fernando Pessoa

Without bitterness, I enjoy the absurd awareness of not being anything, the foretaste of death, of extinction. - Fernando Pessoa

1- Seeing is having seen.

2- the thing we suppose is alive in the supposition.

-Fernando Pessoa

Far and away the most crucial aspects of Pessoa's work that I wholeheartedly agree with....

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Living, it seems to me, is a metaphysical error of matter, a mistake of inaction.

I look attentively at the traces of absorption and distraction that are erased in it.

No problem has a solution.

We use our feelings indiscriminately to resolve the problems of our intelligence, and we do it because we are tired of thinking or because we are too timid to draw conclusions, out of an absurd necessity to find support, or out of a gregarious impulse to return to others and to life.

Since we can never know all elements in a problem, we can never solve it. We lack the data necessary to attain the truth as well as the intellectual processes that would exhaust the interpretation of those data.

- Fernando Pessoa

Renewed, fluid, uncertain, the rain resounded. The moments were slow in coming in the face of noise. The solitude of my soul stretched out, dragged itself, invaded what I was feeling, what I was desiring, what I was going to dream. The vague objects, participants in the shadow of my insomnia, went on to take place and to suffer pain in my desolation.

-Fernando Pessoa

What if the day and happiness were never to come! What if hope could at least not have the disillusion of attainment.

-Fernando Pessoa

My soul was the same as ever, among the bedclothes as if among people, painfully conscious of the world. The day, like happiness, a was slow in coming - at that moment it seemed postponed indefinitely.

-Fernando Pessoa

Another life, that of the city passing night. Another soul, that of someone staring at the night. I continue, uncertain and allegorical, sentient but unreal. I am like a story someone might have told, and, because it was so well told, goes (but not too far) carnally through this novelistic world.

-Fernando Pessoa

A rule of life that all of us can and should learn. We can learn serious things in life from charlatans and theives; the stupid can teach us philosophy; some lessons about firmness and law come by chance while others deal with chance. Everything is in everything.

-Fernando Pessoa

How many times, how many, as now, has it pained me to feel what I am feeling - to feel something like anguish only because that's what feeling is, the disquiet of being here, the nostalgia for something else, something unknown, the sunset of all emotions, the yellowing of myself fading into a shy sadness in my external awareness of myself.

-Fernando Pessoa

I feel and I forget. A nostalgia common to all people, because all things invade me like an opium in the cold air. I experience an intimate, false ecstasy of seeing.

-Fernando Pessoa

I always live in the present. The future - I don't know it. The past - I no longer have it. The one weighs on me like the possibility of everything, the other weighs on me like the reality of nothingness. I have neither hope nor nostalgia. Knowing what my life has been until today - so many times and in so many ways the opposite of what I would have wanted it to be - what can I assume about my life in the future except that it will be what I do not assume, what I do not want, that happens to me outwardly, even through my will? I don't even have anything in my past that I remember with the useless desire to repeat it. I was never anything but a vestige and a simulacrum of myself. My past is everything I never managed to be. I am not even nostalgic for the sensations I had in lost moments: what we feel is what the moment demanded; when the moment passes, a page is turned and the story continues but not the text.

-Fernando Pessoa

To achieve, during the mystic state, only what that state has which is pleasurable, without what it has that is demanding; to be the ecstatic the mystic or without initiation: to spend the course of days meditating on a paradise one does not believe in - that all seems fine to the soul, providing the soul knows what not knowing is.

-Fernando Pessoa

Everything Iooked for life, I stopped seeking. I'm like someone who distractedly searches for something, and who forgets what it was, during the dream he has while searching.

-Fernando Pessoa

During certain very clear moments of meditation, like these in which, at the beginning of the afternoon, I wander observingly through the streets, every person brings me a message, every house shows me something new, every sign has an announcement for me.

-Fernando Pessoa

My silent stroll is a constant conversation, and all of us, men, houses, stones, signs, and sky, are a great multitude of friends rubbing verbal elbows in the grand procession of Destiny.

-Fernando Pessoa

In the vague shadows of fading light just before late afternoon turns into early night, I enjoy wandering around without thinking about what the city is turning into, and I walk along as though there were no hope for anything. What is pleasant, more to the imagination than to the senses, is the dispersed sadness that accompanies me. I wander, and within me I leaf through, without reading it, a boom interspersed with rapid images, of which I indolently develop an idea that is never completely formed.

There are people who read as quickly as they look at the words and who finish reading without having seen everything.

-Fernando Pessoa

I can't discriminate between tedium and something else.

-Fernando Pessoa

In the aerial viscosity of the abstract street, there is only one exterior thread of feeling, like drool of an idiot Destiny dripping on my soul's consciousness.

