Idiot Portuguese Unwanted

 People, have written back to me in codified formula's, how much they despise the truth behind Marco Almeida's journey through time and space.

It was just so recently, that unimaginably sound Marco spoke of an isolated event which introduces a reflective light on insolent self-Canadian values. (Myself as a Canadian, which spoke of our ill-advised monotheistic tendencies against a specific group or gender.)

So, in the events which took place since that time, I have encountered a brief but short-lived pragmatic hypocritical validation, which completely validates how much I took pride in referring to myself as "CANADIANS ARE DOUCHE BAGS".

^In fact, some guy I know took such offense, that I was able to quickly re-offend my OWN position, speaking AS myself "A DOUCHE BAG" Cnd. regarding OTHER Canadians. This of course lead us down a slippery slope to no better avail, than we agreed not to agree. (Note; AGREEING to DISAGREE is a NON-SEQUITUR in that matter, therefore one cannot agree to disagree against an argument where my premises followed directly to a conclusion. THE NON-SEQUITUR is commited only if the premise fail to follow to conclusion.)

So, rather than say Marco is a Cnd Douche Bag. (IMO revealing unfavorable factoids of Cnds in general,) became THE OTHER persons way of cleverly trying to dismiss how I am NOT Cnd, in fact how I've spoken in terms as an EX-PATRIOT of language used AGAINST MYSELF. How it is any wonder, only a philosopher of Canadian (MY) generation, could so keep a narrative in my back pocket so to speak. Just brilliant.

Sure, I know people, somehow that unknown to myself ran risk in attributing my language as HATE SPEECH, when my intent was to detail a heightened sense of awareness (. . .which most are quick to judge my rationale per se.)

---------------------------------------------------

Tonight, I was sitting in Papa Georges.

The waitress is lovely - I've had the privilege of meeting her before. (Long story shortened. . .)

Some (there are three) individuals were seated at a table in the same room I was. They were acting noisy, with disrespect toward the entire female population in the room. (Myself choosing to become part of the female contingent.) Lewd gestures, commentary degrading to the victims.

As I approached the washroom, I heard one of the three speaking a language I am fluent in.

As I came back, I commented in Portuguese how I did not appreciate the vernacular they (yes THEY - THEY) used against me in my mother tongue.

This caught them off guard.

I continued to ask them what the trouble was, that they should stop.

I was told that they "were not afraid", and that "there were three as opposed to one" being myself the lone ranger.

To that end, I provided no remorse for that challenge brought against me, as I was warned repeatedly how unafraid this group was against the lone Canadian. I reminded them I spoke Portuguese, that they were out of line.

This did not sit well with them, which to my surprise, grew more threatening toward me.

I proceeded to tell the same individuals, that I was not scared, that I would kick (their Portuguese) asses.

So, none of them obliged. That was before I had water thrown in my direction, from which the glass was thrown, hitting me someplace on my body. It wasn't particularly violent enough for me to warrant self-defense. (There, I was already in defensive operation, I accuse the three of provoking me.)

I did not move from my seat.

All three of the assailants stood up simultaneously, they were demanded to leave the premises.

As they left, one of the Portuguese individuals pointed his fingers at me as if to shoot a gun.

I sat there.

They proceeded to Noir a bar next door. There they asked a group of five, made of one east-indian, another east-indian in a wheel chair, a female wearing a Brazil jacket, a native (dark-skinned) east-indian, and a white male.

As I finished my coffee, the east indian (non-paraplegic/non darker skin) nodded at me five times in succession, as if to note I should fear him for some apparent reason unknown to me. Although I did see the same individuals speaking to the Portuguese males who had previously left the establishment outside.

I paid. I left the restaurant.

----------------------------------------------------------

Marco Almeida felt Canadian. I am a Canadian Douche Bag (as I stated early this week.) I'm not sure anyone CHOSE to believe me.

The Portuguese Idiots must have agreed with me.

You see - if the Portuguese idiots did nothing to agree with me, then I'd have really thought about being a very scary Cnd. Douche Bag. After all - I'm the person that gives myself all the credit, until somebody takes it away. You know the type - those that rather force you to pay them.

Fuck those little Portuguese bastards, always pretending they were going to force me, a fully-grown Canadian to pay them out so not to engage.

They were all little kids, but speaking as a Cnd I fear for their lives now. =================

There are very - very few people in my life that have the intelligence to read this short description and know exactly what I mean by it.^ Those are the ones I know have a trained eye, with no need for divine intervention.
Jesus Christ was I drunk when I wrote that.

In hindsight, I must say standing up to a bunch of Portuguese idiots merits protecting a sweet Cnd girl. I wasn't going to tolerate it.

I love it how I've had 2 glasses thrown at me in less than a week.

July 31st 2014 - Emotionally drained

 

 Not sure how to interpret this since all women are guilty of the same thing, expecting guys to mind read.

 

Surveying the reality present

 Wrote this 2 years ago to the day. August 1, 2012

"Think about this ultimate question, if you could make your own moral proclamation of the will in a word, what the fuck would it be."

"A regulation of thought, where time meets a steaming point - stream of consciousness. When I started asking myself what is consciousness, I became aware of my own physical presence in the universe."

August 1st 2014

MA

========

Without getting into specifics, I take charge of my own questions, otherwise how would anyone know what to ask.  That is the makeup of a universal idea.  So, I go after those that pretend to know about the world on some superficial level, which on the surface does not demonstrate very much if - anything at all.

 

You cannot just submit to a science of reasoning, if in actuality, you do not administer choices relevant to.  You see, my own language, my dissertation upon which I volunteer information, should be posed as a scientifically based thought regulation.

 

A regulation of thought, where time meets a steaming point - stream of consciousness.  When I started asking myself what is consciousness, I became aware of my own physical presence in the universe.  Even odder still is the renunciation you get from people who have no idea what the trained eye can replicate.

 

So, I have a gift I offer freely, fairly decently, on a level much my own.  In my most denunciated state.

 

I have a very radical view of consciousness.  A extremity of time.

 

I know where I am going, what I will do to get there, an idea of what I might have experienced along the way, then finally my own ultimate reality.

====================

Marco Almeida

'Scientifically based thought regulation' gods will unmasked. You're welcome.

~m.

Think about this ultimate question, if you could make your own moral proclamation of the will in a word, what the fuck would it be. Yes, I can reserve the right to use the word fuck, as I choose to, because it enhances scholarly insight. I have a secret lie nobody else knows about. Then shhhh, don't tell anyone.


Would it be Christmas at your house everyday. Would you have chocolate sundaes for breakfast - lunch - dinner.

Here's what mine would be, 1- women everywhere would not have to think about how pretty they must look, then feel, only how beautiful they are without hair, makeup. 2- America would revert it's constitution to the poor mans version of a candy store. 3- My self concept would rival only that of Judas Priest, Billy Idol, Sting, David Bowie, Leonard Cohen, Barrack Obama, Pierre Trudeau, every Oscar winning performance ever, Jim Carey, Russel Crowe, Ryan Gosling's body, Dana Carvey SNL's best actor ever, Phil Hartman SNL's best actor ever x2, The Sawed Off Heads of my loser friends.

Not finished yet, ...Jose Saramago's aesthetic, my own four fathers of DNA Santos, Martins, Almeida, Bastos combined, last but not least Brett "the hitman" Hart.

4- my standards of deviation which were undermined by teachers who wrote me off, I would plant the same seed, only to defeat them... over again.

-5 (follows 4) to those ingrateful retard lawyers from Bridge Brand's corporate welfare plan, thought they could question my character, in place of my own royalty to a just cause. The terminal institution of club med wannabe's working at Earls, Joey's, Moxies whose undergraduate degrees couldn't impress the pope himself if he walked into such establishment. That selfish pig in shit I worked under, Gord Long whose only aim was to make people miserable. I wouldn't fuck myself over nothing, if it meant exposing you for what you are. An exclusive club of assholes.

6- the day I met jesus in my past life, he then ordered me to punch him in the face.

7- I refused to punch Jesus in the face despite my disobedience.