-Fernando Pessoa

The reification I experience or least in my awareness of a personal nature, is that I have no power. Alternately, I do give my power away freely (experience) that I feel it in some ways. I do not give into power (awareness) that resembles  authority. I function as I see fit.

- Marco Almeida

Pessoa has a problem to solve in relation to existing and what is expressed on an unconscious level, this in order to establish or to rather distinguish himself. Consciousness, therefore, is the central element that drives this forcefully. Existence is consciousness and vise versa. 

"Evening falls lightly,  the end of the certain day, when those who believe and who wander engage in their usual work, and they have, in their own pain, the happiness of unconscious." 

-Fernando Pessoa

For a long time, I haven't existed. I am extremely calm. No one can distinguish me from who I am. I felt myself breathe just now as if I'd done something new, something late in coming to me. I begin to be conscious of being conscious. Perhaps tomorrow I will wake up to myself and again take the course of my existence. I don't know if by doing so I will be happier or sadder. I know nothing. 

At least I can feel sad and be aware that in this sadness of mine - seen with hearing... For a long time, I haven't been myself. 


-Fernando Pessoa

Decadence is the total loss of unconscious life because unconsciousness is the basis of life. If the heart could think it would stop. 


-Fernando Pessoa

We do not have, it is true, a concept of value to apply to the work we produce. 


-Fernando Pessoa

I'm always horrified whenever I finish anything. Horrified and desolate. My instinct for perfection should inhibit me from ever finishing anything; it should in fact inhibit me from ever beginning. But I become distracted and do things. My accomplishments are not the product of my applied will but a giving away of my will. I begin because I don't have the strength to think; I finish because I don't have soul enough to stop things. This book is my cowardice. 

-Fernando Pessoa

What disquiet if I feel, what discomfort if I think, what futility if I love! 

I interrogate myself and do not recognize myself. I never did anything useful and I will never do anything justifiable. 

I spent the part of life that I didn't lose in confusedly interpreting anything, making verses in prose of the untransmittable sensations by means of which I make the unknown universe mine. I am full of myself, objectively and subjectively.


-Fernando Pessoa

Should I someday by chance have a solidly secure life and can freely write and publish, I know I'll be nostalgic for this uncertain life in which I barely write and do not publish. 

I'll be nostalgic, not only because this frustrating life has passed away and is life I will never have ever again, but because it is a particular pleasure, and when it passes into another life, even if that new life is better, that particular pleasure is less joyous, that special quality is less good, it ceases to exist, and there is an absence. 

I am nostalgic about the hypothesis of being able one day to be nostalgic, even if that nostalgia is absurd. 

I'm almost asking whatever gods there are to keep me here, as if I were in a coffer, defending me from the bitterness and also the happiness of life. 


-Fernando Pessoa


If it weren't for constant dreaming, living in a perpetual alienation, I would be happily able to call myself a realist, that is, an individual for whom the external world is an independent / nation /.  But I prefer not to call myself anything, to be who I am with a / certain / obscurity and to have with myself the malice of not knowing how to forsee myself. 

I have a kind of obligation to dream forever; therefore, since I am nothing more and don't want to be more than a spectator of myself, I have to have the best spectacle I can. 

So I make myself out of gold and silks, in false halls, false stage, ancient scenery, a dream created amid plays of soft light and invisible music. 


-Fernando Pessoa

In my ignoble and profound soul, I register, day by day, the impressions that form the external substance of my self-awareness. 

-Fernando Pessoa

I've always been an ironic dreamer, unfaithful to my internal promises. I always enjoyed, as if I were another, a stranger, the defeats of my divagations, accidental witness to what I thought I was. 

I never gave credence to that I which I believed. 

I filled my hands with sand, I cleaned it gold, and emptied my hands of all of it. The sentence was my only truth. With the sentence said, everything was done; the rest was the sand as it alway was. 


-Fernando Pessoa



I envy everyone because they aren't me. Since of all impossible things, this one seemed the most impossible, it was the one that constituted my daily anxiety, the despair of all my sad hours. 


-Fernando Pessoa

I became like a character in a book, a read life. What I feel is (without my wanting it so) felt so that it can be written. What I think, therefore, I think in words mixed with images that undo my thoughts, which are open in rhythms that are just something else. 

I've put myself back together so many times that I've destroyed myself. I've thought myself so many times that by now I am my thoughts and not myself. 

I plumbed my depths and dropped the plumb; I live wondering if I'm deep or not, without another plumb now that my eyes show me, from white to black in the mirror of the high well, my own face that contemplates me contemplating it. 


-Fernando Pessoa