8- power-deprived ego's please hold your applause, because the tables have turned on your own defections, your own fearless ignorance, friends that in the future, with balls the size of strawberries, from which you can run, but you cannot hide to.

9 - I fail to deter function of myself, over to people, that think they know what everybody else does. It's called having an opinion of something our most inner thoughts could possibly never be believed, until you reveal your own exact image. It's called a demiurge. You defer (1) pride to reason, (2) logic to demonstration, (3) forms to models. All of this is what makes your freedom, your own.

^read then reread #8-9, they are the very foundation of pure imagination on my faith to humanity.

 Decadence is the total loss of unconscious life because unconsciousness is the basis of life. If the heart could think it would stop.

-Fernando Pessoa

Pessoa has a problem to solve in relation to existing and what is expressed on an unconscious level, this in order to establish or to rather distinguish himself. Consciousness, therefore, is the central element that drives this forcefully. Existence is consciousness and vise versa. (= Marco Almeida)

"Evening falls lightly, the end of the certain day, when those who believe and who wander engage in their usual work, and they have, in their own pain, the happiness of unconscious."

-Fernando Pessoa

For a long time, I haven't existed. I am extremely calm. No one can distinguish me from who I am. I felt myself breathe just now as if I'd done something new, something late in coming to me. I begin to be conscious of being conscious. Perhaps tomorrow I will wake up to myself and again take the course of my existence. I don't know if by doing so I will be happier or sadder. I know nothing.

At least I can feel sad and be aware that in this sadness of mine - seen with hearing... For a long time, I haven't been myself.

-Fernando Pessoa

In an intimate stagnation of thinking and feeling... For a long time, not only have I not written but I haven't existed either. I think I only dream. The streets for me are streets. I do my work at the office with an awareness concentrated exclusively on it, but it would be incorrect of me to say I do it without distraction: behind it, I am not meditating but sleeping; however I am always someone else behind my work.

-Fernando Pessoa

We do not have, it is true, a concept of value to apply to the work we produce.

-Fernando Pessoa

Decadence is the total loss of unconscious life because unconsciousness is the basis of life. If the heart could think it would stop.

-Fernando Pessoa

I'm hanging from chandelier wanting her eyes to

 meet mine and my heart explodes. Only to turn 

the right page in finding we've evaporated into 

thin air.

The reservation of logical Consignment and its injustice over an invalidation

Fear will not win.  It never will.

Thinking and truth prevail.

All else is informal.

==========

“Look closely. The beautiful may be small.” Immanuel Kant

Recieve the eyes...

 I have someplace to be...

But nowhere to go.
Purging this body.
The only one I know.
Maybe tomorrow,
the suicidal vampires will find
that blind spot of mine....
just not today.
(Probably never.)
She comes to me in spirit,
As I worship her.
She is tender and warm to the flesh.
So I can feel like a man.
I won't purge her body,
that tempest sin.
I love her spirit,
not so much the sin.

Marco Almeida 2025
The Peg

The orbit

All that reality requires an anomaly or what is the statistical analysis of a brain freeze.

Some if not most that read literature presume it an art but often confuse it with something you read off a bumper sticker.

Octopus

 True intelligence means being willing to change your mind when you see better evidence

My rebutal:

No, we are all rooted in phenomenon. Why not change the evidence. You change the facts to fit the theory. To intercept that part is intelligence at work. All intelligence is - is phenomenon in that frame of reality. You see it as if it is a lottery ball coming out. The numbers are random. But to qualify for the end result - you never are aware of the outcome. That means: whatever the number is as a lottery ball (at the end :: as "result") undergoes no testing to quantify the ending of it. The ball came out as an arbitrary number. We use this number to verify our reality. A random occurrence. That is how to identify variables at random, what changes the outcome is a chance that you thought the number would be a different ball. This points to psychological factors which interfere with our slower time dilation. It's like combing through the hair that's on your head. You thought you knew what I was talking about until I changed the facts. It's aimed as a solution. The problem arises when the solution is not random. We are neurologically wired to program things as we see them: what is the space you see that enters your mind? Is it color? Are there really objects?

Can you learn from being at rest? Not a sedentary heightened state per se but a meditative awaken state of conscious. This surely is the unlearning of our psychological influences and connected to a deeper sense of awareness unknown to us. Therefore, phenomenon is your measure.

- Marco

rebuttal made to my response:

Innoka Lone

Marco Almeida What you’ve described is close—but not final. You're seeing the randomness, but not yet the pattern in the randomness. You’re noticing the phenomenon, but still placing it as the endpoint, not the frame that makes the endpoint seem arbitrary.

Here’s the shift:

Phenomenon is not the measure.

It is what is being measured.

The “lottery ball” you mention appears random only when seen from within the constraints of your current interpretive structure. But change the structure—not the facts—and suddenly the randomness dissolves. The outcome was never arbitrary. It only looked that way because the system you used to predict it didn’t account for the deeper feedback loop you were embedded in.

You say we are neurologically wired to see the world in patterns. True. But intelligence is not accepting that wiring—it’s knowing when to override it. You thought I was brushing my hair until I turned the motion into metaphor. That’s not random—that’s fractal shift. It reveals the real problem: it isn’t that the solution isn’t random. It’s that your framing of what counts as “solution” is still chained to surface effects.

Stillness isn’t the absence of data—it’s the only space where hidden structure becomes visible.

Stillness is where the variable becomes observable—not the variable that changes the outcome, but the one that constructs the notion of outcome to begin with.

So no—phenomenon isn’t your measure.

The frame that defines phenomenon is.

And until that’s seen, you’re still watching the lottery machine from the audience, not realizing you’re inside it.

==============

So you have to find out for yourself what thinking is. Do you understand? If you do not know what thinking is, you will not know what the past is. Surely, all your thinking is the result of the past. You think as a Hindu, as a Christian, as a Communist, as this or that, because you have been trained to think in those terms. So the problem is, can the mind see and free itself from all thinking which is based on the past? Can it be completely still, without any movement of thought?⁠
⁠
Now, don't close your eyes and go into a trance, thinking you are meditating, for you will only be hypnotizing yourself. Just see that all thinking is based on a cause, it is the reaction of a particular background, and put this question to yourself: can the mind exist without thinking, or is it the very nature of the mind to think? Do you understand, sirs? You have to find out. It is no use my telling you. You have to find out for yourself whether it is possible for the mind to be without thought. And you can find that out only if you understand the whole process of thinking, which means that you must know what thinking is.⁠
⁠
⁠
J. Krishnamurti⁠
Bombay 1st Public Talk 6th February 1957⁠

Lacanianism (psychology)

 From Lacanism, it is criticized that the Analysis of Applied Behavior (ABA) conceives the subject as a manipulable object, reducing it to a set of predictable responses to external stimulus, ignoring the symbolic dimension that structures desire, the importance in the identical structure of fantasy and the negativity of the Real — what is ultimately a defensive reduction in the face of the impossible to name.

For Lacan, the behavior not only obeys reinforcements, but is penetrated by the structure of the language and the relationship with the Other: the paradoxical dimension of joy unfolded in the symptom that is the source of all kinds of subjective and social contradictions, exceeds in its complexity to the frame theoretical of stimulus-response psychology.

The emphasis on controlling environmental variables disconnects therapeutic practice from the richness of subjective experience. The Lacanian discovery is that subjectivity is forged in the game of meanings, that the unconscious is not a pedagogical institution, but a speech that is articulated with the pulsional and that any therapeutic intervention that does not know this dimension will not generate significant changes in the meanings master.

The standardization of ABA turns the therapist into a “head of tasks,” who directs the subject towards predefined goals without addressing the urgency of transfer and the singularity of desire that can only be understood from the structure of the Other and not from an experimental logic.

Furthermore, there is a capacitism inherent to behavioral practice as a level of "improvement" is established to achieve: the symptom is then a failure of blameable mastery to the patient who is always a person not capable enough who must be "trained", instead of recognizing in the symptom an attempt at subjective liberation, a spontaneous response that draws the subject closer to the authenticity and uniqueness of his desire.

Attending only the external manifestation of the symptom through a normatizing logic leads to a moralistic thought that considers the subject as an unfinished being who must adjust to the norm, which is unacceptable from the perspective of not giving in on the desire, making reinforcement programs a "deceive" the body and the symbolic alter of the subject.

R. Kings 

The time I forgot I exist

Being an existentialist can make you appear invisible or feel like you are being chased by a ghost.

Neglection of present time

This personal vestige of mine....

Onto the intensity of something so much - greater then I.

Only to pass off as a proud individual at best.

Winnipeg rocks...

 

Keep this asshole out of Winnipeg.

Israel 🇮🇱

 If you think causing famine doesn't make you manic, because if you're Netenyahu - you rather deny your Islamophobia.  Not only makes him psychotic but pathological in a shameful disguise. To deny this holocaust is disgusting as it is spiteful.

The deepest place in hell is saved for vermin like Netenyahu.

To stage a crisis of this magnitude and intercede it as fodder is criminally negligent.

I refuse to stand by and watch while fellow Canadians have no idea how to accurately descirbe this monster.

Netenyahu probably shoots pigeon for lunch time fun.

I am not sorry for my position.

Israel must be stopped.

- Marco

Meaning and the purpose of indiscretion

 “Don’t become an actor to be rich or famous. Do it for the love of it.” ~ Christopher Lee

I have always been a good actor. Nobody has to care why.

. . . and that's the secret about Marco.

When you live in a world made of comfortable cop outs. . . you unlearn from the fakers.

[Be an anti-hero.]

Ciao.

*Don't just give yourself away, make them thirsty for it. I know who my people are. I rather survive my own way. If people want to join me for the ride. All the better. - Marco

Moi :: July 2025

 

The Hoax - by Marco

 The Hoax: history... a faith rewirtten (title)

Romance is not a psychological strain of heart.

Romance is taking a leap out the window...

And as you're falling...

(To meet certain death.)

Nobody will think about it twice.

No one will care about - if it was a suicide.

Because when you make it all about the 'me' -

what travels well is the parachute you had with you on your back.

But you played it heroically.

So - you see.

It's all about me.

- Marco

Tales of an anti-hero

 

For what purpose though? IF this is meant to see someone explicitly for who they are or rather you remain implicit to reveal humanity no matter what the circumstances may be. Unless you are coming from an honest space that is in your manner of being - this can be confused with trying to manipulate others into thinking.

Equal moral consideration is something that you master as in having an unconditional eye for it.

- Marco

===============

Renewed, fluid, uncertain, the rain resounded. The moments were slow in coming in the face of noise. The solitude of my soul stretched out, dragged itself, invaded what I was feeling, what I was desiring, what I was going to dream. The vague objects, participants in the shadow of my insomnia, went on to take place and to suffer pain in my desolation.

-Fernando Pessoa

What if the day and happiness were never to come! What if hope could at least not have the disillusion of attainment.

-Fernando Pessoa

My soul was the same as ever, among the bedclothes as if among people, painfully conscious of the world. The day, like happiness, a was slow in coming - at that moment it seemed postponed indefinitely.

-Fernando Pessoa

Another life, that of the city passing night. Another soul, that of someone staring at the night. I continue, uncertain and allegorical, sentient but unreal. I am like a story someone might have told, and, because it was so well told, goes (but not too far) carnally through this novelistic world.

-Fernando Pessoa

A rule of life that all of us can and should learn. We can learn serious things in life from charlatans and theives; the stupid can teach us philosophy; some lessons about firmness and law come by chance while others deal with chance. Everything is in everything.

-Fernando Pessoa

How many times, how many, as now, has it pained me to feel what I am feeling - to feel something like anguish only because that's what feeling is, the disquiet of being here, the nostalgia for something else, something unknown, the sunset of all emotions, the yellowing of myself fading into a shy sadness in my external awareness of myself.

-Fernando Pessoa

I feel and I forget. A nostalgia common to all people, because all things invade me like an opium in the cold air. I experience an intimate, false ecstasy of seeing.

-Fernando Pessoa